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Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#11
post #3

My very brief 2 cents: Exercise. It's clinically proven to help combat depression. Also, don't worry so much about compensation so early in your career. Experience is worth much more than $ to you at this stage.

Thanks for your response. I think that exercise would be a good start, so I'll check the local gyms, it would also give me something to occupy me during the days. About compensation, every piece of advice I got so far was about properly negotiating the first because it does not grow that fast (in Europe).

Not if you stay at the same job, but the days of working at one place for years and years being the norm are over.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#12
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. And frankly, you should be very proud of yourself. Want to know why?

Writing this demonstrates something very important about your character. When you feel backed into a corner, you don't just hide away and hope that the situation passes. Instead, you fight to get yourself out of the situation. This is huge and frankly, this trait will serve you well in the future.

Other people have given you some wonderful, actionable advice and I don't want to repeat their words, so I'll cut it off there. But seriously, be proud of yourself.

Everything will work out and you will be okay. If you feel stuck, my email address is in my profile - reach out and I'll help you however I can.

Be safe.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#14
See a doctor. It's an illness like any other, and drugs will help treat it. If the first med you try doesn't work, try another. Different things work for different people.

Some people close to you won't understand at first. That's ok. Their only people, and it's hard for them to have sympathy for an illness they cant physically see.

Do at least 1 productive thing everyday. Congratulate yourself for it.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#16
It seems reasonable that you are suffering some form of depression, even if it is transitory in nature. Good part is that makes you human and no better or worse then anyone else.

Just my 2 cents, but this is part of what becoming independent is all about, you have to make decisions based on the information you have and not focus on the next great thing all the time, nor allow yourself to be insulated in your thoughts so much. Your reality should be, if you received offers all around the same rough compensation, then that is likely the going rate for a new grad with your skill set and presentation in the areas you applied. Accept the best one with the team you feel you fit best with (that is more important then raw compensation) and move forward. You can always change later as you gain some experience. Don't wait for the perfect solution right now, move forward and change if you need to later.

You are still really fresh out of school so you can still accept a reasonable offer and the faster you start contributing to a team the faster you will feel better. Get focused, get organized and accept your reality so that you can change it. I don't care what your reality is, it is always changeable by you. Other people can help, but in the end you are the only one that can act to change your circumstance.

If you need to go see someone to talk through how you feel, do it, don't hesitate. There are too many people afraid to seek out help, go do it, celebrate that you are enlightened enough to recognize it and get the little extra guidance. Most of the time it is that simple, talking it out with someone who has empathy but can help lead you on a path to pull yourself up. You don't sound like you are in a bad situation, just not where you thought you'd be, so it is far easier to fix today then 3, 6, 9 months from now if you do nothing.

Take care, good luck.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#17
You definitely sound spoiled. You turned down several offers because they didn't reflect how highly a company should think of you? It's a job. You're compensated for your time, not how big your ego is.

Suck it up and go be a worker bee. We all do it.

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#19

It seems reasonable that you are suffering some form of depression, even if it is transitory in nature. Good part is that makes you human and no better or worse then anyone else. Just my 2 cents, but this is part of what becoming independent is all about, you have to make decisions based on the information you have and not focus on the next great thing all the time, nor allow yourself to be insulated in your thoughts…

There is a company that told me that they're still interested in me if I ever change my mind.

The job is basically building a news-web application for a client (hardly solving world hunger or any "real" problem) and the pay will be mostly enough to rent and eat.

Do you really think I should just "suck it up" and do it until something better comes in a few years?

Or should I keep sending emails?

Re: Ask HN: I'm depressed, what should I do?

#20

I'm sure I'll get down voted but I'm putting in my anecdotal two cents, regardless. Are you having sex? Sex is a pretty good remedy for this type of stuff.

I know what you're talking about.

And no, not since I moved back with my parents

(I hardly know anyone in the city anymore and I haven't been feeling like going to meet people ever since I did, since I always thought of this as temporary and I would be leaving anytime)

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