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40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

qz.com

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Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#61

Post by wizardforhire »

Fwiw 10 years ago I was organizing weekly dance parties in a college town. 80% of our attendance was foreign students. Nightly I would have kids from all over the world profusiosly thanking me. The bulk of the complements were in one way another "thank you so much for putting this on I feel like I'm home. I don't get American culture but I get this." 10 years later I still have people coming up to me randomly thanking me saying they've stuck around because of friends they made.

In my limited experience I feel there's a real cultural mis-match with kids from other countries coming here to study. Most of the kids I met were from huge cities and the shock of being in a small college town was in many was too much for them. That and the greek system was overtly hostile to them.

On side a note it's humorous what many kids take back with them from their time in America. It's worth doing an image search of "American party" to see what I mean.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#62

Post by duckehlabs »

When I was in school, international students had a week prior to orientation with their own orientation. They formed friend groups from this orientation, so it's not too surprising that they would stick to those friend groups rather than then branching out to the people they have less in common with the following weeks.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#63

Post by senthil_rajasek »

TorKlingberg wrote: post #26
Bartweiss wrote: post #16

People should know the Quartz headline is wrong. Follow the source link and you find that 40% have no close American friends, which is different from "friends on campus". I checked the source looking for a baseline (how many domestic students have no close friends) and discovered that it was specifically about international students making friends with Americans. > "Nearly 40 percent of the survey respondents had no…

This completely invalidates the headline! Go study in Japan or anywhere, and you will see that foreign students mostly hang out with each other. Certainly their close friends will be fellow foreign students. This is mostly because local students already have an established friend group. Besides, many are on short exchange programmes. How close friends can you really become during a 1-2 year exchange? How many of thos…

"Go study in Japan or anywhere, and you will see that foreign students mostly hang out with each other."

That is not a right comparison. The U.S is not Japan.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#64

Post by [deleted] »

TorKlingberg wrote: post #48
Symbiote wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is mostly because local students already have an established friend group. I don't think that's correct, at least outside small countries. I certainly didn't find it unusual when all my school friends went to different universities. Two others from my school were at the same place I was, but they weren't friends of mine. My university was in London, and had a very large proportion of foreign students. Many of…

I was thinking of students who go abroad after a couple of years. I suppose in the US and UK it is more common for foreign students to start from the beginning with the locals. As for socializing with people from your own country vs. locals and others, I observed two factors: 1) If you are from a big country, it's easier to stay with your own countrymen. If you are from Belgium or something, you have to find friends…

[deleted]

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#65

Post by bookbinder »

pm90 wrote: post #7

As a former international student, the first year was incredibly lonely as I used to be a deep introvert. The article mentions some of the obstacles but perhaps one of biggest ones is being able to communicate well with Americans. I used to be incredibly anxious about buying groceries simply because I talked very fast English with a heavy accent. I could talk but not communicate ; which means that I could convey fact…

> I didn't understand American sarcasm and would be alarmed by some of the things Americans said.

Whoah. You just blew my mind. I didn't realize things like jokes and sarcasm could be a barrier for someone who technically understands otherwise understands English.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#66

Post by dagw »

I wonder if they tried to normalise how different people and different cultures define what is meant by "close friends". I mean I'd probably say that I've made maybe 4 close friends in my entire life (5 if you count my wife), half of which I've lost contact with, without ever really feeling I'm lacking friends, acquaintances and people to hang out with.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#67

Post by senthil_rajasek »

hocuspocus wrote: post #49
mtw wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say many expat europeans or americans in Asia (Shangai, south korea) don't make any effort in making close native friends. Many of them prefer to hang out with people from their own country, or other western people. Only a few think about "acclimating to a different culture or learn new skills they would need to thrive in a very different educational system and social climate".

I lived 5 years in South Korea, and well: * It was incredibly easy to meet other foreigners, and not necessarily westerners, far from that actually. I now have genuine friends on every continent. * Since you're on the same boat, you can relate. Given how unique the work and life environment can be, it's nice to be able to talk with people who'll understand you. * Making native friends isn't easy, even when you're mak…

Comparing East Asian cultures to U.S culture is not a proper comparison.

Remember the U.S is a nation of immigrants.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#68

Post by [deleted] »

wizardforhire wrote: post #61

Fwiw 10 years ago I was organizing weekly dance parties in a college town. 80% of our attendance was foreign students. Nightly I would have kids from all over the world profusiosly thanking me. The bulk of the complements were in one way another "thank you so much for putting this on I feel like I'm home. I don't get American culture but I get this." 10 years later I still have people coming up to me randomly thankin…

[deleted]

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#69

Post by ashwinaj »

What does close friends mean? A lot of relationships in the US are based on "activity" partners[0]. Someone to go out with, sharing a same hobby, passions etc. Close friends in other countries means a lot more than just activity partners.

I had the same experience in grad school, I only had "activity" partners, than what I would call close friendships with Americans. It always felt "distant". It's sadly true even today.

[0] I couldn't find the relevant article that discussed about this, specifically in the American context.

Re: 40% of foreign students in the US have no close American friends on campus

#70

Post by navs »

bookbinder wrote: post #65
pm90 wrote: post #7

As a former international student, the first year was incredibly lonely as I used to be a deep introvert. The article mentions some of the obstacles but perhaps one of biggest ones is being able to communicate well with Americans. I used to be incredibly anxious about buying groceries simply because I talked very fast English with a heavy accent. I could talk but not communicate ; which means that I could convey fact…

> I didn't understand American sarcasm and would be alarmed by some of the things Americans said. Whoah. You just blew my mind. I didn't realize things like jokes and sarcasm could be a barrier for someone who technically understands otherwise understands English.

From the other side of the spectrum, while not American but being raised American, I have a sense of humor that's strongly sarcastic. It alienates me from non-native english speakers in my workplace.
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