Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
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Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#2I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#3I miss being alone so much I could cry. It wasn't long ago that I could get up in the morning to my empty apartment, stay in my apartment all day (I worked from home), and only see people when I felt like it. Throwing massive parties for 50+ people every month or so works amazingly well for both socialization and increasing your social standing.
Nowadays I work from an office with a bunch of other people around me at all times. When I come home, there's my girlfriend. Sure I love her and I definitely can't afford my own rent, but sometimes I just wish I could come home to an empty apartment, you know?
Late nights are the last bastion of aloneness I can get. But how long can I maintain a schedule of going to bed at 2am or 3am and being bright and ready at the office by 10am? it works for now, but I'll be 30 next year. Surely there are limits.
The funny thing is that this prevalence of forced-upon social contact makes me too tired to build a real social network. I just don't have the energy to hang out with friends, or even much inclination to see them. This often makes me feel lonelier than I ever did when I spent 90% of my days alone.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#4I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
I experienced something similar. Having my own small apartment was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced in my life. I'm a bit antisocial, but not severely so. I'm more introverted than anything else, and I discovered that I'm incredibly productive when I have a space to myself that I can retire to whenever I want and over which I have complete control.
All my life I struggled with issues related to introversion, and having my own apartment basically solved all of them overnight. I've never been more social in my life than I was when I lived alone. The reason is simple: I was always able to recharge and never got to the point of being consistently drained.
I've been conflicted ever since with how I want to live the rest of my life, as living alone is in conflict with a lot of other goals that are also very important to me, like marriage.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#5I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
After eleven years alone in my own house, I have the same sentiment. Do I get lonely? Sure. But I value being able to do whatever the hell I want, whenever I want much more than the occasional loneliness. Coming back to absolute silence is far understated.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#6[deleted]
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#7I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
Yeah, I guess being alone is alright for a year or three or five.. but eventually it kind of gets old.
Also, there's a big difference between merely living alone, and being alone.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#8I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
I'm generally the same. What I found makes the difference, between being happy in that situation and depressed, is ease of access to social contact.
While there are weekends that I'm happy to spend completely at home, seeing no one (except perhaps my girlfriend) and reading/working on projects, I know that if I really needed to see someone I could text some friends and be grabbing a drink or meal with them within a few hours.
This is now that I have a fairly well established social network. In college, the same situation - living alone, working on personal stuff all weekend but without a social network I could tap into - was a little depressing at times.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#9Who would have thought that feeling bad about something is a warning system. It's just like physical pain, it's emotional pain. Pain acts as a regularizer of the learning functions that the brain optimizes.
Re: Loneliness Is a Warning Sign to Be Social
#10I moved into an apartment alone about a year ago now. I absolutely delight living alone and being by myself in a way that I didn't think was possible. I was worried that I'd be lonely and miserable, but I'm not. Sometimes I want some company, but usually I'm content to spend time alone reading or coding or, hell, just thinking.
As one of the quotes indicates: "If individuals perceive loneliness as a stressor, their body may be adapting by helping this individual get up and go." The solution is to not allow outside influences to trick you into thinking you are lonely. Once you think you are lonely then it will spiral and spiral in the mind until it gets out of control (a stressor). So, solitude is fine provided you don't buy into the loneliness hype.