141–150 of 205 posts
This article appears to be written by people who are not capable or interested in caring about what other people are saying. They techniques they described are phony. Good listeners are never phony.
This is why I come to HN..to find articles like this. This defies what you learn at school, because I have been taught numerous times, to nod and stfu when you're holding a convo. Always interrupt if you have something constructive to say in a casual/business conversation (unless you're in a debate), that's how you gain trust and credibility.
Wouldn't that be how you establish yourself as a know-it-all? (I haven't read the article yet)
People label others with hostile things like "know-it-all" as a way of dealing with their own inferiority complexes.
This is why I come to HN..to find articles like this. This defies what you learn at school, because I have been taught numerous times, to nod and stfu when you're holding a convo. Always interrupt if you have something constructive to say in a casual/business conversation (unless you're in a debate), that's how you gain trust and credibility.
> Always interrupt if you have something constructive to say... This is dangerous advice. Being perceived as someone who frequently interrupts is socially detrimental. As another commenter said, save it for when someone really makes it necessary, and converse with grace at all other times.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
But what about situations where you think you understand but you don't? That's often the point of paraphrasing back what was said. I do this in cases of doubt, and often enough I learn my paraphrase was either incorrect or had the wrong emphasis. I do it routinely enough that I often learn I was wrong when I had no doubts. This technique does not seem to annoy people; quite the opposite. I'm sure it can be done badly…
When it's a critical topic, you should still paraphrase things that are unambiguous. Because the penalty is too high for critical things when you're wrong, even if the risk seems tiny. In critical situations, assuming that something is unambiguous is especially dangerous.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Always interrupt if you have something constructive to say... This is dangerous advice. Being perceived as someone who frequently interrupts is socially detrimental. As another commenter said, save it for when someone really makes it necessary, and converse with grace at all other times.
Nonsense, sometimes people don't know when to stop talking, and it's more dangerous to let them continue. In those situations having the courage to interupt, and the knowledge to do it diplomatically, is important.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
The brain is most certainly a turing machine.
Thanks, that has sure assuaged my qualms -.-
"Indeed, I see no evidence, from neuroscience or any other field, that the cognitive information processing done by the brain is anything but classical." -- http://www.scottaaronson.com/blog/?p=1951
Notably this is from a post discussing quantum effects as a potential explanation for consciousness. There's still no evidence for that either. Also, if true, it would only sit atop a classical cognitive process which acted as a turing machine. That or a horde of tiny turing machines.
After almost a year volunteering in 7cups.com as a listener, I can't agree more with the article. When you show genuine interest for what other people are telling you, they will talk openly for hours and will leave the conversation feeling way better than they started it.
> almost a year volunteering in 7cups.com as a listener How have you found it? I've thought about doing that myself from time to time, and I would value anything you'd like to share about your experience there.
People's problems can variate from light ones to very complex ones so it's very important to have the adequate mindset, keeping in mind what you are doing there (offering support by listening) and where are your limits. If not, the frustration can overcome you.
It's not free of trolls but I have rarely found them there and the majority of the people is very grateful just for boosting up their mood, which gives you a good feeling after finishing a conversation :)