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Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

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Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#21

Post by ProAm »

mhurron wrote: post #15
sliverstorm wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. -- Ecclesiastes 1:9

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. -- The Byrds. FTFY /not actually serious

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again." -- R.Jordan

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#22

Post by FreedomToCreate »

TazeTSchnitzel wrote: post #17
seibelj wrote: post #14

I have met people who not only police everyone's behavior and speech for minor deviations from political correctness, but are constantly worried about how their thoughts are not meeting their own high standards. There is a difference between saying things in a public forum and thinking them when you see something crazy on the street. I just think living that way would be totally exhausting and remove a lot of fun fro…

Biases, prejudices and so on are subtle and take a while to unlearn. If you want to get rid of them, you essentially have to interrogate your own thoughts, for better or worse. If you're not conscious of a bias, you can't get rid of it. It doesn't suck the fun out of life.

That is assuming a bias is completely a bad thing. The human brain as evolved many heuristics to help it lower cognitive load and get things done faster. As with anything, this can have good and bad outcomes, but trying to make yourself unbiased is ridiculous and non-sensical. The fact that you want to be unbiased makes you biased for information and people you think are unbiased.

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#23

Post by aji »

seibelj wrote: post #14

I have met people who not only police everyone's behavior and speech for minor deviations from political correctness, but are constantly worried about how their thoughts are not meeting their own high standards. There is a difference between saying things in a public forum and thinking them when you see something crazy on the street. I just think living that way would be totally exhausting and remove a lot of fun fro…

did we read the same article?

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#24

Post by jasonkostempski »

kunle_e wrote: post #8

This reminds me of how forgetful we are as a species. The stuff in this article was figured out thousands of years ago and now is being presented almost as if it's something new. It also reminds me that for all of our technological prowess, we still haven't mastered the no-tech fundamentals of dealing with life as human beings.

Old bullshit, new package.

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#25

Post by TazeTSchnitzel »

FreedomToCreate wrote: post #22
TazeTSchnitzel wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Biases, prejudices and so on are subtle and take a while to unlearn. If you want to get rid of them, you essentially have to interrogate your own thoughts, for better or worse. If you're not conscious of a bias, you can't get rid of it. It doesn't suck the fun out of life.

That is assuming a bias is completely a bad thing. The human brain as evolved many heuristics to help it lower cognitive load and get things done faster. As with anything, this can have good and bad outcomes, but trying to make yourself unbiased is ridiculous and non-sensical. The fact that you want to be unbiased makes you biased for information and people you think are unbiased.

> As with anything, this can have good and bad outcomes

Yes. Sometimes those bad outcomes are pernicious, and you may want to limit their effects.

> but trying to make yourself unbiased is ridiculous and non-sensical.

Why would it be so? Sure, you can't make yourself completely unbiased and lacking in prejudice. But you can try to be more aware of how you act in different situations so that biases you consider unhelpful have less of an influence.

> The fact that you want to be unbiased makes you biased for information and people you think are unbiased.

What?

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#26

Post by bholzer »

debaserab2 wrote: post #20
sebringj wrote: post #18

Completely removing religion and pc correctness and cultural obligations from my life fairly early on resulted in a very light weight approach to life and the removal of inner chatter bullshit. Do what makes sense to you to get the best result in the purpose of life you have chosen. Basic morality has already been ingrained in us through evolution and is quite adequate by itself. Why we then we must slap words on it…

> Basic morality has already been ingrained in us through evolution and is quite adequate by itself. How exactly did you arrive at that conclusion?

Babies of humans and other species have been shown to have a sense of morality that is not learned.

https://campuspress.yale.edu/karenwynn/files/2015/10/WynnInn...

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#27

Post by nefitty »

yourapostasy wrote: post #19
kunle_e wrote: post #8

This reminds me of how forgetful we are as a species. The stuff in this article was figured out thousands of years ago and now is being presented almost as if it's something new. It also reminds me that for all of our technological prowess, we still haven't mastered the no-tech fundamentals of dealing with life as human beings.

Maybe someday our ML will be good enough (and alas, it is not currently) that a "fuzzy trope search engine" could be built. Enter a description of a situation, set of relationships, or condition, and up pops references to historical tropes that match and are related. Then I can short-circuit old ideas being pitched to me repackaged in new clothing passing off as genuinely new ideas, and send the pitcher the link. The…

That would be an amazing service. You could even provide short advising narratives, similar situations from novels, films, etc. and their conclusions to help guide the user to act appropriately according to their goal. It would be like a friend relating a, "Yeah, that happened to me once, this is what I did," kind of story except the stories would be pulled from hundreds of sources.

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#28

Post by justinlardinois »

TazeTSchnitzel wrote: post #17
seibelj wrote: post #14

I have met people who not only police everyone's behavior and speech for minor deviations from political correctness, but are constantly worried about how their thoughts are not meeting their own high standards. There is a difference between saying things in a public forum and thinking them when you see something crazy on the street. I just think living that way would be totally exhausting and remove a lot of fun fro…

Biases, prejudices and so on are subtle and take a while to unlearn. If you want to get rid of them, you essentially have to interrogate your own thoughts, for better or worse. If you're not conscious of a bias, you can't get rid of it. It doesn't suck the fun out of life.

I'm not sure how your parent even jumped to talking about "political correctness" in the first place, since that's not at all what the article meant by "right" thoughts and feelings.

But you're spot on. It's difficult to unlearn something that you never knew you were learning in the first place, because you just take it as fact or how the world is.

Confronting your own biases is uncomfortable, but it's well worth it, for it makes you a better person and helps you interact with the world in a more positive way. Besides, having your worldview shaken up and challenged is good for you; that's the best way to learn.

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#29

Post by justinlardinois »

aji wrote: post #23
seibelj wrote: post #14

I have met people who not only police everyone's behavior and speech for minor deviations from political correctness, but are constantly worried about how their thoughts are not meeting their own high standards. There is a difference between saying things in a public forum and thinking them when you see something crazy on the street. I just think living that way would be totally exhausting and remove a lot of fun fro…

did we read the same article?

I would say "not sure why you're getting downvoted," but we're on Hacker News so I do know why.

Re: Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”

#30

Post by aji »

dang wrote: post #3

We replaced the title with a photo caption from the article that appears to summarize what the researcher means by "showing up". If anyone suggests a better (more accurate and neutral) title, we can change it again.

what about: "Showing up" to your emotions
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