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This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

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Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#101

Post by exstudent2 »

nommm-nommm wrote: post #100
rob wrote: post #97

This is so sad, especially the part in the beginning about hiring a nanny to watch their kids as they grow up. You can't get those memories and time back. But hey, you have a WiFi coffee maker and Roomba.

What's with the current cultural obsession with spending every single moment with ones children? How can this possibly be healthy for the children (never mind the parents)?

I'm pretty sure that having both parents work and raising your child via nanny is the current obsession and having a stay at home parent was normal human operating behavior for ~200,000 years.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#102

Post by asveikau »

twblalock wrote: post #7
wavefunction wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nannys? Going to fancy restaurants hoping to see venture capitalists? Most people your age do not by any means conduct themselves like this, nor could they if they wanted to. Their "nanny" is their sister or mother or mother in law or a neighbor. They don't go to a fancy restaurant because they don't have the money for both the fancy restaurant and a baby-sitter. They're a two income-family forever, not until stock o…

Let me put it this way: I have lived in Silicon Valley my entire life (and I'm not that young), and the only person I've ever met who was raised by a nanny was a rich kid who went to my high school. I've never met anyone who hired a nanny, except that kid's parents. But maybe that's because I don't live in Atherton.

I'm raising a kid in SF. Many people have nannies. Go to any major playground in the city during the work day and you will see nannies. Sometimes on weekends too.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#103

Post by whatever_dude »

Great read, not just for people from Silicon Valley. It's good to put things into perspective.

It also reminds me of an article [1] about John Carmack and his choice of Dallas. To quote,

> “A lot of people, especially from California, say, ‘Texas? Why the hell are you in Texas?’ But I am generally happy to wave the flag and say, ‘No, I am not here under duress.’ I actually like it here. And we appreciate the sense of the Southern hospitality. You don’t get the sense that everyone needs to be coddled and taken care of. You get the sense of gumption.”

I have since fell in love with that word, "gumption". It's something you don't see in companies where people are being treated as kids and catered to with little superficial perks. But it's what get shit done.

I hope tech "visionaries" don't decide to adopt it and make it a new buzzword, however.

[1] http://www.dmagazine.com/publications/d-ceo/2015/september/v..., discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10136565

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#104

Post by idm »

exstudent2 wrote: post #101
nommm-nommm wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What's with the current cultural obsession with spending every single moment with ones children? How can this possibly be healthy for the children (never mind the parents)?

I'm pretty sure that having both parents work and raising your child via nanny is the current obsession and having a stay at home parent was normal human operating behavior for ~200,000 years.

The word "parenting" was coined in the 1950s.

Prior to modern times, groups of people (maybe related, maybe just neighbours) shared childrearing responsibilities. It's unlikely anybody was a dedicated caregiver in the same sense as modern parenting.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#105

Post by amyjess »

Honestly, reading this reminds me of why I intend to never set foot in NorCal and why I'm glad to live in Texas.

Edit: and, to be honest, this isn't exclusive to NorCal: this also reminds me disturbingly of NYC culture, and I'll describe NYC as a place I like to visit but would never, ever want to live. I have no interest in coastal urbanite culture.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#106

Post by exstudent2 »

idm wrote: post #104
exstudent2 wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm pretty sure that having both parents work and raising your child via nanny is the current obsession and having a stay at home parent was normal human operating behavior for ~200,000 years.

The word "parenting" was coined in the 1950s. Prior to modern times, groups of people (maybe related, maybe just neighbours) shared childrearing responsibilities. It's unlikely anybody was a dedicated caregiver in the same sense as modern parenting.

More often than not the mother was highly involved. Almost never was a nanny the primary caregiver.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#108

Post by econner »

whatever_dude wrote: post #103

Great read, not just for people from Silicon Valley. It's good to put things into perspective. It also reminds me of an article [1] about John Carmack and his choice of Dallas. To quote, > “A lot of people, especially from California, say, ‘Texas? Why the hell are you in Texas?’ But I am generally happy to wave the flag and say, ‘No, I am not here under duress.’ I actually like it here. And we appreciate the sense of…

I assume he's in Menlo Park now at Oculus. I wonder if he still feels the same way.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#109

Post by nommm-nommm »

exstudent2 wrote: post #101
nommm-nommm wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What's with the current cultural obsession with spending every single moment with ones children? How can this possibly be healthy for the children (never mind the parents)?

I'm pretty sure that having both parents work and raising your child via nanny is the current obsession and having a stay at home parent was normal human operating behavior for ~200,000 years.

No, it's not the current obsession. The current cultural obsession is over-parenting and massive anxiety and guilt about not "spending enough time" with children no matter how much time is actually spent with children. The comment I replied to is reflective of the current cultural attitude that its "so sad" that kids get a break from their parents for 40 hours a week. Time spent on childcare has actually increased since the 1960s[1] which reflects the increased amount of emphasis on childrearing. There also seems to be little to no questioning of what is healthy for children and parents, it's just seen as "natural" and "obvious" and certainly ideal if possible.

The people with this "so sad... you can't get those memories back" attitude never explain why its ok for the working parent to miss out on "memories" while they are at work whereas its absolutely essential that the nonworking parent gets in the maximum amount of "memories" possible. Or why its ok to ever send a child to a public school because "memories" certainly happen during the school day and you're going to miss out! Or why its so terrible for children to bond to several caregivers rather than one or two?

[1] http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2007/DoParentsSpend...

>Time diaries indicate that married fathers spent an average 6.5 hours a week caring for their children in 2000, a 153 percent increase since 1965. Married mothers spent 12.9 hours, a 21 percent increase. Single mothers spent 11.8 hours, a 57 percent increase.

>These increases are powerful because the figures are for "primary care" where the child is the main focus of attention, not for time spent with the child while doing other things. Time-diary numbers, however, do not say whether mothers are as accessible to their children at home during as many hours as they were in the past.

Re: This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley

#110

Post by reedlaw »

This was an enjoyable read. I especially appreciate the ending. At first it had a somewhat dystopian feeling in the sense that the protagonist's tastes align with whatever's trending at the moment. He's smug and superior. But in the end it was the realization that he lives in a beautiful place and the awe at seeing the sun set that brought true comfort. Nothing else in his life really works, including the meditation app.
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