CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf] • Hacker News Board

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#101

Post by qrybam » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:16 AM UTC

hadfgdasf wrote: post #66

te_platt wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So I had the page translated to English. I think the jokes might be funnier in Russian. Still there is something funny in knowing there is a joke in there ... somewhere.

Here's one that seems to survive, with a little bit of humor intact: Most of the women claims that there is nothing more painful birth! But what hit the balls ?! After the woman said for some time: "Why not give birth to another baby ?!" Have you ever met the guy who says, "Well, embedding-ka me in the balls still a time ?!" Orig: Большинство женщин утверждает, что нет ничего больнее родов! А как же удар по яйцам?! С…

Will try to retain some of the original colour:

"Most women insist there is nothing more painful than childbirth... but what about being kicked in the nuts?!

So a wife asks her husband: what do you say, why not have another child? (ed: the direct translation is - why not give birth to another child)

The husband responds: ah well, why not kick me in the nuts one more time?"

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#102

Post by rbanffy » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:19 AM UTC

My mom leaked many of these secret jokes to me when I was a kid.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#103

Post by foota » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:21 AM UTC

zokat wrote: post #70

I like this one: Russian engineer got fed up of having all responsibility and low salary, so he moves to another city and pretends to be an ordinary worker, same salary and peace of mind. However, not long after communist party sends him to evening classes. On his first day there at maths class he was asked about circle circumference formula, but for some reason he could not remember it off hand, so he goes on blackb…

I feel stupid asking, but what's the joke? I get that flipping the direction of integration would negate the result.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#104

Post by sAbakumoff » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:22 AM UTC

pandaman wrote: post #92

eps wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Except, of course, it wasn't a colonel, but a Chukcha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_jokes#Chukchi

It is almost the same and easier to understand for non-Russians.

I think that a Chukchi could be more intelligent than USSR army colonel :)

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#105

Post by pgtan » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:23 AM UTC

here is a bulgarian one: electricity and water meet in a typical socialist apartment building. Sorry, I'm here only up to the second floor, says the water. No need to excuse, says the electricity, I'm here only for two hours.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#106

Post by koliber » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:23 AM UTC

foota wrote: post #103

zokat wrote: post #70

I like this one: Russian engineer got fed up of having all responsibility and low salary, so he moves to another city and pretends to be an ordinary worker, same salary and peace of mind. However, not long after communist party sends him to evening classes. On his first day there at maths class he was asked about circle circumference formula, but for some reason he could not remember it off hand, so he goes on blackb…

I feel stupid asking, but what's the joke? I get that flipping the direction of integration would negate the result.

The joke is that the entire class was made up of brilliant engineers who acted dumb and were sent to a basic math class for educating.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#107

Post by foota » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:27 AM UTC

koliber wrote: post #106

foota wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel stupid asking, but what's the joke? I get that flipping the direction of integration would negate the result.

The joke is that the entire class was made up of brilliant engineers who acted dumb and were sent to a basic math class for educating.

That is funny, thank you.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#108

Post by koliber » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:29 AM UTC

eschutte2 wrote: post #93

llukas wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You would if you lived in a country where merchandise was available infrequently. Stores often were empty of any wares - so fish store is empty of fish and meat store is empty of meat. ;)

Thanks. "No, this is the empty fish shop. The empty meat shop is across the street."

Right on.

There is another level of nuance in the joke though. You need to have had spent some time in a Eastern European country. Everyone is a stickler for rules, details, and knowing the "correct" answer, even if in practice, in a given situation, it makes no difference at all.

This joke brings out that quality very nicely.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#109

Post by Singletoned » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:42 AM UTC

foota wrote: post #107

koliber wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The joke is that the entire class was made up of brilliant engineers who acted dumb and were sent to a basic math class for educating.

That is funny, thank you.

And that is the funniest thing I've read for a long time.

Re: CIA Declassified Coldwar Russian Jokes [pdf]

#110

Post by lazaroclapp » Tue, Feb 07, 2017, 8:42 AM UTC

gcb0 wrote: post #84

leephillips wrote: post #8

These jokes aren't bad. What is the story? Are these genuine Russian jokes, or jokes inserted there by the CIA?

The question is why jokes were classified!

It is the CIA. That's not the question. The question is what they considered "need to know" cause for these...