I can relate to this, though my situation is a little weirder than most. My parents were immigrants and we were very poor when I was younger. They became doctors sometime around middle school, so we effectively shifted up to upper-middle class. Our quality of life changed in a few ways - didn't have to think about the cost of healthcare or school. But we also didn't start buying fancy clothes, cars, or food. My paren…
Idk, from my Ivy league experience many of them are in fact completely different from you. Many of them are not, but many are. "Oh we're all the same" is too much of a generalization. I'll jog my memory a bit, although many are extreme data points that still come to mind years after...
I had a friend (guy) who would enjoy sitting and making fun of people for the way they dressed, which was usually just them looking poor or working class. To me that was new, the idea that some guys at 18, 19, 20 spend a lot on clothes and snark at the way other guys dress.
I had another friend who would invite a huge group of us to VIP bottle service at a club every so often, dropping maybe 4, 5, 6 thousand on a Saturday, but then would occasionally point at someone, usually someone he didn't like, and say "Hey - why don't you chip in" and put them on the hook for 800 dollars.
I remember staring in disbelief when I learned some guy in my building would order in sushi in the mornings to his room instead of going to the dining hall. (Of course, dropping $35 on a Postmates delivery for one is not unusual for tech workers in SF today, but at 18/19, and many years before Postmates, it felt like they were living on another planet). Another would just take off to Tokyo for a weekend if he felt like he 'needed a break', and other students, usually rich girls, would fawn over how "deep" he must be, his feeling the need to fly off to Tokyo, etc.. Someone else in that building also installed a stripper pole in his room, and not surprisingly a lot of girls who were attracted to his levels of "richness" and "lifestyle" actually went over to indulge him.
They formed their own "fraternities" although some were kicked off campus because, of course, cocaine. (Cocaine and richness is another topic). Additionally one of the super rich guy frats was one that had the roofie reputation. Another had the asshole reputation. I just remember going to one of their parties for 'rush' freshmen year and basically getting laughed at for the cheap suit I was wearing.
That all said, of course there were many jovial, standup guys from rich families who try to relate to everyone, who maintain an ironic distance from their "richness"... but my Ivy experience (which was maybe more unique to this particular Ivy), which I enjoyed very much, still exposed me to a lot of guys I could never relate to nor would want to.