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40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

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Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#231

Post by humannature »

mtw wrote: post #39
beeftime wrote: post #31

Before I got into software development I worked for a South Korean company that helped high-level students get into American and Canadian universities. The single biggest source of stress for myself and the other westerners working there is that the administration's (and the parents'!) only goal was to get these kids into a school, and absolutely no thought was given to acclimating them to a different culture or teac…

I'd say many expat europeans or americans in Asia (Shangai, south korea) don't make any effort in making close native friends. Many of them prefer to hang out with people from their own country, or other western people. Only a few think about "acclimating to a different culture or learn new skills they would need to thrive in a very different educational system and social climate".

That's cause most of them have an Asian fetish. They don't really care about the culture or language, just the women. Don't believe me? Go to any bar in Asia and tell me what you see.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#232

Post by lazaroclapp »

coraphans wrote: post #220
kyle-rb wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>international students are cliquey I've noticed this at my college firsthand; I see groups or pairs of Chinese students speaking solely Chinese. Speaking in their native language isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it certainly makes them less approachable.

From my experience, these Chinese students probably did try at first to make friends with local Americans, but were made fun of because of their accents. So rather than be humiliated, they chose to just hang out with people who won't insult them.

I do wonder if they were making fun in a mean way or just poking fun in good nature. Of course, the person experiencing it is the one who can better tell, but it is often not obvious when lacking cultural context. One of my closest friends early on laughed at me because whenever I pronounced "vehicle" it sounded to him as "bagel", it did hurt my ego but I quickly got he meant nothing bad by it.

That said, if the American students were really making fun of the accent of Chinese students in a mean way, I can only assume they themselves never tried speaking any kind of Chinese. It is insanely difficult to get to "understandable" in a tonal language if your native language is not tonal, let alone "without funny accent".

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#233

Post by mikekchar »

wallace_f wrote: post #217
rootsudo wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have to disagree on: "A very obvious example is that alcohol is a large part of Western, and now, some Eastern cultures; but people whose religion and culture strictly abhores it will have a harder time being happy among a group of Western friends." Alcohol was always big in Eastern cultures. It's just not dominated because it is always considered an old people thing, not what young people do.

>It's just not dominated because it is always considered an old people thing, not what young people do Yes, well that's true, but now it's part of youth culture so I think we're actually in agreement on that. However, what I'm not sure about is South East Asia..? I believe in places such as the Phillipines, drinking culture was largely introduced by the West, but I'm not sure about that.

I think it really depends on what period of history you are talking about and also what you mean by "West". The Philippines is, of course, currently dominated by the Roman Catholic religion, but in pre-hispanic days there were local animist religions. I don't actually know that much about Philippine history, but every other culture in the area had a rich tradition of alcoholic drinks. These days there are a lot of countries where drinking is frowned upon, but these are mostly Islamic countries. Before the countries became Islamic, the indiginous cultures very certainly drank a lot.

Now the question is whether the idea that drinking alcohol is a bad idea is a Western idea or an Eastern idea really depends on where you think the middle east is. But the far east has historically been quite keen on drinking.

Even though Buddhism does not really look at drinking as a great thing, I can't think of any officially Buddhist country that banned drinking. Japan was Buddhist for hundreds of years and even banned eating meat (though I don't think it was widely observed). But drinking remained a big part of the culture.

So my impression is quite the opposite of yours. SE Asia has historically been quite fond of drinking alcohol, but has seen prohibition relatively recently. That prohibition has mostly come out of the middle eastern cultures moving east, rather than the other way around.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#234

Post by geezer »

If foreign students want to make American friends, they should be prepared to feel uncomfortable and also be willing to make others uncomfortable.

There is no easy way. You have to separate yourself from your comfort zone. That includes others from your home country as well as other international students. Live with an American roommate, go to every (American) party you are invited to. Say no to every (non-American) party you are invited to. Find an American gf/bf or keep trying. Join volunteering activities (food drives, blood drives, salvation army etc) to meet locals.

In a couple of years, you would have made yourself deeply uncomfortable on many occasions, annoyed some people, but by now you'll be talking and walking like an American.

This applies in general to immigrants who tend to huddle together because it is the easier thing to do. That is why in most cases, cultural assimilation takes atleast a generation.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#235

Post by showtimes »

wizardforhire wrote: post #131
mediocrejoker wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you say that the greek system was hostile to foreign students, more so than the regular social experience of college?

Well I'm speaking from experience and this in no way will apply across all schools or groups. As such I know of some great organizations which have great missions and members and do great work. That said at this particular university which was largely greek, the largest fraternities and sororities were the largest offenders of indoctrinated and systemic racism which had subsequently seeped into the school culture and…

What part of the country was this? I find this hard to believe on the west coast or parts of the east coast (NYE/Boston). If you're talking the South or midwest then ok it makes sense.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#236

Post by vinay427 »

int_19h wrote: post #192
gukov wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

American society is as good as it gets when it comes to inclusion. No other country, except maybe for Canada, had to deal with multiculturalism as much. Humans are complicated social creatures by nature. There will always be cliques, competitiveness, the us against them mentality, etc. It's who we are. It's what got us here.

> No other country, except maybe for Canada, had to deal with multiculturalism as much. There is a Christian majority country in the world that also has a ~15% Muslim minority, and it's not even particularly geographically confined. It's not US or Canada. Curiously, it's also not a particularly inclusive country. Which just goes to show that multiculturalism doesn't necessarily translate to inclusiveness - it can als…

I'm going to guess France, which has around that percentage of Muslims and is certainly not geographically confined.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#237

Post by chrisper »

pm90 wrote: post #7

As a former international student, the first year was incredibly lonely as I used to be a deep introvert. The article mentions some of the obstacles but perhaps one of biggest ones is being able to communicate well with Americans. I used to be incredibly anxious about buying groceries simply because I talked very fast English with a heavy accent. I could talk but not communicate ; which means that I could convey fact…

When I came to the US as an international student, I was basically invited to some event by the local church that they hold for all new international students. It was like a booster board to make new friends. It was incredibly helpful. Though I eventually stopped going since I am not religious and just make my own friends elsewhere over time.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#239

Post by wallace_f »

mikekchar wrote: post #233
wallace_f wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It's just not dominated because it is always considered an old people thing, not what young people do Yes, well that's true, but now it's part of youth culture so I think we're actually in agreement on that. However, what I'm not sure about is South East Asia..? I believe in places such as the Phillipines, drinking culture was largely introduced by the West, but I'm not sure about that.

I think it really depends on what period of history you are talking about and also what you mean by "West". The Philippines is, of course, currently dominated by the Roman Catholic religion, but in pre-hispanic days there were local animist religions. I don't actually know that much about Philippine history, but every other culture in the area had a rich tradition of alcoholic drinks. These days there are a lot of co…

Good points. I should edit the 'and now' detail out of my comment to avoid ambiguity, but it's not possible anymore.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#240

Post by int_19h »

kahnpro wrote: post #206
int_19h wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No other country, except maybe for Canada, had to deal with multiculturalism as much. There is a Christian majority country in the world that also has a ~15% Muslim minority, and it's not even particularly geographically confined. It's not US or Canada. Curiously, it's also not a particularly inclusive country. Which just goes to show that multiculturalism doesn't necessarily translate to inclusiveness - it can als…

Sounds like Russia?

Yep, it's Russia.

(Well, and possibly others - that's just the one that I know of, there may well be others.)

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