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The relationship between social media use and well-being

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Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#71
post #22
post #2

I am curious what's the point of being connected all the time? It's a question I've been asking myself since the U.S. election. So I can have access to a bunch of garbage people post on the Internet? So I can chat people quickly? There's like a handful of truly useful things on the Internet. Most of the useless things though take up 90% of time on it. I'm failing to see the value at this point.

I never played WoW because I was afraid of how far I'd fall into an addiction. Having read "Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked," I was rather relieved to read game developers who have said they have willingly abstained from WoW for the same reasons. Even device-makers and tech leaders are cautious about introducing their own devices to their children. The book, along…

Game developer here who abstained from WoW and pretty much all MMOs or Free2Play shenanigans.

Although I happily put plenty of hours into single player RPGs (currently Persona 5 and Breath of the Wild). But those have an ending, and they don't require me to schedule my life around them in order to play them.

In fact they let me drop in and out of them very quickly, since they suspend and I don't have to connect to any networks.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#72
post #66
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Framing that difference as a "lack" the other person has, may be right, but creates a sense of superiority over that person which also seems wrong, for certain people that are aware of their differences (they may not be "lacking" anything"). Some people are emotivists ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotivism ), which means that for them preferences are moral positions in themselves, not just reasons about the morali…

TIL! I've never heard of emotivism before. And I don't think that's what I was pointing towards. My comment is about the idea that people aren't used to having their beliefs investigated or challenged. No matter what the basis is for their existence. It's more a lack in their environment than in themselves I think. You can't get used to defending your beliefs until you're exposed to people and ideas that challenge th…

sure, though I think emotivism is pertinent here, for example

> "I think you're wrong" is to think you're being attacked

This is exactly what the emotivist thinks because challenging an idea means challenging a preference which is directly challenging the moral character of the individual. There is no ability to discuss things in a detached way for them; this seems to check out anecdotally.

Is that "not fine?" - I certainly don't like it, and I don't think it's fine for people i choose to interact with, but my first step is to understand it, if only because there are so many people like this. Folks will continue to act like this despite my desire to see the opposite behavior, so it's good to be prepared and not self-deceive what other people are really like.

> My comment is about the idea that people aren't used to having their beliefs investigated or challenged.

I think I get where you're coming from. someone people not used to something could be said to having a deficiency in dealing with that situation and presumably with more experience they would change their behavior.

But I think there may be a slight difference in what I was saying, which includes some overlap with your point, but also allows for people who are quite familiar with being challenged, but yet immediately disapprove of such behavior anyways, due to the explanations above.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#73
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For me, the problem with social media is a fundamental lack of self control; I get into 'someone is wrong on the internet' discussions, and for me, those are the 'addictive but not pleasant' aspects of social media. Why not control yourself to not reply to people you know aren't going to have a healthy discussion with you? Surely the same issue exists in real life?

I haven't quite pinned down why I have this problem on social media but not other discussion sites or the real world. I suspect that social media, or more specifically Facebook is different in some way, and I just haven't been on Facebook long enough to properly learn how to deal with it. It is also possible that something about Facebook makes it harder to deal with, and I simply have left other platforms that have t…

For what it's worth I rarely comment, I like the odd posts and use messenger a fair bit. I'd likely avoid a public comment that could possibly be seen as confrontational as it doesn't seem worth the drama it might cause between friends.

I've been tempted to reply to anti-GM food posts for example but it's very obvious how it would degenerate.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#74
post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have never been on FB. I email occasionally with far away friends. A phone call once in a while.

It's certainly possible for the truly devoted.

Is that sarcasm, or is the occasional email or phone call really considered a sign of strong devotion for someone we consider a friend?

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For me, the problem with social media is a fundamental lack of self control; I get into 'someone is wrong on the internet' discussions, and for me, those are the 'addictive but not pleasant' aspects of social media. Why not control yourself to not reply to people you know aren't going to have a healthy discussion with you? Surely the same issue exists in real life?

As an anecdote, I very rarely use Facebook. But recently saw someone on my feed share their thoughts on a very interesting topic that had a lot of nuance. I thought I would weigh in because I know this person is thoughtful and open to productive discussion, so I leave a comment. Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep…

> Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up.

Sounds similar to real life though when serious topics come up...some people aren't interested in their views being challenged, get overly defensive and don't care about what an ad-hominem attack is. You're best either avoiding those kinds of conversations or those kinds of people.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#76
post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's certainly possible for the truly devoted.

Is that sarcasm, or is the occasional email or phone call really considered a sign of strong devotion for someone we consider a friend?

Being an old Millennial/borderline GenX, my personal answer would be the latter. I suspect younger Snapchattin' folks would view the comment as sarcasm. Then again, they view everything as sarcasm by default. :-)

https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/how-to-live...

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an anecdote, I very rarely use Facebook. But recently saw someone on my feed share their thoughts on a very interesting topic that had a lot of nuance. I thought I would weigh in because I know this person is thoughtful and open to productive discussion, so I leave a comment. Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep…

> Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up. Sounds similar to real life though when serious topics come up...some people aren't interested in their views be…

In real life when I engage with one friend about a topic his friend who I don't know doesn't step in and start attacking me.

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For me, the problem with social media is a fundamental lack of self control; I get into 'someone is wrong on the internet' discussions, and for me, those are the 'addictive but not pleasant' aspects of social media. Why not control yourself to not reply to people you know aren't going to have a healthy discussion with you? Surely the same issue exists in real life?

As an anecdote, I very rarely use Facebook. But recently saw someone on my feed share their thoughts on a very interesting topic that had a lot of nuance. I thought I would weigh in because I know this person is thoughtful and open to productive discussion, so I leave a comment. Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep…

I have had my Facebook account deleted now for about a year now. A major motivation in doing so was when an ex-coworker of mine and my Dad got in a very heated argument. It was incredibly awkward and could have even harmed my professional career had it been some other coworkers/ex-coworkers I was friends with.

Facebook thrusts humans into very unnatural environments and just says "have at it"

Re: The relationship between social media use and well-being

#80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Of course their friends who I don't know can also see my comment, and they quickly weigh in with their un-thought out vitriol. I try to keep the discussion going for a little while, but they quickly degenerate it into ad-hominem attacks (which is impressive because I am a stranger to them) and I give up. Sounds similar to real life though when serious topics come up...some people aren't interested in their views be…

In real life when I engage with one friend about a topic his friend who I don't know doesn't step in and start attacking me.

Really? Pretty sure this is common in group conversations if you talk about divisive topics like politics, nuclear power, GM food, vaccinations etc. I guess with Facebook the group is a lot bigger though.
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