Ask HN: Developers with kids, how do you skill up?

Without reading all the comments (I'm sure there is great advice).

The older you get the more structured your life gets. Startup cofounder, husband, dad of 2 (10 & 7 now...), Ironman, runner, endurance cyclist. Focus on the important things; you can't do everything so do what matters most.

1. Your kids will only be kids once. You will never get that time back, so figure out what's most important.

2. Get them involved. Young. There are opportunities for kids to learn. Teach them. Get them involved. My kids are startup kids. But their fun times include coming to the office evenings and tinkering with a raspberry pi or doing some kodable stuff

3. Prioritize. Things change. I used to be a gamer. And tinkerer. And... other things. Now, I work (SimpleLegal CTO. I'm a husband and father. And I race my bicycle (train 10-15 hrs per week). That's pretty much it. There is plenty of time in the day, and it's easy to waste.

Currently struggling as a father of three (12, 10,7) with how to up my game as a developer. At the evening, when I get home, I'm just dead tired. I get no further than eat diner, watch a documentary, read a little and sleep. Repeat. Weekends are filled with chores and quality time with kids. All this leaves me without the energy or drive to learn something new, while time flies by. So I'm gonna read all the comments now, see what I can pick up. But it won't be easy.

I have a 7 year old step daughter. I make heavy use of a calendar and set aside blocks of time during the week for focused study. I make sure that I don't schedule myself for anything involving deep concentration when my kid is home and awake. You are just asking for frustration because kids _will_ interrupt your flow and you _will_ be a jerk about it. Don't be that parent. A calendar makes it clear where the gaps in your day are to focus on improving your skill set. Trust me, you have a lot more time than you think you do.

Having a kid doesn't mean you never have any time for personal enhancement like study or exercise. It just means that you have to be more structured and focused. It takes a lot of trial and error to find a good balance.

This is such a great question because I've been struggling with this too.

I'm a full-time hired CTO for a startup and I have a 1yr old girl, married and I recently bought a house that also requires a bunch of time. 1 year ago I was addicted to learning new things and hacking things together. I had a dozen side projects and I was part of several start-ups, invested money, time and I was shareholder in a few of those start-ups.

Sad truth was for me that I couldn't combine all of these after we got the baby. I had to step down for some of the startups I was involved in. In the beginning I tried to combine it, but since I only had 5 minutes, here, 10 minutes there, it was impossible to keep up with the pace that startups require. I also couldn't plan meetings anymore with my cofounders, it was actually annoying. The little time I had I wanted to spend on engineering, not on meetings.

This has been very frustrating for me, but just like anyone else here in this hacker news thread; Working / developing couldn't bring me any of the happiness that being with my baby girl could.

Here are my random thoughts;

- Skilling up is also part of my job. I would say that around 1/3rd of my working hours it's all about reading & research. Of course, hacker news is also part of that ;-) It should be perfectly possible to talk about this with your superior and ask for more time to research or try new technology/frameworks. Everyone benefits from this.

- Commuting is part of my daily life and I use this time to either read up on things (Instapaper) or listen to podcasts, like Software Engineering Daily. Podcasts are great. I also listen to podcasts when I do boring tasks that don't require much thinking, like mowing my lawn or removing snow from the driveway.

- Step down early form side projects when they don't bring you anything.

- Learn to say no. No to sideprojects, friends with good ideas, bosses that want overtime. No.

- Watching less Netflix / movies / TV shows.

Last but not least, I was also a heavy gamer around 5 - 6 years ago. Stop gaming before you get children, I regret all those hours I played games in stead of hacking&learning. Uninstall those games, now. If I could talk to a younger me before getting children; Work hard, don't be lazy, get things done and I can't stress enough to stop gaming.

Dealing with kids increases your capability to deal with managers, so there's that.