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A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

boston.com

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Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#31

Post by manacit »

This is interesting, but not altogether surprising.

As an urban 20-something, my parents helped me my covering the lion's share of my college costs. Once that was over, it was an unspoken agreement that I was completely on my own. Fortunately, I graduated with a job offer in hand as a SWE in the city of my choice, but that is far from the norm for the graduating classes in many majors.

If anything, I find the provided numbers feel too low - $250 a month in many metro areas is unlikely to be 'make it or break it' numbers (by my estimation). It's more that their parents are subsidizing a lifestyle in those urban areas.

At any rate, it's hard to blame people for getting help from their parents, though I can't say I would be excited to do so for my kids after a certain age (though, of course, I don't have any).

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#32

Post by ClassyJacket »

johnchristopher wrote: post #2

Been there. As one of the 20-something whose parents didn't help with the rent. Two consequences: - really tough discussions with some friends and acquaintances once I realised their parents heavily subsidized their way of life while they were putting the social persona of young working adult being independent and nagging me about when I was going to buy my first car or why I was always the one who made it through th…

"grimmer prospects in relationships (partly cost me the love of my life) "

I'm sorry for that. I can sympathize slightly. Rich people really don't get it.

Yeah. Me last week on the way to a strip club: 'Who's paying for this taxi? Are we going far? Do we have to pay to get in?'

Fried (girl I ALMOST dated): 'Oh my god you're SO cheap, you're such a killjoy, just stop worrying about the money blah blah blah.'

Yeah, I probably should've relaxed and been more sociable. But it's easy for them to say that stuff, when their parents pay for their 400$ a week apartment in the city. Meanwhile my parents in their 60s struggle to figure out how they can ever retire without starving. Plus there's the 3+ hours a day lost to travel and the inconvenience of sharing a house with someone else.

I'm not poor, I was born in a first world country and am very lucky. But people whose parents pay for their housing don't get how easy they have it even above people like me. I could start working full time and get a nice apartment close to the city no problem. But then I won't be saving any money, won't be going back to university and doing a PhD, won't be starting my own business, and won't be helping my parents retire.

I could continue to work less and try to start my own business, which is what I've chosen. But this way I don't get my apartment in the city and can't blow money on taxis and strip clubs and cocktails all the time. I can't even get my car fixed right now.

My housemate is a smart and capable person with a pilot's licence, but after trying to get into a pathway to a good job for years (you need more than just the licence), started working full time in a warehouse to make ends meet. I've seen how he feels after work every day, he's not happy. I don't want to stall my life any longer.

I try to remember that at least I'm not starving in Africa, and I don't blame my lack of a girlfriend or better friendships on money. But you can be socially impaired by having to pay rent, and it does suck when those little things happen.

Seriously, screw Melbourne house prices and screw the politicians and lazy rich leeches that made it this way.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#33

Post by seibelj »

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #11

As a tenant in one property in Boston who receives no help from his parents, I deeply resent the ease with which you attained wealth by just renting out ever-rising Bostonian housing.

Translation: "It's not fair that you own property and I don't, and that I have to pay market rates. I want the government to force you to make me pay less, or seize more of what you earn."

My rebuttal: Buy your own property if you don't like it, or move some place else.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#34

Post by istorical »

grx wrote: post #3

Is this an American thing? It's pretty common in Germany, but I remember that foreigners often see us as the 'renters'-country (meaning the majority rents instead of owning a property), so there might be a difference. Just wondering why this seems an increasing thing in your cities. It's also no big secret that parents often support their children far beyond the school time if they are not able to apply for student l…

It's a thing because it signifies the decline of American purchasing power. If we used to all be able to afford to pay our own rent, but now we can't and are relying on our parents, it's a sign that young people's purchasing power is going down. In the same vein of young Americans feeling distraught that their parents could pay off college loans working a summer job mowing lawns, or that they could afford to put down a down payment on a house by age 30. Young Americans feel like they can't measure up to their older generations financially. Salaries may be trending up numerically, but adjusted to inflation and cost of living increases it feels like we're stagnating or moving backwards.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#35

Post by blurbleblurble »

This makes me think hard about universal basic income. If average incomes went up, how long would it take for those with monopolies on basic needs to raise the prices? Not long, I'm sure. Unless rentier capitalism is somehow cut out of the picture, if the government provided $10,000/yr, then $10,000/yr could very quickly become the new "poverty". If banks (via landlords' debts) are squeezing people now, whats stopping them from taking peoples' basic income too?

Don't get me wrong, I recognize the need for something like basic income, but rentier capitalism is suffocating peoples lives right now, and I have a hard time seeing how universal basic income is going to stop that.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#36

Post by grx »

johnchristopher wrote: post #21
grx wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why didn't they help?

Well.. You edited the question before I could see it so now you got me curious :). Feel free to shoot, this is the internet and a semi-anonymous persona.

Thanks for your reply, I re-edited it back. I'm just curious if it was a personal decision of your parents or if the circumstances were the reason, sorry if this is too personal!

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#37

Post by nosuchthing »

cblock811 wrote: post #19
eli_gottlieb wrote: post #11

As a tenant in one property in Boston who receives no help from his parents, I deeply resent the ease with which you attained wealth by just renting out ever-rising Bostonian housing.

Renting out properties is a huge hassle. My family spent a lot of time in real estate and I got to hear the headaches (which is why I didn't follow in their footsteps). Frankly, I'm pretty sure you're just being bitter and aren't helping the conversation.

Property maintenance doesn't seem to add much value, nor take much time. This is why many real estate owners just pay property managers (who manage several locations) to address the occasional maintenance and repairs to be done.

Most of the value is directly related to the limited supply. San Francisco and the Bay Area is a perfect example, where ancient dilapidated rooms are rented out for prices more than quadruple that of other cities.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#38

Post by mwfunk »

seibelj wrote: post #33
eli_gottlieb wrote: post #11

As a tenant in one property in Boston who receives no help from his parents, I deeply resent the ease with which you attained wealth by just renting out ever-rising Bostonian housing.

Translation: "It's not fair that you own property and I don't, and that I have to pay market rates. I want the government to force you to make me pay less, or seize more of what you earn." My rebuttal: Buy your own property if you don't like it, or move some place else.

You just made up a strawman and argued against it. It doesn't do anyone any good to imagine the dumbest reason someone might hold a particular opinion. If you must extrapolate someone's motivations, then try to come up with the most rational reason they might feel that way. It's still extrapolating, but will likely be much closer to the truth.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#39

Post by thatfunkymunki »

dehugger wrote: post #13
grx wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why didn't they help?

Many parents (mine included) say "if you aren't in school pay your own way". Once you are out of school, regardless if your wage is still barely above minimum, you are on your own.

I faced a similar fate- after I didn't finish college, I joined the Air Force and have been 100% financially independent since.

Re: A secret of many urban 20-somethings: Their parents help with the rent

#40

Post by nosuchthing »

seibelj wrote: post #33
eli_gottlieb wrote: post #11

As a tenant in one property in Boston who receives no help from his parents, I deeply resent the ease with which you attained wealth by just renting out ever-rising Bostonian housing.

Translation: "It's not fair that you own property and I don't, and that I have to pay market rates. I want the government to force you to make me pay less, or seize more of what you earn." My rebuttal: Buy your own property if you don't like it, or move some place else.

Simply increasing the supply and reducing zoning restrictions and red tape would be sufficient to appease prospective home owners and reluctant renters.
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