Does anyone think that this culture of extreme competitiveness and "working hard" benefits employers before it reaches the employees?
Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
41–50 of 317 posts
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#42This is kind of ridiculous. My condolences to the bereaved and all that, but come on. High-paying jobs can often times be extremely stressful, and whenever I have worked in a pressure cooker environment I have often found myself questioning whether or not it is worth it to continue working there. Sometimes, the answer has been no, at which point I figured out my exit strategy. What I have not found myself questioning…
First of all, this is not ridiculous (i.e. deserving or inviting derision or mockery). Many of us are under immense pressure to provide for our families in HCOL environments, and love our families more than ourselves. From personal experience, I can say this pressure can make you feel like you have no out -- you must take care of the ones you love or else face them living an extremely hard life. This can easily drive…
I mean that the outrage at Uber for this is what is ridiculous. Maybe not the story, or even the lawsuit (I understand the family seeking compensation for something like this), but the vitriol directed in Uber's direction for this seems more to do with their place as the current evil tech boogeyman more than anything else.
It was his decision to live in a HCOL area, from what I read his family was encouraging him to quit the job and decompress but he refused to listen. My point is that this sounds like a psychologically compromised and severely depressed man who ended up committing suicide. I'm sure a big part of that was because of his job. But I'm not sure that this ipso facto means Uber should be the subject of our ire.
And to be clear, I'm bearish on Uber, and frankly I usually enjoy the Uber schadenfreude that gets posted here recently. I just don't think this particular instance has much merit, it's just more ammo for the Uber = The Devil bandwagon jumpers.
>>> "Before his death, Thomas expressed both to his father and wife that he felt immense pressure and stress to the point where he was scared he would lose his job. In meetings with a psychiatrist, Thomas told the doctor he was experiencing panic attacks, trouble concentrating, and debilitating anxiety. Everyone instructed him to leave his job, but he was adamant that he could not.
“He was always the smartest guy in the room,” said his father, Joe Thomas. But while working at Uber, “he went down the tubes. He became someone with very little confidence in himself. The guy just fell apart.”
His wife added, “It’s hard to explain, but he wasn’t himself at all. He’d say things like, ‘My boss doesn’t like me.’ His personality changed totally; he was horribly concerned about his work, to the point it was almost unbelievable. He was saying he couldn’t do anything right.” "
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#43Please know that if you are feeling hopeless, like you are a failure, and that there is no recovering, there are people who will help you. You are not your job or your accomplishments, you are worth it and there are people who love you and will help you. In the Bay Area, call (415) 781-0500 to talk with someone who can help. http://www.sfsuicide.org/
If someone is in the state of mind of wanting to take their own life, will they desire to call to talk to a stranger on a hotline? "In spite of their popularity and attractiveness, so far there is no conclusive evidence on the effectiveness of suicide prevention hot lines and crise centres" (2004) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414695/
> When they analysed results of studies combined by setting and intervention, and by exposure to intervention, sadly enough, the highest percentage of reduction in suicide rates observed was 4%.
Wow, that's unfortunate. I wonder if any follow-up studies have been done with more modern technology. For instance would / does SMS or other message services fair better than a phone call today than the phone call itself faired in 2004?
I wonder if there are any ways to help when simply existing as an anonymous person on the internet. You always see hotlines and other resources copied and pasted and I had always hoped they helped.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#44My heart goes out to the whole family. A while ago, a long long friend of mine suddenly messaged me out of the blue reminiscing on old times and stuff. I could sense something was amiss. I planned an impromptu trip to see him. I didn't bring anything up...we just chatted about the good old times, cracked a few inside jokes etc. He was visibly much better when I started back after a few days. We promised to be in touc…
Please encourage your friend to see a psychiatrist. It may save their life.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#45Meta but relevant: 57 points in 35 minutes with no heated debates in comments, but not top story, suggesting high number of flags by users if I remember correctly about HN ranking algorithm. Edit: Apparently this was a repost of the story, initially posted 15 hours ago (and 8 hours ago again): https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14194112 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14198372 Edit again: Now this submission h…
This story was also submitted several times before (with plenty of upvotes and comments, before having what I assume was a downmod from flags/etc) , so that might have impacted the ranking of this submission.
Totally missed that, my bad.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#46So what should you do if you find yourself in one of these situations and get let go? It gets really irritating having to explain what happened at the previous job in every interview.
Atleast AFAIK in Bayarea, nobody cares as long as you have the skills. I have had the pleasure of working with some amazing engineers & team players who were let go in earlier jobs.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#47I think we are missing some information here: "All suggested that he leave his job, but he was adamant that he could not. " The question is why? what conditions need to occur where a man who most likely can get another job easily enough and who has switched jobs before decides that ending his life his a better course of action then switching jobs. They wrote that he eventually saw a psychiatrist, was he prescribed SS…
As others have written, it is similar to people reluctant to leave abusive relationships. Just as people who have not suffered clinical depression can advise to "just snap out of it", those who have not experienced this phenomenon, or are psychologically less vulnerable to it, will say "just get another job".
Sometimes the answers just aren't easy.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#48I wonder how much the equity handcuffs are to blame here.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#49There're two critical ways out of the situation like this which looks like severe major depression to me - 1. remove yourself from the stressful situation 2. seek medical help.
The worst in this situation is that the person is unable to clearly understand the severity of the situation and take an action so the role of friends and family becomes the critical one.
Re: Suicide of an Uber engineer: Widow blames job stress
#50Please know that if you are feeling hopeless, like you are a failure, and that there is no recovering, there are people who will help you. You are not your job or your accomplishments, you are worth it and there are people who love you and will help you. In the Bay Area, call (415) 781-0500 to talk with someone who can help. http://www.sfsuicide.org/
If you want to end things, walk away from your life and career. Stand up from your desk, put one foot in front of the other, and proceed in this way until you tire.
The are always simple answers to complex issues, and they are usually wrong. This answer desperately needs more insight.