Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
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Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#2I've started some treatment recently, and for some reason I immediately started dating and looking for mates again.
I quickly realized how difficult it is. You can't find women unless you have a job, while women have made outstanding progress in education and the workforce, and for some reason they have a hard time dating people who have a less comfortable situation than themselves. I don't want to ride the whole mensright bandwagon or to criticize feminism, but it can be a difficult source of unhappiness for some.
I dated this young mother of two who managed to be a teacher for kids, she got help from her middle class parents, I can really say that when you feel the class struggle seeping into your love life, it is a very weird feeling. Of course it's not the only reason, I'm not saying it, but it can the source of other problems.
One generation behind us, women still sort of relied on men, and now that the tables have turned, women might need to make a compromise.
Not to mention the whole tinder generation which is making things a little weirder.
EDIT:
This comment is full of personal opinion, so take it with a big grain of salt.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#3this is hate speech: choose a subset of people (men not working in a certain age group) and tell them that they ought to live in fear of being called a "problem" unless they get back to work. this is UK-level stupid.
in reality, a group of "job creators" decided to arrogate to themselves a monopoly on "job creation". Therefore, job creation is in control of an unelected minority.
When the unelected job creators decide to screw around and play games instead of, say, studying job creation and actually TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for being GOOD HUMAN BEINGS, then we got problems.
Job creation is still a difficult, painful subject that is highly subjective. What is a job from one person's point of view may be a pointless waste of time from another's point of view. In general, we assume that job creation is not our problem, therefore leaving the unelected set of "job creators" to screw up and generally fail to be anything other than little babies who poop and pee and act like stupid idiots.
That is what this is, a stupid little kid running around going "MY FRIENDS ARE BIG BAD JOB CREATORS! WHY WON'T YOU TAKE THE JOBS WE HAVE! WAAA!! WAAA!!"
little babies. stupid little brats.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#4I don't know that gender has much to do, necessarily, with the fact that it's hard to find a partner when your life consists of not doing much and watching reruns.
The guilt-shame-depression-guilt cycle is certainly reinforced in non-working men by indoctrination in a particular strain of patriarchal gender roles. Having a little voice in the back of your head constantly yelling at you for being a failure and "not really a man" can't be healthy.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#5I don't personally know any men in that age range who fit that description, but I can imagine that living in the middle of the country there are probably fewer jobs than people. I've heard people suggest that they just relocate to an area with more jobs, but it's very difficult for someone with little money (and many times, little education) to relocate to more densely populated areas.
As a whole, our society should not leave these people behind. It would be nice to see more education initiatives focused towards getting people fitting this description the training required to get them back in the workforce. Even if the country couldn't afford to subsidize this fully, maybe set up a plan that allowed them to pay 10-15% of their salary for a year or two like some coding boot camps do.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#6I've started some treatment recently, and for some reason I immediately started dating and looking for mates again. I quickly realized how difficult it is. You can't find women unless you have a job, while women have made outstanding progress in education and the workforce, and for some reason they have a hard time dating people who have a less comfortable situation than themselves. I don't want to ride the whole men…
I'm really not sure how having a job helps you find women; being trapped in a box segregated far away from them for most of the day just seems counter productive in that respect. You have the weekends but so does everyone else.
I really think something has changed about how people socialize and it's simply become harder to meet like minded people; It's harder to network professionally, it's harder to find fabricators, workers, mates etc. Fundamentally, that's the problem that needs to be solved.
EDIT: I've misinterpreted this.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#7I've started some treatment recently, and for some reason I immediately started dating and looking for mates again. I quickly realized how difficult it is. You can't find women unless you have a job, while women have made outstanding progress in education and the workforce, and for some reason they have a hard time dating people who have a less comfortable situation than themselves. I don't want to ride the whole men…
Your edit is right... your view on this is clearly heavy with your personal situation. But the bigger perspective is that for a relationship to work, both sides need to contribute. Whether the old-fashioned way where the man works while the wife take care of kids, or both work, or the wife works while the man take care of kids, or something completely different... the point is that both sides need to contribute. Take gender out of it, and then look again -- it is just two people, together. They both should add value to the relationship.
So lets look at a single person without a job in that context: On day one when two people meet, when both are single, if one of them doesn't have a job, it is a red flag that the person without a job might not be willing or able to contribute in the future. The relationship starts without a shared home, so just one person spending all the money. It isn't balanced.
So when you get down to it, it isn't a gender thing. It is a money thing.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#8I've started some treatment recently, and for some reason I immediately started dating and looking for mates again. I quickly realized how difficult it is. You can't find women unless you have a job, while women have made outstanding progress in education and the workforce, and for some reason they have a hard time dating people who have a less comfortable situation than themselves. I don't want to ride the whole men…
I'm really not sure how having a job helps you find women; being trapped in a box segregated far away from them for most of the day just seems counter productive in that respect. You have the weekends but so does everyone else. I really think something has changed about how people socialize and it's simply become harder to meet like minded people; It's harder to network professionally, it's harder to find fabricators…
You don't think having a job helps you when the person you are interested in is deciding whether they are interested back?
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#9I've started some treatment recently, and for some reason I immediately started dating and looking for mates again. I quickly realized how difficult it is. You can't find women unless you have a job, while women have made outstanding progress in education and the workforce, and for some reason they have a hard time dating people who have a less comfortable situation than themselves. I don't want to ride the whole men…
On the other hand, the traditional role of the man as the provider for the family causes some men anxiety if they can't fulfill that role, leading to family trouble. Either way, reducing equality in the work force is not the solution, but a fairer economy.
Re: Men not at work: Why so many men aged 25 to 54 are not working (2016)
#10"... or the wife works while the man take care of kids"
Then wifey starts seeing hubby as a sexless entity --- sort of like the son she never gave birth to --- and loses attraction for him.
"... it isn't a gender thing. It is a money thing"
Humans spent millennia as hunter-gatherers. Men hunted, women gathered. Men protected and provided, women nurtured the children. If women provide and protection is provided by the state, then men are useless. Birth rates fall. Religious people who live according to traditional gender roles then outbreed the atheists.