Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#1

Post by riotvan » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 9:09 PM UTC

I work 9-5, have a 1.5 hour commute each way, everyday. I hangout with my S.O 2 to 3 times a week and weekends. I'm finishing my MSc on CS, but it's something that doesn't really interest me, it's not challenging and it's very boring (but getting the degree is important, I guess).

During my free times (which is usually on the weekends) I work 4 to 5 hours on my thesis and then I don't know what to do so I just mindlessly play video games and then I feel about it.

I do okay on my job, I do what's required of me everyday, I don't slack, I make good money and I plan to move out next year (I'm 22). All seems ok, but there's just this void inside me. I can't find anything else to fill it.

I used to be really into personal development (journaling, writing, follow daily planners, etc) but every since I got into this job it's like I'm mentally exausted to do all that. Don't get me wrong, I love the job (it's my first job in the field, ever, fresh out of college), but it has killed all my motivation and interest on personal development. I can't follow daily planners, I can't find motivation or entusiasm to follow through a plan. My bet is that my daily commute is destroying me at the end of the week.

And everytime I play video games I feel bad and I just want to unninstal them after the game is done. This is a long repeating cycle and I hate it. I want to get back into developing myself, but I don't know where to (re)start it. I'm just afraid of being "a guy who plays video games on his free time". I know that it is OK to play video games every once in a while, but couldn't I spend time doing more interesting and challenging things? I feel like I portrate a very boring type of person when all I do is that.

So, what do you guys do/did to fight this, if you experienced anything like this?

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#2

Post by PaulHoule » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 9:25 PM UTC

All you need is Hyperdimension Neptunia!

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#3

Post by svisser » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 9:47 PM UTC

It is essential to balance work with play. So you should not feel bad to play video games from time to time.

But if you're always doing things that involve a lot of thinking (work, study) it may be good to balance that with exercise or creating things with your hands.

If your work is not very exciting and it's unlikely to change then you may need to consider changing jobs.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#4

Post by ownedthx » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 9:47 PM UTC

Get them out of the house. It's the same quitting unhealthy food. Take away easy access, and you'll do something else.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#5

Post by Mz » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 9:49 PM UTC

During my free times (which is usually on the weekends) I work 4 to 5 hours on my thesis

Finish your thesis and then revisit this issue. There is nothing wrong with you. This is totally normal for someone working on something like this.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#6

Post by rollinDyno » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 10:06 PM UTC

I've been on the uninstall/install cycle. I used to be very much into League, and plenty of games before that. I stopped on January 1st 2015 as part of my new year's resolution.

I knew I had to stop because it wasn't giving me time to achieve my goals. Specifically, to become a proficient programmer. I think this contributed greatly because the sensation of achieving little wins while playing games was immediately replaced by the same feeling when fixing bugs or having code behave just like you want it to. See: 'The Power of Habit'.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#7

Post by SudoNhim » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 10:09 PM UTC

When I can, I try to just not have a computer at home for this reason. I have an e reader and a shitty cellphone that can is hard enough to use that I don't waste much time with it.

The trick is trying to find things that you can only use productively.

Terrible WiFi can also work if you can set it up. Something with 300ms lag is enough to stop me playing games. If you live with other people making sure your workstation is in the living room and not your bedroom also helps.

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#8

Post by partisan » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 10:44 PM UTC

That commute is killing you. So is the perception that you aren't doing anything if you aren't doing something all of the time. Give yourself a break. Everyone needs to have an outlet and video games happen to be on the lower end of the scale in terms of harmful outlets. Now you just need to forgive yourself for being human.

If you are intent on removing video games from your life, please replace it with something that allows you to free your mind. Join or start a meetup for something fun and attend it during your usual video game time. Go to your local pool and take a swim. Do anything that will take your mind off of your crappy commute, job, and MSc.

And go talk to someone if you feel you might be depressed. Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#9

Post by DanBC » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 10:51 PM UTC

Do you think physical activity would help? Building in a bit of exercise would probably have some benefit.

Would you be able to keep to a timetable of allowable game time? 30 minutes and no more? Because if so you cold use it as a reward for starting some thing else. "I'll do an hour of learning this other thing, then 30 minutes of games".

Re: Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

#10

Post by patrickgordon » Sun, Jul 31, 2016, 11:14 PM UTC

I had similar struggles. I was heavy in to CS:GO & dota2 and all I got out of this was going to bed angry.

My solution was pretty extreme - I sold my gaming PC. Here's my steam profile now: https://i.imgur.com/4sSc0O7.png

That said, I didn't stop gaming all together, a time later I bought a PS4 and some single player games. This holds my attention for an hour or so when I'm completely wiped from work towards the later part of the week.

I now use my time after to work for yoga (2x a week), meetups (~3 a month), doing some freelance WordPress work, and programming my hobby projects.

I also took up cycling to improve my fitness and now I am in bed by 9.30-10pm and get up at about 4:45 / 5AM to ride. On rest days, I still get up early and have a coffee, read the "news", and work on hobby projects before work.

I don't have specific advice to you, and the above is all my own experiences, but what I will say is that my mood, and outlook on life has improved. To that end, I will say there is hope and you are the only one who can impart positive change on your life. Just be willing to try and keep trying and I'm sure you will.

Happy to chat via email if you want someone impartial to talk to. pgord1 at gmail dot com