This is probably the wrong forum, but I have a question or two that I see as related. I have setup a VPS, disabled passwords, and setup a key with a passphrase to gain access. At this point my greatest worry is losing this private key, as that means I can't access the server. What is a reasonable way to backup my private key? Encode it as something similar to a QR-code, print it, and store it in a hole in the wall? C…
As for access if you lose a key, unless you somehow run a VPS that also uses full-disk encryption (and requires a passphrase on boot), then your hosting provider has access to your VPS.
For instance, with DO or Linode, you can log in to the admin console and reset the root password of a server. Once done, you can use the terminal built into the admin panel to access to the server even if SSH is disabled.
Presumably, someone could work with the provider, prove you are dead, and that they should gain access to your servers. At that point it would come down to the policy of the hosting provider.