No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
theatlantic.com
No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
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Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#2Positive reinforcement is hardly "radical".
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#3It's thought to be very adaptive from an evolutionary standpoint. If you have a partner, significant other, or a child, if they do 10 nice things, that 11th one that you didn't like, you're going to really be all over.
One wonders how, if it doesn't work, it was so adaptive.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#4"Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. Having real choice is not the issue, humans don't feel too strongly about that, but having the feeling that you have a choice makes a difference.
This was the main take away for me. It seems like it might be useful for managing employees / colleagues too.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#5> Let’s say you have an adolescent daughter and she says to you, “Mom, you are such a bitch. What have you ever done for me? You only think of yourself.”
> The teen may be at the dinner table and just being quiet and not saying negative things. Well, when you're starting out, one of the positive-opposites can sometimes be reinforcing the non-occurrence of the behavior. And you just say, “Marion, it's nice having dinner with you, it's nice that you're here.” What that does is reinforce the likelihood that Marion will be at the dinner table and not say negative things.
So, I love this here.
Taming the 4 year old requires a psychological trick on the 4 year old. Taming the 14 year old apparently requires a psychological trick on the 40 year old.
For the teens, the psychologist's advice is literally "Well, maybe don't be such a bitch in the first place, Mom."
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#6"Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. Having real choice is not the issue, humans don't feel too strongly about that, but having the feeling that you have a choice makes a difference. This was the main take away for me. It seems like it might…
The other important thing is to recognise that children can't plan. If you're in a hot room and ask a child to put some warm clothing on they're not going to be able to plan for the cold weather outside, and they'll reject the clothing because they're warm.
At that point you can turn it into a huge thing, or you can just take the coat with you until you get outside and they get cold. At which point you let them put it on. And if they still don't want it, well, most children aren't going to let themselves get hypothermic.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#7Positive reinforcement is hardly "radical".
It is in the context of the US where violence against the child is common place; widely accepted; even if the parent has used a weapon to do so; even if it's not a parent but a school[1]; and where there's no hope that hitting children will ever become illegal.
[1] a weirdly large number of schoolchildren are still hit in the US.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#8"Sarah, put on the green coat or the red sweater. We're going to go out, okay?" Choice among humans increases the likelihood of compliance. And choice isn't important, it's the appearance of choice that's important. Having real choice is not the issue, humans don't feel too strongly about that, but having the feeling that you have a choice makes a difference. This was the main take away for me. It seems like it might…
Or populations.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#9This article is dangerous. On the surface it may sound good, but there is behavior so vile and harmful to the child, family or neighbors that never showing negative reinforcement is extremely dangerous with some children.
It does have some merits though, showing plenty of positive reinforcement will likely reduce the amount of negative reinforcement needed.
Re: No Spanking, No Time-Out, No Problems
#10> Let’s say you have an adolescent daughter and she says to you, “Mom, you are such a bitch. What have you ever done for me? You only think of yourself.” > The teen may be at the dinner table and just being quiet and not saying negative things. Well, when you're starting out, one of the positive-opposites can sometimes be reinforcing the non-occurrence of the behavior. And you just say, “Marion, it's nice having dinn…
It's literally not. There's a huge difference between "being a bitch" and "not actively reinforcing the bo.nd with your child."