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Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

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Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#291

Post by metaphorm »

farax91 wrote: post #226
trustfundbaby wrote: post #106

Man, this really hit home. That guy's life could have been mine. I had this almost this same experience 2 years ago (we were at the job for the same length of time even, five months), and it led to a long period of depression for me. I didn't kill myself, but I have to tell you, I could see how someone could. In my circumstance I interviewed as a Senior Engineer, and got offered a Lead engineer position because appar…

I don't think the two situations are comparable. You were a bad engineer in over your heard.

you're in no position to judge and there's a really disgusting kind of cruelty in your comment.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#292

Post by metaphorm »

sgt wrote: post #207

This widow seems to be the same woman who was charged with leaving her kids in a hot car. The children were later released to the father. http://www.cbs46.com/story/19109920/police-mother-arrested-f... Makes one wonder if Joseph's family life wasn't exactly conducive to stability.

makes me wonder why you're digging up the history of the dead man's family. you work for Uber?

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#293

Post by CIPHERSTONE »

TheCondor wrote: post #213
skrebbel wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I keep reading stories like these on HN, yet I don't know a single person who has experienced anything even remotely close to this. I don't live in the Bay Area. Are SV startups, in general, really this badly managed? If I add up all anecdata from reading HN comments about toxic work environments, I get the impression that 50% of the Valley is run like this. I have a hard time comprehending how this can happen.

I'm not a psychologist but I have observed this kind of syndrome a couple times and I think it's usually more like a performance anxiety. You take the big fish out of the little pond and all the sudden he's a small fish in a big pond and it's a culture shock. The time lines, the compromises and the urgency are all different at a startup. You are used to being the smartest guy in the room at a mid sized or big place,…

It's more like you are the only fish is a small pond that they want to put an ocean liner into.

Startups by their nature seem to rarely have the correct amount of resources for projects/sprints/etc. Anytime you try to cram five gallons of shit into a one gallon bucket, there are going to be repercussions.

Some people thrive on that environment, others like more traditional, better staffed and funded environments. Each to their own I guess. I feel sorry for this guy and his family, no job is worth that.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#294

Post by rhizome »

defined wrote: post #70
fredsted wrote: post #4

It's really mind-boggling this happened after less than 6 months at Uber. I wonder what it must be to work there. Sounds absolutely horrifying.

It's not just Uber. There is no shortage of toxic workplaces, sadly.

Nobody's saying it's just Uber, but this post is about Uber.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#295

Post by rhizome »

ajhurliman wrote: post #68

I truly feel awful for the family, but to play devil's advocate: What could you do if you were in Uber's position to prevent something like this? And no cop-out answers like "Don't make an environment that pressures people" (everyone has deadlines, pressure is ubiquitous). What, specifically, would you do tomorrow to prevent this in the future if you were the CEO of Uber?

Deadlines are guesses and predictions that are chosen by people.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#296

Post by rhizome »

dang wrote: post #141
rhizome wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bots are run against everything else, no reason to think they aren't here.

That theory doesn't fit the data. The overwhelming majority of flags are by users who vote and comment indistinguishably from everybody else. If they're bots, somebody should tell OpenAI.

At the end of the day, OpenAI is only providing guesses, and I don't think it's unreasonable to speculate that there could be bots that are able to simulate voting and commenting indistinguishably from other users.

I'm not saying it figures in any specific thread or context, just that it's possible that bot capabilities may outstrip HN's ability to detect them.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#297

Post by throwaway8800 »

pm90 wrote: post #285
throwaway8800 wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also have a years' worth of living expenses saved, and it also took me about 3 years to build. It has zero impact on my stress level at work. I don't think I feel any more free to leave than if I only had a months worth saved. The idea of leaving and potentially burning through most or all of that portion of my family's savings while I look for another job is no more appealing or satisfying than just staying in the…

> The thing about work stress that builds up is that your mental health declines and you can begin to think very irrationally. Paranoia and depression can set in. I've seen devastating examples of this with people I know. I think it's important not to minimize it or brush it off and to understand that what seems obvious to you or I may not be obvious at all to someone who is feeling burnt out, desperate and depressed…

I didn't mean to suggest that you specifically were brushing anything off; it was more of a general statement. Sorry about that.

What are other contingency plans that can be put in place?

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#298

Post by guiomie »

pdimitar wrote: post #234
guiomie wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm surprised this isn't getting downvoted to hell considering how insensitive this message is and how simple minded one has to be to blame such a tragedy on one person.

Maybe it's my very happy life with my wife; once I got together with her I finally started understanding how important a supportive partner is. One can't simply tell you "I love you" and not detect you're on the verge of a suicide. What arguments do you have against my points?

I actually misread your first sentence, I thought you were blaming this fully on his wife. Who says his wife wasn't supportive as yours? There's really no argument to be made against someone who believes their spouse can feel and fix all their problems for them.

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#299

Post by thrillgore »

clint wrote: post #224

Ed Finkler is doing great work with his non-profit Open Sourcing Mental Illness. They are currently looking for 2017 corporate sponsors, so please talk with your employers about it! It would also be a nice move of HN to help them out since this is a huge problem in the startup world!

Can we get a link for those who want to donate individually?

Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress

#300

Post by thrillgore »

ajhurliman wrote: post #68

I truly feel awful for the family, but to play devil's advocate: What could you do if you were in Uber's position to prevent something like this? And no cop-out answers like "Don't make an environment that pressures people" (everyone has deadlines, pressure is ubiquitous). What, specifically, would you do tomorrow to prevent this in the future if you were the CEO of Uber?

>What could you do if you were in Uber's position to prevent something like this

I would have resigned a loooong time before this.

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