Why are Adults so busy? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#381

Post by crpatino » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:11 PM UTC

amelius wrote: post #18

I'm wondering why, with all the technological progress, we don't have 8 hour work-weeks just yet :)

Because of the asymmetry in laboral relationships.

If you have a rare, valuable skill, employers will be willing to pay handsomely for your time, but they will demand a lot of your time. IF you are good enough, they will be even willing to pay you premium to have you not use your skills for anyone else. The caveat is that these arrangements are, more often than not, non-negotiable. It is an all or nothing proposition.

On the other hand, if your skills are commodity, potential employers will be happy to hire you part time (so they do not have to give you any benefits). However, your wage will be so low that, more often than not, you'll want to juggle two or more part-time jobs so you can earn a reasonable compensation that actually pays for your living expenses.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#382

Post by travisp » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:12 PM UTC

orbitur wrote: post #375

dec0dedab0de wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

With young kids around, the laundry and responsibility for dependents figures become hours daily, not weekly. I started dropping off our laundry at my local laundromat about 6 years ago, it immediately improved my quality of life. Now if only they would put it away for me.

So they wash, dry, and fold your clothes for you? I've only seen/heard of places where you throw in coins and return for your things later.

In New York City, "Wash and Fold" is incredibly common. Most places will even pick up/drop off from where you live.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#383

Post by jandrese » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:16 PM UTC

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Or you know, you have responsibilities. I know where my free time went, it got soaked up by the kids. Get up, go to work, go home, kid time, bed time, now I have maybe an hour or two to cram in everything that makes me not a dull automaton, but half of that is spent fixing stuff or I'm too exhausted to do anything. You don't even get weekends, there's always stuff going on.

And I'm far from the busiest parent I know. One of the neighbors has a kid in competitive swim so she's up at 4AM every morning for swim class, then sending the kid to school, then sending the other kid to school, then a brief window to get stuff done during the day (at least she has that, with 3 year olds you don't get the school break), then bus pickup, then bus pickup, dinner, homework, then bedtime. Weekends are swim meets--every weekend. Often several hours away, plus whatever the other kid is doing.

Keeping a schedule like that up perpetually is exhausting, and there's basically no opportunity for adult activities. Nothing to talk about except swim meets.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#384

Post by eitally » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:18 PM UTC

sagischwarz wrote: post #21

The numbers seemed very high to me so I created a list on my own and thought I'd share it (single, no kids, full time job). 1. Work: 40 hours 2. Cooking: 3 h (who the hell cooks three times a day?) 3. Laundry: 0.5 h (once a week) 4. Cleaning: 1 h (and I am very clean, I just avoid producing dirt) 5. Buying stuff: .5 h (I try to avoid buying too much stuff I don't really need) 6. Bills: 0 h (they a are paid automatica…

I think if you actually timed some of this stuff your numbers might need to be adjusted. For example, unless your 1/2hr laundry is drop-off/pick-up from a service, it takes a couple hours to run a load through a washer, dryer & fold to put away. Ditto with errands. Some weeks you get lucky. Other weeks, not so much.

People with children at home will obviously have very different time allocations (I do laundry almost daily, and if I let it pile up to fold once a week it takes 2-3hours to fold and put away everything. Family meal times can take 2hours each, depending whether we get the food ready quickly and the kids feel like eating. Someone is always sick. )

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#385

Post by eitally » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:20 PM UTC

cdubzzz wrote: post #178

sagischwarz wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, it could be more. I'm actually thinking about reducing my working hours. Could you elaborate on which assumptions seem unrealistic to you? I tried to list them as honest as possible, but for sure I might have overlooked something. The estimated free time aligns quite well with my daily perception (also, I could see 'staying healthy' as free time, because I go rock climbing and thats just something I love to do a…

On second thought, "very unrealistic" was harsh. I (or anyone) could nitpick a few hours per week here and there but nothing significant. You are right that it's really just about current life situation. As a married homeowner, my responsibility time is much higher, hah.

No kidding! I feel like my wife & I get somewhere between 1-2hr/day of discretionary time, and it's not in large blocks most days... and it includes things like calling the utility provider to figure out a billing problem, vacation & event planning, chatting with neighbors/friends, and anything else that isn't a natural part of the "committed parent + homeowner" categories.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#386

Post by eitally » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:22 PM UTC

jlbyrne wrote: post #367

shocks wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I never understood people that wear shoes in their house. It's nasty.

It's not that nasty if you have non-carpeted floors and a swiffer. Living somewhere warmer (no salt, snow, etc.) helps too. I don't have orthopedic problems, but I've found that I'm generally more comfortable by the end of the day if I'm wearing shoes at home vs barefoot or slippers. This is especially true if I spend a few hours in the kitchen standing up to cook, etc. Additionally, where I grew up it's odd/rude for…

Curious where you grew up, because I've noticed lately (since we stopped wearing shoes in the house), that almost all our visitors -- no matter what their ethnicity or place of origin -- tend to either volunteer to remove theirs or tell us they also don't wear shoes indoors.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#387

Post by eitally » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:24 PM UTC

mholmes680 wrote: post #182

I think one thing here was missed: managing [successful] relationships. I have 2 kids - i have to directly manage a relationship with my wife, with each kid, with both kids, and with my wife and both kids. She has to do the same. I have to indirectly manage a relationship between the two kids, and with the wife and both/each kids. To do it right would mean breaking up those 10 free hours I might have into each of the…

Can I upvote you 100 times? 100 wouldn't be enough, actually. This should be the top response.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#388

Post by Tenhundfeld » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:27 PM UTC

branchless wrote: post #70

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Try explaining rent to kids. We have to pay to exist? We have to pay how much? And they are right! I don't have a problem doing nothing. I don't care what others think. But I have to work far more than necessary because of the labour skiming rentiers. They are living off my back. Edit: landlords of HN unite to downvote!

I'm sure it's different in different markets, different countries, etc.

That said, I know several people who own multiple homes and lease them out. They often barely break even with mortgage payments, maintenance, dealing with deadbeat tenants, etc. Sure, once a house is paid off, they have a nice source of income, but they're taking a decent amount of risk having so much of their money tied up in such a limited number of investments. Some of them are still under water on rental property mortgages after the 2008 crash.

They're not skimming labour off of their tenants. They're providing a service for a fee.

And if you're talking about large apartment complexes, that's not some landlord "rentier" class. That's a corporation, just like any other.

You don't have to pay to exist; just ask any homeless person. If you want to live in a home or any type of shelter, you have to make it yourself or obtain access to one that has been built. It has always been so. There are various ways to obtain access: squat, pay rent, perform services in exchange, couchsurf, join a commune, convince friends or family to accept you, buy, etc.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#389

Post by dennisgorelik » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:44 PM UTC

SubiculumCode wrote: post #318

justinator wrote: post #309

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't mean to be rude, but would you mind sharing the type of financial situation you grew up in? I don't remember wasting that much time as a teenager, since if I wanted something, I needed to get a job and work for it. If there was any chance of my bettering the type of situation I grew up on, I had to make sure my grades were amazing. I had to deal with someone else's serious drug addiction in the family, and tr…

I grew up in a neighborhood of dirt and chicken coops. My parents made less than 12k $ per year as I grew up. My parents never attended college and did not know the first thing about it. My privileges included a stable family that pushed me to succeed where they had not, and an above average IQ. I got through college with my family on student loans, stipends, and food stamps.And you know what, my kids will have oppor…

> my kids will have opportunities I never even dreamed of

On another hand your kids are more spoiled with the wealth they were born into and potentially may have lower drive than you have.

Hard to tell how they would turn out.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#390

Post by randomdata » Wed, Sep 14, 2016, 6:45 PM UTC

kesselvon wrote: post #284

randomdata wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Try explaining rent to kids. When it comes to kids, we often call it sharing. Billy has a toy truck you want to play with. You have a action figure he wants to play with. If you each share what you have, then everyone is happy. That is all rent is. Billy has a house, you have cash. He wants to play with cash, and you want play house. If you each share what you have with each other, everyone is happy. Pretty simple.

Sharing is a two-way transaction with the object being returned. Rent is one way, as the landlord isn't giving you your rent back.

Why aren't you getting your money back? The only reason why you would want to occupy someone else's space is precisely because you see an opportunity to get all your money back.