I was the happiest when not thinking about it. There is a trite and often reapeted lesson there.
Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
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Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#102I remember reading this in college and coming away with the feeling that what he was proposing was impossible. I didn't know what my Abilities were and how they relate to the others around me such that I can use them effectively. Not only that I didn't even know what I desire aside from food and sex. Luckily I was on a career trajectory and had quite a bit of experience ahead of me so I took solace in the idea that w…
I think a large part of the problem is that when people talk about finding "happiness" they are actually talking about "winning at life". Which is impossible of course. Every time that you do something that you think will make you happy, and you ask yourself 'is this it?' you allready know the answer, because someone who's satisfied wouldn't ask 'is this it?'. And if you spend years thinking about "finding happiness"…
> You have found happiness when the idea "life is meaningless" seem obvious and irrelevant.
Precisely. To the best of our knowledge, we're just robots. There is no meaning behind the universe, it just kinda, is.
The realization that the only sense you can find in life is the one you create yourself, makes a lot of things clearer. This is also why it should be irrelevant that life is meaningless, since what do you care about the true meaning of life (which probably doesn't even exist) once you found something better, more satisfying, that you can cope with and develop in?
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#103I'd be sceptical of life advice from somebody who committed suicide.
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#104My Journey In search of purpose 1. Hated working for others. One day manager refused to grant hike (in salary). Googled for a resignation letter, and mailed him the first one found. 2. Didn't know what to do. Decided to do freelancing. Took up a project that was too big for my mouth (read, implementing an ERP for a small retail chain) . Took away some good 2.5 years of my life, for peanuts. But learned a ton. The pro…
When you say "manager refused to grant hike", you mean you wanted a raise, or time off for hiking?
It means a raise. Usually it would mean a rise in price of something you pay for.
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#105Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#106Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you imagine what it's like to be on the other side of you? I don't know you, and I wouldn't presume to know anything about you other than what you've revealed in your comments, but what I can say is that you've been handed enough lego blocks to build anything you want to, and it seems like you've set them aside because they're not the specific blocks that you had in mind to build the thing that you envisioned at…
Oh, yea those close to me hate it. Everyone else seems fine cause they only see the professional side, so as far as they know, everything is just A OK Great! Not only family but I have a high stress business to run and people counting on me! Thanks for taking the time to write that out though. In reality, all you write is correct generally. This wasn't intended to be a mini-therapy session, but for what it's worth th…
>I've had probably a dozen therapists over the years
Writing this as someone who went through SCUBA training (but never took the open water dive) and also went through an intensive private pilot training course (but never went on the check ride), I feel a sort of kinship here.
Have you tried CBT or REBT? (REBT has the word "rational" right in it).
The premise is that our thoughts can sometimes put unreasonable demands and pressure on us which results in nasty emotional consequence. You can give REBT a test drive via a few sample chapters from a reputable author here: http://threeminutetherapy.com/my-book-three-minute-therapy
Another useful book is: How to Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable about Anything: Yes Anything! https://www.amazon.com/Refuse-Yourself-Miserable-about-Anyth...
Then there's meditation. It's not all yoga pants and spiritual mumbo jumbo. I've described a simple method here: https://medium.com/@John_Chacho/engaging-the-senses-to-quiet...
These aren't magic solutions. My brain resists this stuff with ninja-like elusiveness, but when I remember to practice it, it does steady my outlook and behavior.
In short, the various CBT methods combined with meditation can turn the confrontation with the "yawning void of nothing" into a peaceful, sometimes even joyful experience.
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#107Earlier quoted context omitted.
At a certain point you realize that experiences and stuff are equally as meaningless in the end.
terryf has a fantastic comment, but what end are you talking about, death? A good way of figuring out what you value is considering if you die tomorrow, why wouldn't you (assuming you aren't suicidal). If you really don't matter either way then why not just do the thing that feels good?
What happens if you have no problem with doing so? I would be perfectly comfortable with committing suicide any which time. I just don't do it because I don't have a reason to do so, but otherwise, meh.
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
Try getting good at something you're bad at, like, for example, appreciating your life and the lives of those around you. "Yawning void of nothing" is a pretty hilariously inaccurate description of a family and all the life experiences you describe. I would experiment with the hypothesis that perceiving value and experiencing it as such are skills you lack but others possess, that may be improved through deliberate p…
I would experiment with the hypothesis that perceiving value and experiencing it as such are skills you lack but others possess No experimentation necessary, it's blatantly clear that's the case. that may be improved through deliberate practice Perhaps. Or maybe it's just trying to distract yourself from reality through what are commonly accepted "values." Hard to know. I read all those studies about "happiness" comi…
Andrew, you're fine. I'm going to guess that you're American as America is the most happy-obsessed culture in the world in my experience.
Happiness as virtue is not universal, maybe you need some more time abroad. I know you said you visited 100 countries but visiting 100 countries and living in another country for many years is quite a different thing. Or maybe you just need different friends or perhaps a meditation practice, I don't know.
I'll leave you with this 2 minute video from Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek, "Why Be Happy When You Could Be Interesting?": https://youtu.be/U88jj6PSD7w
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#109Earlier quoted context omitted.
Did you not desire to write this comment?
It's more of a neurotic addictive compulsion and ego seeking behavior than something that is desirable as a sense of fulfillment. These neurotic addictive behaviors (checking social sites, compulsively reading random things, chewing tobacco, drinking alcohol, sleeping) dominate most of my non-mandatory, un-allocated time. Everything else is just a yawning void of nothing, including my wife and 3 kids. Not for lack of…
The thrill-seeking and "yawning void of nothing" are a bit concerning. Have you ever looked at the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder?
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-per...
Re: Hunter S. Thompson on Finding Your Purpose (1958)
#110Earlier quoted context omitted.
In a finite physical universe, nothing has intrinsic meaning. The only meaning anything has, is the meaning that you attribute to that thing. Thus, anything that is meaningful to you, is the most meaningful thing in the universe. No goal is better than any other, because there is no universally defined "better", everything just "is". Therefore, you are free to say that the goal you have chosen is better than any othe…
I agree in principal, Hence, why I suggested Camus in my original comment. But what happens when you can't attribute meaning to anything? Do you revert to religion or suicide (Those were the three options for camus)?
Neither. He reject them both.
When you can't attribute meaning to anything, Camus says, according to some of my self-interpretation, that you have to live while accepting the triviality of it all. Live while acknowledging death is a perfectly valid alternative and nothing is really stopping you committing suicide. But only when you are on that edge are you truly living,