I'm not surprised sales are weak: the regular iPhone 7 seems to offer few improvements over the 6s or 6, with only the 7+'s camera being a really notable differentiator.
Better camera, better screen, faster, waterproof, more ram, Taptic Engine, nicer finish options, more durable home button, and on and on. It's a better phone in almost every measurable way.
There's also that time that it was 2pm and I still hadn't had lunch. I ended a Hangouts call, yanked my headphones out of my mbp, cruised over to the elevator, and excitedly made my way to Eataly for a prime rib sandwich. Sat down with my sandy, pulled 1/8" jack toward base of phone… Eph again!
The experiences that end in me loathing Apple are building slowly and steadily.