Ask HN: Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)

HN, I ask this question here as I'm unsure of where else to go with it. I'm sure a lot of people like myself are members (mid-20s, striving to be self-actualized and think about life goals and happiness, or went through this before) and I'm sure someone dealt with something similar. I have basically lost the motivation to do anything, in my professional and personal lives and am sure it's something akin to a quarter-life crisis.

More importantly, I have lost the ability to tell if and what I want anything from life. I have been a few years out of grad school; the train tracks of school/first job are fading. I have no idea where I want to live, no idea what I want to be doing, no idea where I want to be doing it and no idea what will actually make me happy. Or if I do know exactly where I want to live, I'm always terrified that I'll regret the move later.

This is affecting me emotionally, hurting my relationship with my long-term girlfriend (hopefully soon fiance), and is much more severe than what I've experienced before. I am going to make an apointment with a psychologist, but after a few unsuccessful attempts to appeal to parents and friends, I'm not sure what else who else to turn to or how to proceed.

Some people say this is what entering adulthood's like, but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine.

Thank you in advance for any advice and I hope it helps someone else who's going through something similar.

I'm also mid 20s, and feel about the same. You should discuss with your girlfriend, what kind of life you two wanted to live. Plan carefully, and don't think too much, it will stress you instead.

First off -- addressing: "Some people say this is what entering adulthood's like, but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine." Have you spoken to others publicly in this same manner that you have privately, behind your username? Just because people don't talk about it publicly -- like you didn't; doesn't mean people don't feel the same way.

You didn't give any useful information about what you could do; you must have some hobbies or activities that you enjoy doing and one of those must be able to provide you with some money to live off of -- even if it be humbly.

In the end you have to make your decisions on what you know now and if need be you can always educate yourself to make a more informed decision.

I've known a lot of people like this -- a lot of them young, and some of them much older. Some people seem to just have a lot of drive and always too many ideas about what they want to do, and others don't have much of any at all. I've never been that way, so I can't really relate.

But, I have seen that nobody else can really seem to tell someone how to live, or what to do, or how to be motivated. That part is all up to you; I could say, "go backpacking for a week", because that's what I do to clear my mind and re-focus, but that's something that works for me and probably would have no impact on you.

You're looking to everyone around you for some advice that can only come from within yourself. You're the only person that can decide what you want your life to look like.

Most adults go through something like this. You start to realize you're not as successful/confident/responsible/etc. as you thought you'd be by now, and you kinda freak out about it.

Losing motivation and feeling lost -- just about everyone I know has been there both personally and professionally at least once in their mid-20s. Seeing a psychologist might be good, but if I could give you a word of advice, I'd just tell you to start expressing bits and pieces of these feelings to others you trust. Chances are, everyone else has dealt with or is dealing with similar issues and will know what to say about your specific situation and personality.

I wish you lots of luck in your "striving to be self-actualized," as you put it, and I truly wish you happiness! Being ambitious is tough; the flip side of that coin is never being satisfied. Sounds to me like you have a little bit of both going on.