Earlier quoted context omitted.
If there is no room for syncing up and every issue is to be taken offline, one should question if it makes sense the stand ups should be kept in sync. In my team we do standups asynchronously over Slack, it's a great and non obtrusive way of updating each other and we achieve the same thing.
It's not the same. The standup performs an important social function of making everyone involved in the work of the team. People have to face each other, feel accountable to, and feel supported by the group. And of course there's no room for synching up: The morning standup is meant to facilitate those synch-up meetings, synch-ups that don't have to involve everyone.
This is a fantastic description. And it goes a long way towards explaining why standup (even if I'm not directly involved) leave me feeling so uncomfortable.