How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015) • Hacker News Board

Re: How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)

#201

Post by onmobiletemp » Tue, Mar 28, 2017, 8:32 PM UTC

abandonliberty wrote: post #181

onmobiletemp wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please stop, you are wrong. Im attractive and people hate me. Have you ever considered whats its like to be attractive? People are instantly jealous of you and hate you. And they make sure to lay judgement into you -- if you arent whip smart they will tear you down just like anyone else. I know ugly, average looking and good looking people who all do very well with people and in life. It comes down to your intelligen…

>Please stop, you are wrong. Im attractive and people hate me. These two sentences are all the evidence required to conclude that your issue is not your looks. They reek of a superiority complex, victim mentality, and a complete lack of understanding and respect for other people and their life experiences. Very unattractive. No wonder people want to tear you down. You can keep blaming your looks and other people for…

Nah thats just you reading into it too much or projecting. You know nothing about me.

Re: How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)

#202

Post by jackskell » Tue, Mar 28, 2017, 10:25 PM UTC

As an introvert and someone who cares about my privacy and doesn't like to reveal personal details, I find it easier to simply keep the conversational ball in the other person's court.

This seems to equal being a good listener.

The trick is to learn to close the conversation when you are done with it, and avoid useless prattle from the other person.

Re: How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)

#203

Post by mdekkers » Wed, Mar 29, 2017, 5:25 AM UTC

wccrawford wrote: post #164

StavrosK wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're staring the point right in the eyes, but are missing it: > was a smooth political operator This is it right there. It doesn't matter so much how attractive he was. If he can do politics, it's game over for everyone who can't.

I think the point of his story is that it's easier to be a smooth political operator if you look good.

indeed

Re: How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)

#204

Post by mdekkers » Wed, Mar 29, 2017, 5:29 AM UTC

StavrosK wrote: post #174

wccrawford wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the point of his story is that it's easier to be a smooth political operator if you look good.

The GP presented it as if the entire reason that this person was a smooth political operator was that they were attractive, which is trivially refuted, as I've seen attractive people who were bad at politics.

Looking good doesn't automatically translate to being good at politics, but it gives your political success a serious boost, and there is a slew of research that backs this up:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/jun/17/candid... http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/03/opinion/sunday/health-beau... http://web.mit.edu/polisci/people/faculty/documents/Lawson%2... http://www.macleans.ca/society/science/the-mysterious-power-...

Re: How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)

#205

Post by anthillsoft » Wed, Mar 29, 2017, 9:22 AM UTC

Hungarian_aztec wrote: post #187

onmobiletemp wrote: post #87

I started paying attention to people and discovered a lot of this on my own over the course of three years. At some point i realized that whenever i talked to someone their eyes would glaze over and their face would go stony. Then theyd talk to someone else and their eyes would become focused and their face alive and animated. Laughter. I figured out this was because they didnt care about what i was saying or about m…

Did you just call me an autist?

Genuinely made me chuckle. Hats off to you sir!