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Reverse Culture Shock

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Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#111

Post by feelix »

To someone who has not tried living overseas this may sound like a classic 'first world problem', and I suppose it is.

But what I can't stress enough is how severe it can be. I went and lived in various places around the world for a decade, from about 23 to 33. The place I settled down most was in Ecuador, where I learnt the language, met my long term partner, and made some close friends and integrated with the culture. But I spent years in Europe, the USA, and Asia too.

All of the above was achieved just by coding software and selling it off some wordpress websites I put together.

And now I've been back in New Zealand for exactly 3 years, and it's awful. Life is so repetitious and small and boring. I've never been more miserable. And it's for the same reasons in this article, and that other people are mentioning in this thread.

The funny thing is that before I left I had no particular desire to go (I just did it because it was easy and my friend wanted to), and I was happy. But now, because I have had those life changing experiences, I'm not.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#112

Post by iamcreasy »

feelix wrote: post #111

To someone who has not tried living overseas this may sound like a classic 'first world problem', and I suppose it is. But what I can't stress enough is how severe it can be. I went and lived in various places around the world for a decade, from about 23 to 33. The place I settled down most was in Ecuador, where I learnt the language, met my long term partner, and made some close friends and integrated with the cultu…

Can you give us an example about the difference in your life between Ecuador and New Zealand?

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#113

Post by cplanas »

kawsper wrote: post #23

I lived 3 years in the UK, and now I am back in Denmark for a while, I hope to return, but lets see what Theresa May & co figures out. I always thought I wanted to go for the dual-citizenship, but not anymore. It is difficult to live in a new place, you don't really feel integrated even though you have friends, speak the language, go to events, pay your taxes, and get the jokes, you will always be the dane and a fore…

> A thing I noticed when I was away is how stupid and mundane Danish everyday local politics look

That's... surprising. I lived a few years in Denmark, and what characterized the country for me was the extreme anti-immigrant tone of the media and the politics. Now I live in the US, and what is happening with the current POTUS seems pretty moderate to me in comparison.

Actually that's my five cents on the "reverse culture shock": now I empathize much more with the situation of the immigrants back home.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#114

Post by donw »

bane wrote: post #57
donw wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have lived in Japan for about eight years now, with a year-and-a-half somewhere in the middle spent bouncing around Germany. Originally, it felt... very odd, every time I came back Stateside, especially when visiting the podunk suburb where my parents live (and incidentally, where I grew up). Going from a city of 13 million that has quite possibly the best civic infrastructure in the world, to an aging and slowly dyi…

My experiences in Asia come mostly from Korea. Over the last decade or so I've noticed the grocery stores and selection there have dramatically improved such that I can usually find a reasonable analog for just about anything I want (so long as I don't get too fancy or want good cheese). But I've never lived there long enough to probably need that one thing. I think also, I've been married into Korean life so long, m…

Fruit in Tokyo is both ludicrously overpriced and, in general, mediocre. Japanese people prefer soft fruit, so crunchy apples are very hard to come by.

Many common ingredients in Western cooking don't exist -- I would kill for a supply of fresh jalapeños, or potatoes suitable for baking (you only find two varieties of potato in Japanese supermarkets).

I can't legally have a barbecue, either, so it's really hard to escape from fried meat here. My cholesterol numbers shot up quite badly when I moved to Japan, even though I'm not that much of a meat-eater (maybe 2-3 times per week).

A decently-sized kitchen with room for a stand mixer is basically unobtainable unless you spend serious money on an apartment, not to mention a proper oven. Japanese homes don't have ovens, so you have to buy your own. Ovens sold for the consumer market here are only slightly larger than microwaves, and while they come with more inbuilt computing power than AWS, simple things like "cook at a low temperature for three hours" are impossible.

I could go on, but suffice it to say: Japan has many wonderful things, but they don't line up with my hobbies and interests.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#115

Post by sreenadh »

nickbauman wrote: post #44

A German-born American with 11 years total living in Germany. Almost all of it with the iron curtain in place. A white guy, I now live in a neighborhood that's 3/4 black, 10% Hmong for 16 years, I feel very normal being permanently out-of-place. In Germany I am the "Amerikanischer". Here it's "he's German". But I'm permanently alone in a crowd, too. Always on the outside looking in. Suspicious of the herd. Skeptical…

I am an Indian who has grown up and lives in UAE most of my life. I really enjoy the feeling of being an outsider here & in India.

I feel like I am an alien on parent earth with no place to call home.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#116

Post by distances »

vacri wrote: post #74
JacobAldridge wrote: post #56

The old adage is that a man can never step into the same stream twice; for it is not the same stream, and he is not the same man. Stepping back home (in our case, moving back to Australia after 2+ years living in London) is much the same - you have changed, and home has changed, but you don't expect either to be different. I think a big part is expectations. When we left, we were expecting something different, unusua…

A Greek friend of mine said of the Greek diaspora here in Melbourne that when they came out post-war, they became 'hyper-Greek' as a coping mechanism, embracing their culture more fully. They then travel back to Greece for whatever reason, and complain about how decadent it's become. Of course, he says, Greece hasn't really changed, it's just that now the ex-pats are seeing it through the lens of being 'hyper-Greek'…

I've heard this is indeed often the case, emigrants embracing their home culture in a more fundamental way. Maybe the imagined state of one's culture is often that of the grandparents' time, always a bit behind of the reality.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#117

Post by roel_v »

cplanas wrote: post #113
kawsper wrote: post #23

I lived 3 years in the UK, and now I am back in Denmark for a while, I hope to return, but lets see what Theresa May & co figures out. I always thought I wanted to go for the dual-citizenship, but not anymore. It is difficult to live in a new place, you don't really feel integrated even though you have friends, speak the language, go to events, pay your taxes, and get the jokes, you will always be the dane and a fore…

> A thing I noticed when I was away is how stupid and mundane Danish everyday local politics look That's... surprising. I lived a few years in Denmark, and what characterized the country for me was the extreme anti-immigrant tone of the media and the politics. Now I live in the US, and what is happening with the current POTUS seems pretty moderate to me in comparison. Actually that's my five cents on the "reverse cul…

I interpreted his comment as 'what seems so big when you're living somewhere, is most likely just noise when you look ay it frim a larger perspective'. In times when I live away from the country I call 'home' (well I've only had 2 countries like that, it's not that I switch every few weeks), I find that I don't miss anything by not keeping up with the details of the news - on the contrary. And in fact, for reentry and reassimilation, it's more important to know what tv shows are popular in the home country than who is minister of foreign affairs.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#118

Post by zrth »

sreenadh wrote: post #115
nickbauman wrote: post #44

A German-born American with 11 years total living in Germany. Almost all of it with the iron curtain in place. A white guy, I now live in a neighborhood that's 3/4 black, 10% Hmong for 16 years, I feel very normal being permanently out-of-place. In Germany I am the "Amerikanischer". Here it's "he's German". But I'm permanently alone in a crowd, too. Always on the outside looking in. Suspicious of the herd. Skeptical…

I am an Indian who has grown up and lives in UAE most of my life. I really enjoy the feeling of being an outsider here & in India. I feel like I am an alien on parent earth with no place to call home.

I call the internet my home and I welcome you to do the same!

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#119

Post by emchamp »

Long time lurker here, first time poster.

I am an American living in Japan and enjoying all the trials and struggles of living somewhere utterly different from where you grew up. In Japan I'm American, however back home I am Asian-American. Among Asian Americans I'm further subdivided into another category. I have very few close friends of my own ethnicity and those that I have I would consider as just Americans anyways. The thing is that even with people of my own ethnic group, I don't have much to relate to since I don't speak the language and I grew up somewhere completely different. I discovered after coming to Japan that the thing I relate to the most is being American. However it's funny that in the US I knew I was American but I always felt I had to put an asterisk on that or a hyphen since I wasn't part of the majority.

My point is that I've always felt as somewhat of an outsider no matter where I've gone, but still I have a concept of home and that is the US. I think it took going to somewhere completely different to REALLY cement my own self-identity and self-image.

Coming here I had no idea what I would come out identifying as culturally, but I think it should have been obvious that it's the place that I grew up in and spent most of my time despite feeling like an outsider at times.

I'm likely going to go back home soon for many reasons (culture differences, language barrier, heavily reduced respect/pay for programmers over here, missing friends/family) and I'm curious how I will handle the reverse culture shock. From this experience though I'll gained have a stronger identity and how important being an American is to that.

Re: Reverse Culture Shock

#120

Post by briandear »

herbst wrote: post #110
mahyarm wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

America should not be comparing itself to developing nations, but other developed nations. In that they fall short in many things.

From a outside perspective America seems like a developing nation in many perspectives. So I think both should be done. The amount of homeless, jobless, bad education, a meme president and all that is nothing you find in 'your usual developed nation'

More jobless in America? [citation needed]
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