Ask HN: Does anyone else have (or had) problems in dating or getting married?

I know this is not a dating/pua discussion forum; but I am similar to most people here. I am if anyone else here also suffering from dating dilemma. I am SE asian and live in Seattle. I am 31 and have no friend so far here in Seattle. Weather is so depressing that I have not seen the Sun in last 30 days.

I am not a very good looking guy. I go to the gym at least 3 times a week. I am not overweight as well. Only strike against me is my premature baldness. I personally don't think it is such a big deal now. However, when I was in SF, it was a big deal for most of the women.

Where do you meet women if you don't have social circle? I am on tinder and CMB, very rarely I get matched with someone. Chances of a serious relationship are almost zero with girls on tinder and CMB.

Do you have any suggestions?

Aerial acrobatics is your best bet. Always populated by women dying to meet a fit guy (or who will become fit via said hobby).

I've had good luck meeting nice people with Match. It's not as much of a meat market as Tinder. In my area, at least, it tends to have a lot of professional people that are looking to date more-or-less seriously, but have busy schedules that make meeting people organically difficult.

Yes, I do have suggestions. A couple of conditions:

- Not thinking about it as a thing someone does. - Not limiting oneself to places they judge to be the places to do that non thing (I don't know why people think it has to be in bar, club, gym.)

There's an enormous pressure on people that makes them do sad things. Going to meetups and "trying to make friends" is a bit sad because the premise is depressing.

You can meet people everywhere. Street, café, bus, beach, etc.

Here's a great way: have a standard reaction to someone looking at you. Warm smile (no need to show teeth, even), and a light "hi". Nothing fancy.

With anyone who looks at you long enough (old lady, big dude, police officer).

This prevents you from thinking of coming up with something to say, and trying to come up with something to say is what gets most people in trouble. It is also positive to the other person, simple. It is what you do with people you know.

The important thing here isn't really the reaction of the others. Some will ignore you. Some will think you're strange. Maybe they're having a bad day.

You will get in a lot of conversations with a lot of people in different situations. It takes the pressure out to "find friends" at meetups/bars/gyms at specific times because you can talk with anyone you want.

Try Tango. I have a couple women friends who are absolutely obsessed with it and there are meetings all over the world. I think they are always looking for new partners and men are probably in short supply.