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The relationship between social media use and well-being

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Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#111

Post by a_imho »

debt wrote: post #2

I am curious what's the point of being connected all the time? It's a question I've been asking myself since the U.S. election. So I can have access to a bunch of garbage people post on the Internet? So I can chat people quickly? There's like a handful of truly useful things on the Internet. Most of the useless things though take up 90% of time on it. I'm failing to see the value at this point.

It has nothing to do with the election though, it was always like this since it was called web 2.0. Especially for us, working with computers, we are pretty well connected.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#112

Post by gm-conspiracy »

lsc wrote: post #67
seanwilson wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For me, the problem with social media is a fundamental lack of self control; I get into 'someone is wrong on the internet' discussions, and for me, those are the 'addictive but not pleasant' aspects of social media. Why not control yourself to not reply to people you know aren't going to have a healthy discussion with you? Surely the same issue exists in real life?

I haven't quite pinned down why I have this problem on social media but not other discussion sites or the real world. I suspect that social media, or more specifically Facebook is different in some way, and I just haven't been on Facebook long enough to properly learn how to deal with it. It is also possible that something about Facebook makes it harder to deal with, and I simply have left other platforms that have t…

No moderators?

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#113

Post by gm-conspiracy »

majormajor wrote: post #30
overcast wrote: post #9

I came to the same conclusion a few years ago, when I delete my social accounts like Facebook. They only show you the best slices of individual lives, all day, every day. When compared to your life, it makes it look like you're doing nothing with your life. That it's completely boring, while all of these people are living these amazing adventures everyday. Combine that with all of the vitriol comments plaguing all of…

Part of the allure of Snapchat seems to be that people are much more willing to share the human, "FML" style moments when they don't have to worry about them being there permanently. Some people still use it as a "look at all these cool things I do" platform, but then, that tells you as much about those people as it does about the communication channel. Some of my favorite Facebook friends are the ones who post stuff…

So, I do not use social media besides HN, but my partner explained to me the "magic" of snapchat commnets - they are only shared between the commentor and poster, not all the followers.

I think this lends itself towards intimacy, rather than exhibitionism.

Seems it easier to be a troll on Facebook, not Snapchat.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#114

Post by gm-conspiracy »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #32
brightball wrote: post #13

100% confirm. I quit FB after being on it for a decade and I'm significantly happier. More productive at work. Significantly less angry. The big one is that I'm making much more of a point to spend time with people who actually live near me rather than chatting it up with my friends from college. I think people take for granted how much of a motivator a little bit of loneliness can be.

> The big one is that I'm making much more of a point to spend time with people who actually live near me rather than chatting it up with my friends from college. http://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html "It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end. It’s a similar story with my two s…

This is some of the best stuff I have read on HN.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#115

Post by 98Windows »

rconti wrote: post #29
davehtaylor wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>They only show you the best slices of individual lives, all day, every day. When compared to your life, it makes it look like you're doing nothing with your life. Exactly. You end up judging your interior by others' exterior. They show you a highly edited version of their life, made to impress everyone else. You're doing nothing but constantly chasing a phantom life you can never have, because no one else really has…

So many people complain about this, and I just don't get it. Maybe if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem? When I'm stuck at my desk and I see someone posting vacation pictures from Spain, I say "man, that looks nice, I wish I was there!" And that's it. Maybe it makes me think about where I want to go next, but it doesn't send me into some existential crisis. I wonder if there are personality types…

But imagine if you were didn't have anyone to go on holiday with or you couldn't afford it. You'd feel much worse about seeing your old school mate going on a fancy holiday. We live in a very unequal world so this is bound to be a common occurrence.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#116

Post by Expez »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #32
brightball wrote: post #13

100% confirm. I quit FB after being on it for a decade and I'm significantly happier. More productive at work. Significantly less angry. The big one is that I'm making much more of a point to spend time with people who actually live near me rather than chatting it up with my friends from college. I think people take for granted how much of a motivator a little bit of loneliness can be.

> The big one is that I'm making much more of a point to spend time with people who actually live near me rather than chatting it up with my friends from college. http://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html "It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end. It’s a similar story with my two s…

Incredibly poignant and insightful post. Thank you!

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#117

Post by usrusr »

lsc wrote: post #40

I feel the 'social media is bad for you' thing, but for different reasons. I mean, I don't really understand the 'feeling inadequate because of my cousin's baby pictures' thing. I mean, I am happy for them, but that isn't the life I want, so I don't feel bad that I don't have it. Alternately, I could be less jealous than most people, but let's run with the more realistic first reason. For me, the problem with social…

Uh oh, someone's right on the internet, now what do I do?

When I occasionally do stumble into an internet conversation on Facebook or the like where the absence of experience with all those older cycles of internet culture is palpable it feels like I am wasting hard earned skill.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#118

Post by musha68k »

usrusr wrote: post #117
lsc wrote: post #40

I feel the 'social media is bad for you' thing, but for different reasons. I mean, I don't really understand the 'feeling inadequate because of my cousin's baby pictures' thing. I mean, I am happy for them, but that isn't the life I want, so I don't feel bad that I don't have it. Alternately, I could be less jealous than most people, but let's run with the more realistic first reason. For me, the problem with social…

Uh oh, someone's right on the internet, now what do I do? When I occasionally do stumble into an internet conversation on Facebook or the like where the absence of experience with all those older cycles of internet culture is palpable it feels like I am wasting hard earned skill.

That's why I call it DeplorablesBook but that's also where the problem lies maybe. Most probably. Maybe certainly. We need to engage in those tiresome discussions collectively. We need to talk more, with more people from more diverse backgrounds if we want to change anything actually.

Let's educate everyone so that we get an even better internet than the one we came to love back in the 90s and early 00s!

Just got a recommendation for this great correlating speech by a friend actually:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70&feature=youtu.be...

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#119

Post by spangry »

platz wrote: post #72
Swizec wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

TIL! I've never heard of emotivism before. And I don't think that's what I was pointing towards. My comment is about the idea that people aren't used to having their beliefs investigated or challenged. No matter what the basis is for their existence. It's more a lack in their environment than in themselves I think. You can't get used to defending your beliefs until you're exposed to people and ideas that challenge th…

sure, though I think emotivism is pertinent here, for example > "I think you're wrong" is to think you're being attacked This is exactly what the emotivist thinks because challenging an idea means challenging a preference which is directly challenging the moral character of the individual. There is no ability to discuss things in a detached way for them; this seems to check out anecdotally. Is that "not fine?" - I ce…

I suspect many emotivists aren't even aware of the concept's existence. So, as a practical matter, I suppose the onus is on those who are aware of it to modify their approach if they wish to persuade such people.

I've noticed a few older, more experienced 'intelligent-rational' types who have developed techniques to deal with emotivists. For instance, they tend to couch criticism or disagreement in words like "Now it's probably just because I'm not as well acquainted with this issue as you are, but..." To my ears, this sort of language sounds disingenuous and insincere (and talking this way doesn't come naturally to me). But it's hard to dispute the results. I'm constantly amazed at how effective this approach can be.

I suspect this approach is effective, even though it feels like it shouldn't be, because people who are tied up in their own emotions don't pay close attention to what others are saying, and how they're saying it. The way the language 'feels' doesn't activate their heuristic-defensiveness and usually manages to slip past.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#120

Post by voidifremoved »

seanwilson wrote: post #80
ovulator wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In real life when I engage with one friend about a topic his friend who I don't know doesn't step in and start attacking me.

Really? Pretty sure this is common in group conversations if you talk about divisive topics like politics, nuclear power, GM food, vaccinations etc. I guess with Facebook the group is a lot bigger though.

In real life it is possible to judge the mood of a group and avoid or defuse contentious situations. In addition, such groups are usually transient. Real people, especially friends of friends or other passing acquaintances, don't usually follow you home, and then to work the next day, and the next, constantly telling you why your opinion is wrong.

Online, there is no escape short of opting out entirely.

In all, social media gives a megaphone to strident opinions, and has a chilling effect on everyone else.

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