The relationship between social media use and well-being • Hacker News Board

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#101

Post by lacampbell » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 4:46 AM UTC

abalashov wrote: post #37

I can certainly agree with the study abstract and most posts here, but would add a twist: social media use is depressing, but falling out of touch with faraway friends is even more depressing. I've been on and off FB over the years, and what I've found is that the only thing worse than being on FB is not being on FB. There are many people I'd just never talk to if I didn't use FB, and I do think the connection is som…

The real thing with not having FB and connecting with friends is FB chat. A lot of people don't use any other IM service except for FB chat.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#102

Post by rconti » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 4:50 AM UTC

enraged_camel wrote: post #84

rconti wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So many people complain about this, and I just don't get it. Maybe if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem? When I'm stuck at my desk and I see someone posting vacation pictures from Spain, I say "man, that looks nice, I wish I was there!" And that's it. Maybe it makes me think about where I want to go next, but it doesn't send me into some existential crisis. I wonder if there are personality types…

The entire idea is that the effect is subconscious. Sure, seeing one person post vacation pictures from Spain won't affect you then and there, but over time as everyone posts awesome pictures you will inevitably feel that something must be lacking in or wrong with your life.

I don't know. I see all of these people complaining about these effects, and it simply doesn't bother me in the same way (not to say it couldn't possibly have a subconscious effect).

But I feel as if it caused the same effect in me as it causes in others, I'd be talking about how I'm going to "take a break" from $socialnetwork for a month, and how much better I feel, and so on. But I don't. It's just a tool. I use it and enjoy it. If I didn't, I wouldn't.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#103

Post by orschiro » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 4:56 AM UTC

For me, Facebook is the new yellow pages telephone book that contains all addresses to people I may want to contact. That's about it. I do not see any other value in Facebook.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#104

Post by city41 » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 5:34 AM UTC

RodericDay wrote: post #93

city41 wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have had my Facebook account deleted now for about a year now. A major motivation in doing so was when an ex-coworker of mine and my Dad got in a very heated argument. It was incredibly awkward and could have even harmed my professional career had it been some other coworkers/ex-coworkers I was friends with. Facebook thrusts humans into very unnatural environments and just says "have at it"

Arguing is very natural and we would do a whole lot more of it if we lived in real democracies where our votes mattered and had serious consequences (as opposed to a once-every-four-years thing, while everything else is left up to "the market"). You can't both have your opinion matter, and disagreements of opinion not matter.

However, my Father and an ex-coworker of mine socializing is not even remotely natural.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#105

Post by sandov » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 5:53 AM UTC

rybosome wrote: post #46

I removed the FB app from my phone and have the willpower not to use a browser to check it. Stopped short of deactivating my account so that I can still get the occasional message on Messenger. After the insanely contentious, toxic US election and cry of grief and fear from the left over the results, I got so burnt out with getting on FB and seeing so many reasons to be angry and afraid. Cut myself off completely and…

you can deactivate your profile (i.e. You can't log on facebook) without deactivating your messenger account. I did this and chat normally from messenger.com, but can't log on facebook.com

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#106

Post by sandov » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 5:56 AM UTC

stevehiehn wrote: post #99

Ironically, I find the only internet interactions that stress me out is not FB or twitter its when i post on hacker news (like this:)) I think mostly because i care and also people here can be very confrontational.

When I use facebook, I get angry at the stupidity of people. On HN I feel humbled because of how smart people are here.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#107

Post by abalashov » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 6:02 AM UTC

lacampbell wrote: post #101

abalashov wrote: post #37

I can certainly agree with the study abstract and most posts here, but would add a twist: social media use is depressing, but falling out of touch with faraway friends is even more depressing. I've been on and off FB over the years, and what I've found is that the only thing worse than being on FB is not being on FB. There are many people I'd just never talk to if I didn't use FB, and I do think the connection is som…

The real thing with not having FB and connecting with friends is FB chat. A lot of people don't use any other IM service except for FB chat.

Indeed. Outside the US, WhatsApp is often the gold standard, but in the US, FB Messenger seems to be the standard messenger of most ordinary portals, notwithstanding the teens and 18-24s off in Snapchat/Kik/whatever land.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#108

Post by sandov » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 6:08 AM UTC

surrey-fringe wrote: post #27

Interesting how much of an echo chamber HN is wrt social media use. I certainly agree, but most people I know would tell us that it's great for keeping in touch and organizing events.

It certainly is, but I think it's a nice contrast to have in comparison with your day to day friends that are not hackers and wouldn't understand why you left facebook. You just should have in mind that the average HN user is pretty far from the average person.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#109

Post by gvurrdon » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 7:04 AM UTC

borplk wrote: post #47

Only on internet forums like this I see people claiming about quitting facebook and so on. I don't see the signs in the real world. Having said that I too almost never used it from the beginning. I didn't need so many years to figure out why I'm not going to like it. I was on it in the early days just as a techy interested in internet technology then I gave it up and never looked back. Mind you it has become only mor…

> If it was more like email that isn't owned by any one entity I would be more understanding.

Definitely. If it operated in a Manner similar to Mastodon then FB would be a lot more tempting to use for the limited purposes I feel I need access. All I would like to use it for is to get an RSS feed of news from various clubs and to be able to reply to such posts (e.g. to confirm that I'll attend an event they've advertised). Unfortunately, FB disabled the RSS feed some time ago and to use rss-bridge (https://github.com/RSS-Bridge/rss-bridge) requires configuring proxies or trying to solve captchas. Even browsing the public page for an event will shove login boxes or random captchas in my face, and the more it is rammed down my throat the more I wish to avoid it.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#110

Post by andromeda__ » Tue, Apr 11, 2017, 7:24 AM UTC

M_Grey wrote: post #95

RodericDay wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're one of the best posters here imo, so good job. I disagree that argument is about recognizing each other's rhetorical flourishes. Argument is much, much, much more often about people opposed to each other, and bystanders making a decision about who won. See: courts.

First of all, thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. Beyond that, I agree utterly about the notion that argument is too often seen as a sport or a "winning" game. The best arguments IMO are ones in which both parties are reaching out to each other, trying to make a point or communicate some idea. It's a contest, but it's also cooperative when everything goes well. I think about the Wright Brothers, who used…

>when they reached an impasse, switching positions in an argument

Wow! That's insanely good. You'd actually get to do one of two things; see the holes in your argument or see the holes in the opposing argument. Works both ways.