The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
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The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
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Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#2As a young widower myself, I can relate to many of the emotions and grief expressed in the article.
It's actually no surprise that I ended up meeting, connecting with, and eventually marrying someone who was widowed in her 30s. From the day we met, on the loss of a spouse (to cancer in both cases), we understood each other on a level that others could not.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#3It's no easier to lose a spouse when you're older. One thing is if you have a grieving kid it is harder to get stuck in a hole because you're forced to get up, help your kid with his grief, and keep food on the table. Astonishingly, the dog and cat make a huge difference too
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#4Lost my wife seven years ago suddenly at the age of 34 [1].
My first relationship after her passing was with someone who herself had become widowed a couple of years before. We'd started out as friends, but ended up dating for about three months.
It was incredibly healing for both of us to be able to tell stories about those who had passed, without someone going "WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DEAD SPOUSE?"
She's still one of my best friends, seven years later.
[1] http://ask.metafilter.com/125445/How-do-you-deal-with-the-un...
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#5I've had to post this using a throwaway as I've had to hide this from my employer who only hangs onto me as they don't know the magnitude of the problems we are facing. They think it's a temporary dip in health.
That was throughly depressing and a little too close to home at the moment for me. I can't work out if it's better to burn out in 42 days or live for 7-10 years with a crippling immune disorder and constant care requirement which is what my wife faces.
In the space of a week you don't see a difference. In the space of a year, you realise the change. 2016 disappeared in a flash. We did nothing due to hospital appointments and illness. I have to work to pay the bills. You can't live on nothing. So it's work, care, work, care. She declines. We never get to live.
At the end we're left with nothing.
I implore anyone to enjoy life as soon as possible. Don't save it for a rainy day. It might never rain. We saved and planned and never got to fulfill our plans.
And I can't live without her.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#6I had to read it in two times as I started crying uncontrollably half way through, powerful writing.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#7It's no easier to lose a spouse when you're older. One thing is if you have a grieving kid it is harder to get stuck in a hole because you're forced to get up, help your kid with his grief, and keep food on the table. Astonishingly, the dog and cat make a huge difference too
This. I had no choice but to keep going, even if it was just for my cats.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#8Once thing that is difficult is to ever consider is being one with someone else. You find pretty, like, lust, but there's a chair that is still filled.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#9My sister-in-law is going through this right now. Her husband passed away a little over a year ago.
So much of this resonates with her own experience and what she's told me... it's as if the article was written by her.
Re: The widowhood effect: What it’s like to lose a spouse in your 30s
#10I had to read it in two times as I started crying uncontrollably half way through, powerful writing.
You're not alone there, one of the most difficult things I've read this year.