Ask HN: Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)

I'm almost 30 now and my 25 yr old self went through this, word for word. If I had to go back and give one piece of advice to that boy, it would be - Relax a little and don't be too harsh on yourself, especially with those expectations. There is _no_ rush. You have much time ahead of you.

Quarter-life crisis is more common than you think. While the reasons do not matter much, in my view, high expectations (not bad) and impatience are the culprits. Life is a long journey and learning to navigate the ups and downs is a skill learned only through experience.

In many ways, this is what entering adulthood really is about :) You no longer have the structure of school, and as you said yourself, the highs and novelty of grad school, your first job have started to wear off. It happened to me too. You are lucky to have a girlfriend who has known you for long. Don't let this feeling affect a precious relationship, first and foremost. If you have a right-brained friend, a guy, who has known you for a while, talk to him. Male camaraderie & bonding is something different altogether.

I hate giving you a list of "things-to-try" but this is what I've learned - "changing things up" is one of the most effective ways of pulling yourself out of this. Your mind needs fresh fuel. It needs to see and experience new things. It is a feedback loop. Your mind will automatically give back to you great motivation, new ideas, and happiness if you feed it with something new. Soon after I turned 26, I backpacked by myself for a bit around Europe. It was one of the most defining and amazing experiences of my life. Take your girlfriend along and go travel a bit if that seems possible. My travel energized me so much that soon after I returned, a new venture idea dawned on me and gave me a strong purpose.

It is difficult to find meaning and purpose in modern life. Expectations are high, and we see media-fueled stories of 20-something millionaires all the time. That's a rarity.

Most importantly, let life unfold. Life is long (no matter what you hear otherwise). It is a journey. Embrace the uncertainty of what is yet to come. If you stay on your feet, let yourself gravitate towards new experiences, and let them permeate you, the flow will be smoother. Remember that there is no rush. There is no deadline to get to a certain place. There should be no I-must or I-have-tos, especially in this phase. You don't absolutely _have to_ find a strong meaning and purpose to everything just yet. It will come. The 20s are some of the most wonderful years of our lives. Take a few risks, have new experiences, form some amazing memories.

You seem like a fairly cheery guy prior to feeling like this. I see what you are feeling as more of a transient phase in the journey of life. It happens to all of us. Everyone. I speak from experience, too. And believe me, when this phase passes, you will have been glad you went through it. It will define the man you become. It will be good =)

Good luck!

Try Ayahuasca. Its legal 100%, you can get components on ebay.com. Motivation guaranteed.

Watch The Blueprint by Real Social Dynamics - how to get girls.

Listen to some good trance music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkITM2UIYoU

Read Tim Ferris book "Four Hour Work Week"

I pretty much felt lost until my late 20s. I finished college and worked at a few large companies, doing mostly unrewarding work and not really challenging myself. By age 30 I felt I was at an impasse, and needed to either apply myself or drift along from job to job. I think the final tipping point was the arrival of my first son. The combination of wanting to do better and provide for my son was a powerful one. I ended up losing 50 pounds, getting back to my highschool weight, and working on projects that interest me. That was almost 4 years ago, and can say that Im as happy as I have ever been. For me, exercise and enough sleep are crucial, I can get depressed and demoralized without both of them. I dont know that this will help you, but it worked for me.