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I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

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Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#151

Post by vidarh »

kba wrote: post #110
voxic11 wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the United States and most countries I'm aware of debts cannot be inherited.

I think most places, debts can be inherited voluntarily, but you can't cherry pick. If your dead aunt had a Mercedes 190SL, but also owes $200,000, you can either take both or nothing. But yeah – they won't end up in debt themselves, unless they choose to.

Yeah, my dad died in debt (Norway), and we were able to pick any personal effects of minor monetary value without issue, and then make the choice whether to take the rest of his assets and the debts, or neither.

It only really becomes an issue if you have a strong personal attachment to assets that have high monetary value, like e.g. perhaps your childhood home - otherwise it boils down to a financial consideration.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#152

Post by berntb »

hilop wrote: post #118
michael_h wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The first day he messaged her, we told her it was a scam to take window's money. Four months later, when we discovered she had been talking to him in the intervening months, we showed her a few websites that detail exactly how the romance scam works (matching her situation exactly ). Last weekend, when we found out all of her money was gone, we had the police and adult protective services come out and tell her point…

She's paying for companionship. It's basically prostitution. If you don't approve, find someone to give her more comfort than her courtesan does.

I assume that was written by a secondary account from someone here. It seems to be a common way around the HN demands for civility... :-(

Regarding the victim, my guess would be on early stages of dementia and/or emotional trauma after becoming a widow.

But if I would discuss this with a victim, I would try bringing up the psychology of a scammer. First in general terms, like the Nigeria letters, then the specifics about romance.

To really hurt someone this bad is not far from the level physical torture. It is not easy for normal people to live with the self image of destroying an innocent person's life in that way. So the perpetrators of such horrible acts have to despise and blame the victim. (This is what scare me about hateful political idealists, by the way, they tend to think people contradicting them are evil. Not an American, so this was not about the election.)

So scammers and criminals really hate and despise the victim.

(This scammer wasn't someone desperate or really poor, that is partly another discussion.)

Which gets me back to the what I comment on -- "hilop" could probably get a career in scamming, he has the right attitude to other people.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#153

Post by dragandj »

pavel_lishin wrote: post #122
M_Grey wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is also how the JW's started, and frankly continue. The simple, sad reality is: People mostly believe what they want to believe.

You could argue the same thing about Christianity in general; didn't Jesus prophesize his return to occur within a very short time after his death?

Whoever wrote the texts in the New Testament was clever enough to specify it vaguely. Short, for god, can be very long for you, mere mortal. Of course, there slipped an error in some of those texts where Jesus promised that this "short" means "within the lifetime" of those who he was speaking to. But, again, the Bible is so full of much more blatant inconsistencies that this got drowned down below. The believers don't mind, though...

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#154

Post by jhulla »

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

I am sorry for your situation.

For others who are concerned about this range of problems, consider the following issue carefully: elderly parents who for whatever reason compromise their financial and/or physical health are placing a direct burden on you. Although their debts do not transfer to you, you may very well be on the hook due to familial obligations. E.g. your MIL gives up all of her assets to a fraudster. You cannot bear to see her homeless - so you step in financially. Her actions are now reducing your wealth and quality of life.

One solution to this is to anticipate and discuss issues well before they arise. Transfer assets to trusts for grandchildren. Create living trusts where a child is a trustee. Watch your parents' financial accounts. Talk to them about common scams [Nigerian/IRS/Gift card/Email]. Train them to always confirm with a family member before transferring money anywhere.

There is also the option of pursuing Guardianship and Conservatorship should that become necessary.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#156

Post by btouellette »

planckscnst wrote: post #112
michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

Have you considered that your mother probably has all the information necessary to impersonate you and acquire debt on your credit?

Time for a credit freeze

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#157

Post by orblivion »

Noseshine wrote: post #133
orblivion wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> is completely unverified, and given that the whole thing was a scam to begin with IMHO certainly does need verification in order to be believed. That would mean he's also scamming the BBC.

Did they verify it? They only seem to report it. So you downvote me for raising this very valid question? I am asking , I'm not alleging anything. But there is no proof being shown and that's just a fact. I don't know why you bring the BBC in, nothing I read indicates they personally went there. It seems like they only talked to the woman, so what the BBC knows does not go beyond to what she believes. Is asking about…

I for one did not downvote you nor am I necessarily putting down your point. I'm just saying that if you're right, the BBC is also getting scammed. That makes it seems less likely, but sure, still possible.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#158

Post by logicallee »

TheOtherHobbes wrote: post #143
logicallee wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I mean by the analogy is that people outside of the startup can have the same feeling about the startup entrepreneur (e.g. thinking they've been mired up in a scam.) the difference is there isn't one in the startup case. So do something - like visit the love interest - that differentiates between these cases.

Scammers can be very persuasive in person, so it's not a given that the scammer will ignore her. I know someone in a similar situation. She's been abroad to see her "love" in Egypt regularly, and he's very attentive when she's there. Of course they're planning to get married. Of course it's love. What else would it be? Works on guys too. I know someone else who has given rather a lot of money to an East European woma…

But actual love is similar, so where is your differential? I realize you could have a simple answer, "is any money involved", but that would make many very good relationships that work out positively for both partners "scams" at one point. Does it also make every stay at home, or temporarily unemployed person a "scammer", if they are receiving financial help? You need an actual differential on love here. If Hillary starts earning a POTUS salary is her husband a scammer, clearly in it for the long con, since he even cheated on her!

So you need a much better differential when you sarcastically say "of course it's love".

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#159

Post by happy-go-lucky »

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

We suffer more from imagination than from reality.

Re: I went to Nigeria to meet a man who scammed me

#160

Post by rdl »

michael_h wrote: post #53

My mother in law is currently $150,000+ deep on a Facebook romance scam. I believe she's about to send him another $200k or so when her house is sold. Instead of living out her retirement in relative comfort, she will be scraping by on social security. Adult services can't help, because moonshot-level stupidity is not a mental disorder. She can't live with us, as she can no longer be trusted. She can't live on her ow…

I'd try to get her to buy an annuity or some other way of putting the lump sum out of reach in exchange for a fixed revenue stream -- maybe justify it as a tax thing, or what if she lives ~30 more years due to great new medical science, and then convince her to put a credit hold on her own account (to prevent loans).
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