I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me • Hacker News Board

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#171

Post by Johnny555 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:34 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

When my elderly father was becoming careless with his money and giving it away to anyone he perceived to be in "need" ($1,000 or $10,000 at a time), we managed to convince him to give my brother power of attorney - ostensibly to make health care decisions, but in reality, the family moved his funds to a new account that dad didn't know about.

This was likely illegal as it was done without his knowledge, but it proved invaluable as it let us afford expensive home health care in the last few years of his life and avoided the need to move him to an assisted living facility (which he staunchly refused to do).

It took all of his retirement savings and most of the equity in his house to pay for it.

If he'd continued giving away all of his money, as his health declined, he would have had to be moved to a state subsidized care facility when it got to the point that he needed more care than family members could give him at home.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#172

Post by jayess » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:43 PM UTC

michael_h wrote: post #65

whiddershins wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't fully understand your situation, and it must be horrible and frustrating and painful, but there must be some way you can get through to her?

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

Good lord, just log in to her facebook and block the dude... better yet, change her email address for the account and then the password so she can't reset her password.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#173

Post by joering2 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:47 PM UTC

nkrisc wrote: post #142

joering2 wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know what are "those" scams but many scammers go very far, as far as giving you their cellphone number that works and they pick up, and even meet you in person. There are youtube videos of scammers meeting people and then called out on lie they just leave. I would assume if she paid so much and still have money, she is priobably on scammers vip list so I wouldn't be suprised if multiple "lawyers" and other sc…

Oh wow. Most of the types of romance scams I've read about involve the scammers pretending to be people in other countries, inventing dilemmas that require money while romancing the victim. I assumed this to be the case, but it apparently is not. That is scarier.

No you are correct, but those usually end up when someone pays few hundred bucks. I assume getting $200,000 out of your victim puts him/her in a special category.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#174

Post by ada1981 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:50 PM UTC

withdavidli wrote: post #148

planckscnst wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered that your mother probably has all the information necessary to impersonate you and acquire debt on your credit?

Parent poster needs to be very careful of this. One my friends mom had this done to take out car loans/cellular contracts because her credit was crap. Ended up defaulting and ruining his credit, and had his car repossessed. It takes years to rebuild credit and he got stuck with crazy rates for his next car loan (will likely pay 2x-3x worth of car). He refuses to have his mother arrested/report it as fraud to settle a…

The cost of co-dependence I suppose.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#175

Post by exolymph » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:51 PM UTC

zaidf wrote: post #168

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

At the moment, I'm afraid I'm unable to muster the empathy necessary to understand how you could even begin to help the scammer. Is there anyone who can still empathize with her? Strategize with them to help her. Make them the goto person that talks about this topic with her while you are in the background. One of the biggest lessons in my life that I've learned is if I can't empathize with someone, it is very unlike…

OP is saying they can't empathize with the scammer, not with their mother-in-law (although that may also be true).

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#176

Post by clueless123 » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:53 PM UTC

Johnny555 wrote: post #171

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

When my elderly father was becoming careless with his money and giving it away to anyone he perceived to be in "need" ($1,000 or $10,000 at a time), we managed to convince him to give my brother power of attorney - ostensibly to make health care decisions, but in reality, the family moved his funds to a new account that dad didn't know about. This was likely illegal as it was done without his knowledge, but it proved…

There is a point in life when like it or not, switching roles with our parents is the right thing to do. The hardest part is accepting that this is necessary.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#177

Post by exolymph » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:55 PM UTC

hilop wrote: post #118

michael_h wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

She's paying for companionship. It's basically prostitution. If you don't approve, find someone to give her more comfort than her courtesan does.

Well, prostitution is physically sexual. So it's more like someone who gets addicted to camgirls. However those situations are mutually honest transactions. In this case she's being deceived and lacks the strength of character or mental stability to fully realize that or cope with it. I do agree that she's probably starved for affection.

Frankly, an escort or camgirl habit could be cheaper.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#178

Post by thecourier » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:56 PM UTC

clueless123 wrote: post #176

Johnny555 wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When my elderly father was becoming careless with his money and giving it away to anyone he perceived to be in "need" ($1,000 or $10,000 at a time), we managed to convince him to give my brother power of attorney - ostensibly to make health care decisions, but in reality, the family moved his funds to a new account that dad didn't know about. This was likely illegal as it was done without his knowledge, but it proved…

There is a point in life when like it or not, switching roles with our parents is the right thing to do. The hardest part is accepting that this is necessary.

this sounds about right. I advice to open a trust fund so changing hands is just question of setting up a new president

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#179

Post by nkrisc » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 6:57 PM UTC

logicallee wrote: post #164

nkrisc wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People believe all sorts of irrational and outlandish things without a shred of proof, or even with proof to the contrary.

There is proof to the contrary that "startups work" and that working for equity is a good use of someone's time. I still believe it. It's kind of irrational and outlandish. When I work on startups with others, this isn't a scam. So your terms "irrational", "outlandish", "without a shred of proof" or with "proof to the contrary" is insufficient. You need to come up with a more polarizing differential that can differen…

I'm afraid I don't see your point. You asked:

> how do you believe someone loves you and is going to marry you without seeing them?

How does one believe that? Well, they choose to. It might very well be irrational, it might be outlandish, yet they still choose to believe it. People choose to believe all sorts of outlandish things all the time. Sometimes they were right after all, sometimes not. Given that this instance perfectly fits established patterns of scams I think it's a perfectly fair assumption that this is a scam until proven otherwise.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#180

Post by Pica_soO » Thu, Oct 20, 2016, 7:10 PM UTC

dragandj wrote: post #153

pavel_lishin wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could argue the same thing about Christianity in general; didn't Jesus prophesize his return to occur within a very short time after his death?

Whoever wrote the texts in the New Testament was clever enough to specify it vaguely. Short, for god, can be very long for you, mere mortal. Of course, there slipped an error in some of those texts where Jesus promised that this "short" means "within the lifetime" of those who he was speaking to. But, again, the Bible is so full of much more blatant inconsistencies that this got drowned down below. The believers don'…

Its that part that gives meaning to meaningless life's. You are not just somewhere in the middle - another layer in the boneyard, you are the last generation. Being special.