This is the insight that made statistics "click" for me many years ago: a statistical test answers one central question: what are the odds that the results you observed could have arisen by chance? If those odds are low, then you are justified in concluding that the results probably did not arise by chance, and so there must be some other explanation (usually, but not always, the causal hypothesis you are advancing).…
It's the odds of having that results due to chance, if the null hypothesis is true[0]. That latter part might sound pedantic, but the whole point is that we don't know how likely the null hypothesis is. If I test wheather the sun has just died[1] and get a p-value of 0.01 it's still very likely that this result is due to change (surely more than 1%)! We need a prior probability (i.e. bayesian statistics) to calculate the probability that the result was due to chance, that is why that partial definition is incomplete and actually very misleading. This point is subtle, but very important to really understand p-values.
Another way to look at it is: if we knew the probability that the result was due to chance we could also just take 1-p and have to probability of there actually being some effect, a probability that hypothesis testing cannot give us.
There is one nice property that hypothesis testing does have (and why presumably it's so widely used): if the idea you are testing is wrong (which actually means "null hypothesis true") you will most likely (1-p) not find any positive results. This is good, this means that if the sun in fact did not die, and use 0.01 as your threshold, 99% of the experiments will conclude that there is no reason to believe the sun has died. So hypothesis testing does limit the number of false positive findings. The xkcd comic is a bit misleading it this regard, yes it does highlight the limitations of frequentist hypothesis testing, but the scenario depicted is a very unlikely one, in 99% of the cases there would have been a boring and reasonable "No, the sun hasn't died".
For an incredibly interesting article about the difficulty of concluding anything definitive from scientific results I highly recommend "The Control Group is out of Control" at slatestarcodex[2].
[0] To be even more pedantic you would have to add "equal or more extreme", and "under a given model", but "if the null hypothesis is true" is by far the most important piece often missing.
[2] http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/04/28/the-control-group-is-ou...