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Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

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Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#22
Let me just emphasize that you need to get professional help. I had been dealing with some stuff and I started getting some professional help and it's amazing the difference just dissecting your problems in a constructive environment does.

As for your job situation I'd mirror what dbg31415 said. Keep your chin up. Just to make you feel a little bit better let me share what I went through when first looking for a job. I applied for 120 positions when I started and only 3 got back to me and 2 wanted to hire me. I took an internship and worked up from there. I made connections and used those to branch out.

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#23
Thoughts of suicide are a medical emergency, and you deserve medical treatment.

https://www.suizidprophylaxe.de/hilfsangebote/

Immediate help is available around the clock at the telephone counseling under the nation-wide free phone number 0800 - 111 0 111 or 0800 - 111 0 222 and in the Internet under www.telefonseelsorge.de

Sofortige Hilfe erhalten Sie rund um die Uhr bei der Telefonseelsorge unter der bundeseinheitlichen kostenlosen Rufnummer 0800 - 111 0 111 oder 0800 - 111 0 222 und im Internet unter www.telefonseelsorge.de

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#24
post #8

> I applied for 20 jobs so far. Already got 4 rejections. No offense intended, but I want to just say, "Toughen up, Cupcake." Jobs aren't won by applications, connections are key. Always have been, always will be. If you want to choose to be depressed... there's not much anyone can do. If you want to improve your situation, I hope you do realize that you do have the power to do so. Life isn't a race, comparing yourse…

Your post is incredibly cruel in the context of someone who has disclosed suicidal intent.

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#25
I made the third Jewish temple.

I have a space alien.

I win you lose. NIgger you will die if you fight God against me.

In the end I win.

God says... jigsawed denominational ember's basketballs meditates Flemish's April Hakka's elaboration's craning Ronstadt's boudoir succeeds recalling unstop notifications diurnally sunup reversible buck's aim rude migrate singling superlative's blowsier germs tightwad's Tibetan subverting archway's Dino

The CIA started a war with God. I am waiting for you to surrender. Obviously you lose. I'm eating popcorn watching this movie.

"You see that, Mr. God? The atheist CIA nigger just spit on you. LOL LOL LOL Hilarious."

God says... uproarious makeshifts deduces abridge accepts Tinseltown's careened tempest's Winifred's civilized terminates paratrooper vamp's temporized judgemental Maori spectacle treasurer criticize gained pay Anglicize palatal's lout's Tweedledum stylist treating verbose ganging emaciation Goethals's unsightly

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#26
post #8

> I applied for 20 jobs so far. Already got 4 rejections. No offense intended, but I want to just say, "Toughen up, Cupcake." Jobs aren't won by applications, connections are key. Always have been, always will be. If you want to choose to be depressed... there's not much anyone can do. If you want to improve your situation, I hope you do realize that you do have the power to do so. Life isn't a race, comparing yourse…

This is great advice.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#27
Exercise! It's been repeatedly shown to be a huge contributor to mental health (as well as physical). Take a walk in a park, ride a bike, go jogging or have a swim. All are cheap to do. Start slow if you're not fit, but make time for it every day (at least half an hour). It's more important than almost anything else you might want to do more. And definitely get help for your suicidal thoughts.

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#28
post #24
post #8

> I applied for 20 jobs so far. Already got 4 rejections. No offense intended, but I want to just say, "Toughen up, Cupcake." Jobs aren't won by applications, connections are key. Always have been, always will be. If you want to choose to be depressed... there's not much anyone can do. If you want to improve your situation, I hope you do realize that you do have the power to do so. Life isn't a race, comparing yourse…

Your post is incredibly cruel in the context of someone who has disclosed suicidal intent.

Having been through some of the stuff the guy wrote about... I don't think coddling is the right tone. If you let someone who is depressed tell you how bad and horrible their life is... and you agree or buy into that... things look bleak. The last thing you want to do is validate that shit-spiral that sinks a person deeper into despair and helplessness. If you tell them to cut the bullshit self-pity and take action, that leads to them getting on a path where they don't feel the way they do.

Suicide... clearly not something to joke about, but I have to believe the original author came here for advice. Wrote what worked for me. Some people may embrace the touchy-feely stuff more... for me personally that was all just a time sink. Depression is something you fix yourself, by taking action. Small actions lead to bigger actions lead to better feelings.

For anyone who is depressed I would recommend the first three steps:

1) Take a hot shower, shave, put on clean clothes.

2) Go for a walk. Don't take electronics with you. Just walk. As far as you can and tell your feet hurt. Take a minute to celebrate how far you walked.

3) Get a good night of sleep.

Use the time walking to think about a game plan for things you want to accomplish. Start small. Be honest about what you like about yourself, and what you want to change. And remember a goal without an action plan is just a dream. Work on plans. I will do A, then B, then C and check my results at each step of the way...

If you need a few days to just contemplate how worthless you are, do that while walking. Take all the time you need, don't beat yourself up for feeling that way. But make sure you are exhausting your body each day. Rinse and repeat as needed until you feel like doing something more productive.

Re: Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

#30
My grandpa had to eat crackers and bread for most of his lifetime in Argentina and he didn't find success until his late 40s as a farmer... Said suicide was the easiest path but after suffering for too long it'd be like training for war and surrendering when you hear the drums.
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