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How to Become Well-Connected

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Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#121

This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. His distinction between the Hunted and the Hunters is great, but 99% of people don't fall into the "Hunted" category unless they are doing something exceptional - and even those doing something exceptional aren't typically hunted. So while I think this is a good list, and it's pretty bog standard Carnegie/How to read peopl…

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Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#122

I consider myself reasonably outgoing, but I've always viewed "networking" as kind of slimy and insincere. At a fundamental level, population A has little to offer / little power and population B has a lot, and networking is the set of personal interactions that population A employs in order to have a shot at interacting/transacting with population B. The "hunter/hunted" relationship mentioned in this article is a ke…

I once traveled to a conference with my PhD supervisor, and I confessed how slimy networking was making me uncomfortable. He said, without any irony: 'you're not here to network, you're here to make friends!'

Treating it that way, just be honest about what I do, what they do etc. definitely helped me make a bunch of friends, if they're useful for my career it's an added bonus.

(If you're a supervisor reading this: please make sure that if you're at a thing with your students, take pains to go around and introduce them to as many people as you can, it helps tremendously)

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#123
post #15

Id love some opinions on a couple networking questions I have. I'm looking for a new job currently and I'm trying to be more proactive in networking. Is it presumptuous to cold email somebody and ask them for coffee? I imagine everyone is busy and doesn't have time for coffee with strangers, but I really hate talking on the phone. And if the person I am emailing is someone I want to work for, should I be upfront abou…

Coffee is a lot of trouble. I think you will have more success just emailing a very brief pitch with something more detailed attached.

I'm in this camp too. Always happy to email back with info to help someone, but not always interested enough to want to meet up, or might just be busy. If you give people the option of either, they can choose what suits them best.

I also vastly prefer email over calls.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#124

This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. His distinction between the Hunted and the Hunters is great, but 99% of people don't fall into the "Hunted" category unless they are doing something exceptional - and even those doing something exceptional aren't typically hunted. So while I think this is a good list, and it's pretty bog standard Carnegie/How to read peopl…

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Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#125

This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. His distinction between the Hunted and the Hunters is great, but 99% of people don't fall into the "Hunted" category unless they are doing something exceptional - and even those doing something exceptional aren't typically hunted. So while I think this is a good list, and it's pretty bog standard Carnegie/How to read peopl…

This whole thing has a huge assumption behind it: That you're someone worth being connected to. Yes, but not necessarily in the way that you mean. In trading, it's said that you make your money in the buying and not in the selling. In networking, you can go after the "hunted," which is basically buying high. If you already have the "funds" for that, it might even be the smart move. As a networker, you can also go aft…

I think that is also in part of what the blog post says. You put out seeds. Some of them grow, some don't be prepare to give little things and not get anything in return. As a result some of these connections will yield a high payout after some time. Exactly like when investing your money.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#126

I wish articles like this would start with "hey, i come from a place of extreme privilege, and assuming you're in the same boat, here's what i did and it worked out ok for me given the amount of resources i had to take the risks i did." Instead, it gets treated as a sort of recipe which further exacerbates the problem of selection bias and network bias. A lot of this type of thinking is shielded by the immense wealth…

Why? Sending emails from time to time checking in with people is not something you can only do coming from privilege. Looking for something small you can offer others as a "nice to meet you" present is also not something you need privilege for (It's just easier with than without). A friend of mine regularly baked cookies and brought them to office. Will never forget that colleague.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#127

Id love some opinions on a couple networking questions I have. I'm looking for a new job currently and I'm trying to be more proactive in networking. Is it presumptuous to cold email somebody and ask them for coffee? I imagine everyone is busy and doesn't have time for coffee with strangers, but I really hate talking on the phone. And if the person I am emailing is someone I want to work for, should I be upfront abou…

If you're talking to a hiring manager, it's literally their job to hire you. It's probably at least a third of what they're responsible for at their company. You're basically asking them for a "people review" instead of a code review. What you absolutely should do is lay out the basic information quickly and completely for them. """ Hi Name, My name's X and I #{was referred to you by Y, heard about you on Z...} and I…

Why are hiring managers thinking that way, though? I was in the process of finding a new job a few months back and mostly what the HR people did was matching words from CVs and job descriptions and then handing off the whole process to the actual management of the company. Often it was a mismatch. It's like inviting the first level support from your telco company to coffee because your internet is not working.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#128
post #76

TL:DR --> mostly email advice. Keep emails short. To the point. "no need to respond" is powerful. Follow up on whatever you say you will. Offer something before you ask for something.

How exactly is "no need to respond" powerful? Are you getting higher response rate just because of this sentence?

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's pretty much a gift that you're either born with or have to work your soul off to attain (not directly; more like "let life beat you up so bad that you find yourself humble and respectful"). I too dislike the people who poorly fake the techniques to win over people. My immediate subconscious reaction is: "They have no other skills and they are desperate to increase their network. Do they have any real skills?"

I would argue you can network easily with others by simply having a genuine interest in what they are doing and what they have to tell you about it. Not a gift. Minimal skill required. Most people generally want to tell you all about what they are doing and it takes very little prompting other than genuine questions. The gift you refer to is, to me, mostly being good at understanding and purposefully manipulating the…

I think we agree but we simply use different terms.

The gift I am referring to is actually being genuinely interested -- and this seems to be hard for many since they're too caught up doing only their own thing, and reacting violently or cynically in a very ugly manner To understand and manipulate an emotional state is to me an acquirable skill.

Quite a funny opposite understanding we have. :) Do note, I am not gonna argue if either of us is right or wrong.

Re: How to Become Well-Connected

#130

I wish articles like this would start with "hey, i come from a place of extreme privilege, and assuming you're in the same boat, here's what i did and it worked out ok for me given the amount of resources i had to take the risks i did." Instead, it gets treated as a sort of recipe which further exacerbates the problem of selection bias and network bias. A lot of this type of thinking is shielded by the immense wealth…

> I wish articles like this would start with "hey, i come from a place of extreme privilege, and assuming you're in the same boat, here's what i did and it worked out ok for me given the amount of resources i had to take the risks i did."

I under your general sentiment but if you look at his Linked In (https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisfralic/) it seems to me that he worked himself into his current position slowly over the years. There are twelve years between when he graduated undergrad and where the article begins. Point being that everyone has an opportunity to work hard, put themselves in the right situations and eventually earn the right to be in a "place of privilege".

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