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My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

mcsweeneys.net

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Re: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

#3

Post by hgdsraj »

I don't get it seriously, this lady has too much money, only helps herself and others who fund her addiction to premium and unnecessary products. She has a highly inneficient life basically focused on fads and things sold to people as scams. She and her husband don't communicate enough. She has a psychological condition that allows her to feel empowered and with this inneficiency. She convinces others with unusual amounts of money in a cult like fashion to buy her product. She continues to profit, and she brags about this pyramid scheme that she isn't even at the top of.

Re: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

#4

Post by mattkrause »

hgdsraj wrote: post #3

I don't get it seriously, this lady has too much money, only helps herself and others who fund her addiction to premium and unnecessary products. She has a highly inneficient life basically focused on fads and things sold to people as scams. She and her husband don't communicate enough. She has a psychological condition that allows her to feel empowered and with this inneficiency. She convinces others with unusual am…

(Psst...it's satire!)

Re: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

#6

Post by hgdsraj »

mattkrause wrote: post #4
hgdsraj wrote: post #3

I don't get it seriously, this lady has too much money, only helps herself and others who fund her addiction to premium and unnecessary products. She has a highly inneficient life basically focused on fads and things sold to people as scams. She and her husband don't communicate enough. She has a psychological condition that allows her to feel empowered and with this inneficiency. She convinces others with unusual am…

(Psst...it's satire!)

Gosh thanks I was blown away

Re: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

#9

Post by jeppebemad »

titanomachy wrote: post #7

My favourite line: > After years of research, I have engineered the most efficient possible workout, which is a single, 100-pound kettlebell swing, followed by four and a half minutes of foam rolling.

So many great quotes in there

> To make cleanup more efficient, I have seven Vitamix blender pitchers, which I clean all at once on Sunday evenings. Best $1200 I’ve ever spent. So much time saved.

> We have also adapted our own version of the Nonviolent Communication protocol, which allows us to express all of our needs, feelings, fears, and experiences from the day in a loving exchange of five sentences each. (To learn more, check out my husband’s wonderful book, The Four Hour Relationship.)

Edit: hard to single out the best among many!

Re: My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours

#10

Post by iamacynic »

hgdsraj wrote: post #3

I don't get it seriously, this lady has too much money, only helps herself and others who fund her addiction to premium and unnecessary products. She has a highly inneficient life basically focused on fads and things sold to people as scams. She and her husband don't communicate enough. She has a psychological condition that allows her to feel empowered and with this inneficiency. She convinces others with unusual am…

this kind of satire is actually very common (they're just making fun of a entire subculture by condensing as much of it as possible into a single extremely over-the-top person), but mcsweeney's always takes it to the next level.
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