Earlier quoted context omitted.
"It was therapeutic for the reasons you give, but also because I had a death wish." This is a problem. High sensation seeker, (dopamine seeker) with low perception of risk. Understanding risk is a skill. You can improve it through training and applying conscious decision making. Risk management is trying to mitigate the "unknown, unknowns." If you do not understand the risks, you cannot avoid the pitfalls until it st…
It was very interesting to get into motorcycle racing, which is primarily an exercise in gauging risk. The more risk you're willing to take, the faster you go. But the less experience you have, the more often you will end up crashing. So I found myself doing very well as a novice racer, but I also crashed or had near crashes much more often.
Mark you are really out there :)