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Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

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Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#21

Post by mchan »

Some really good points and advice here. I just want to add: you're 22. What you are experiencing is totally normal. Everyone goes through this struggle at some point in their lives - not necessarily with video games, it can be with other things. The guilt is a perfectly normal reaction to the situation, so no need to beat yourself up about it. What you are feeling are two opposing needs that need to be met - both are perfectly valid. The need to feel productive, and the need to feel relaxed. You need to acknowledge both.

Also, I am guessing that that need to feel productive may come from an expectation to achieve and possibly appear successful. If it is, it would be beneficial to really deeply question the motivation behind it. A lot of people at that age (including me, when I was) believe that you have to 'be' somebody. That is an external expectation that you would need to see through and let go of.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#22

Post by ionised »

Time enjoyed is never time wasted. If you like playing games, don't feel bad about it. As long as you're not neglecting other aspects of your life to play them, there shouldn't be any problem.

It doesn't sound like you are though, you have a decent job, you spend time studying and you have a relationship. Stop beating yourself up.

I spend a lot oftime playing games too, They're fun and it's how I relax. I still make time to learn new things at home though. I would feel guilty if I didn't.

I would recommend not playing MMOs or MOBAs though, they seem to be the games that people play compulsively.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#24

Post by eswat »

What I've done is change the games I play so it's easier to reframe them as being part of my personal development, hence not feel as guilty about playing them a lot. For me this meant removing games that were too grind-ey (major time sinks with little return on investment) or had toxic communities (very bad influences).

Instead I started playing short, single-player games with strong narratives and interesting gameplay that I could learn from on a mental or spiritual level. Now I treat playing games like I would treat reading books: they have to be a good fit for what I'm looking for and I need to come out of the experience having learned something useful or interesting; there needs to be more than just entertainment value. IMHO this way of thinking about games is a lot more effective than just uninstalling Steam and hoping you never fall for gaben's siren song again.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#25

Post by riotvan »

eswat wrote: post #24

What I've done is change the games I play so it's easier to reframe them as being part of my personal development, hence not feel as guilty about playing them a lot. For me this meant removing games that were too grind-ey (major time sinks with little return on investment) or had toxic communities (very bad influences). Instead I started playing short, single-player games with strong narratives and interesting gamepl…

Yeah I need to start doing this. Ima start buying quality games. Already uninstalled CSGO. Screw that game. Thanks for that point of view.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#26

Post by riotvan »

mchan wrote: post #21

Some really good points and advice here. I just want to add: you're 22. What you are experiencing is totally normal. Everyone goes through this struggle at some point in their lives - not necessarily with video games, it can be with other things. The guilt is a perfectly normal reaction to the situation, so no need to beat yourself up about it. What you are feeling are two opposing needs that need to be met - both ar…

I always have trouble finding the real motivation and reasons behind things. I just don't what is the real questions I should be asking myself. For me, finding the why in things is sometimes really difficult. For instance, about exercising: I know that I should exercise so I'm healthier and live longer, but that reason alone sometimes isn't enough for me to get up in the morning and go for the jog. I guess I have a hard time acknowledging the fact that I need to relax sometimes, it's just that I don't really know any other form of relaxation but video games, and that makes me sad.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#27

Post by riotvan »

ionised wrote: post #22

Time enjoyed is never time wasted. If you like playing games, don't feel bad about it. As long as you're not neglecting other aspects of your life to play them, there shouldn't be any problem. It doesn't sound like you are though, you have a decent job, you spend time studying and you have a relationship. Stop beating yourself up. I spend a lot oftime playing games too, They're fun and it's how I relax. I still make…

I really, really, have a hard time not beating myself up. I always want to be or feel better, but when I start thinking about the things I should be doing in order to improve, the friction is so high that I fall back to my default mode, which is to play a video game for an hour or two. In this case, it's CS GO.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#28

Post by riotvan »

NumberCruncher wrote: post #23

>> I'm just afraid of being "a guy who plays video games on his free time" You are the 22 years old guy who works full time and works on his thesis. The students I know are all lazy bastards compared to you...

Sometimes I pride myself in it, but I really have a hard time not beating myself up over it, and the inner struggle is constantly there.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#29

Post by eswat »

riotvan wrote: post #25
eswat wrote: post #24

What I've done is change the games I play so it's easier to reframe them as being part of my personal development, hence not feel as guilty about playing them a lot. For me this meant removing games that were too grind-ey (major time sinks with little return on investment) or had toxic communities (very bad influences). Instead I started playing short, single-player games with strong narratives and interesting gamepl…

Yeah I need to start doing this. Ima start buying quality games. Already uninstalled CSGO. Screw that game. Thanks for that point of view.

CSGO and the previous games were also my crack and those of my friends. But it's clear now that it's morphed into something that I would rather not be a part of. The betting website shenangians from the past month were a symptom of deeper problem with that game and its community.

You'll definitely find something that would make better use of that time you had filled with CSGO, whether it's a game or not.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#30

Post by db48x »

That commute is a huge time sink, and it's costing you a huge amount of money as well. If you found a way to cut it down, you'd have more time for other things. You could cook yourself nice meals (or at any rate you can practice cooking nice meals, it actually takes some skill), or spend more time with other people, or both at the same time.

Even if you still feel that playing games is shameful (and it's no more shameful than any other type of entertainment), you'll be a lot better off.

Approaching it from the other side, perhaps your choice of games could be improved. You don't really say what games you play, but you can always find a less mindless thing to play. I recommend Factorio, it's amazing (http://www.factorio.com/).

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