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Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bad: as in mostly for rent & food, forget about savings. Details (if it matters): Country: France Yearly salary before taxes : ~31000 euros

Wow that is bad.

Definitely NOT bad for France. I'm french and started at 18000 yearly.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#43
>i got laughed at and was asked to find a job and stop being spoiled and lazy.

And they're right. According to the comments you're living in France. You got offers around 30k. I started at 18k. Such is life-- your first couple of jobs will probably be shitty. That's how it is. And it's good because you'll realize that you're not as good as you think and that there is many flavors of everything out there.

You'll adapt, learn, grow, and your salary will follow, as your experience.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#44
First

Don't give up the job hunt Unemployment is devastating You are not alone

Maybe there are other things in your life outside your CV and job situation you should address.

Definitely shower daily and lift heavy weights often.

I would recommend posting to /r/getmotivated and /r/therepill for further advice

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#46

OK, Tough love time. You are probably not that good. And that's totally fine. You are not your work, and you shouldn't define yourself by your job alone. You are a multifaceted human, complete with all the inherent complexity. You're still young - you need to get some experience under your belt. That means spending 1 or 2 years at a couple of middle of the road jobs. Unless the role is clearly really poor, then you s…

> I agree with your family, stop being spoilt and lazy.

That's not love, tough or otherwise—it's presumptuous and invasive. When talking with a suffering person, the first thing to avoid doing is retraumatizing them. What you did was take this person's experience of reaching out for support from loved ones and being rejected—which was painful enough to mention to strangers on a message board—and replay it back at them with an endorsement. Not cool.

You and some other commenters may be right that there are things the OP can do, or is already doing, which affect the situation for better or worse. But when someone is depressed or even just stuck, how you deliver that information matters more than the information itself. You might say that's the real information.

Please don't create throwaway accounts to break (or skirt) HN's civility rule. Unlike the OP's, that is an abuse of throwaways and will eventually get your main account banned too.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#48
Op here:

Thank you everyone for your input and over all support! This kind of support -and even "tough love"- reminds me why I love being a member of this community.

You're right, reading about people changing the world, and SF salaries with my school bubble distorted my vision.

I will send an email to the company that said will wait for me, and continue to apply elsewhere and accept the first decent offer (where I can get experience with a compensation that would let me pay for rent and food).

I will also try to do some self-help using the materials shared here and try to fight off the dark feelings.

I will also probably tap into my savings and move back to the city where I used to live ASAP.

Thank you again all for your support. I know it is not resolved, but at least now I know what I need to do.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#49
post #4

1. Take a shower, brush your teeth, make your bed, and get dressed for work every weekday. Including shoes. 2. Spend the first 4 hours of every workday doing your best to get a job. 3. Profit. You're in no position to be picky right now. Get a job and get the hell out of your parents' house. Do not chase teh shiny. There is no such thing as a "not-that-interesting tech stack" -- some of the best gigs are writing bori…

Best advice in the thread. Take it, OP.

Pick one of those jobs, perhaps one close to where you live, and crush it.

Use the role to learn and the extra time from being on top of your game in work (and close to home) to scope out a better job.

Discipline is a like a muscle. With so much potential ahead of you, do not let it atrophy.

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