Hi, I'm a developer but i'm not so friendly, communicative, talkative (in fact i'm real lousy at that) if I improve these areas I would benefit so much. Anyone has tips/books/psycho/tricks that can help me be a very friendly, talkative, communicative, funny developer?
Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
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Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#2Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#3"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." Wilson Mizner
Friendly - practice smiling by thinking about something you enjoy.
Talkative - focus on asking good questions.
Communicative - consider who you are talking to and what they are asking for. Real communication isn't what's said, it's what is understood, so you need to ask questions to make sure you were understood.
Funny - "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." Somerset Maugham (It works for me).
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#4Look people in the eye when you're talking to them. This helps me focus on the conversation and not get distracted, and it also helps to convey to other people that I'm focusing on them.
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#5Alcohol, ecstasy and cocaine might be of help: only in terms of a mind-state reference point.
People that have had cocaine try and remember what it's like to be in that cocky and confident state and relive it. Also the memories of being drunk: if you can trick your mind into behaving tipsy or loose. Or the openness of ecstasy.
If only you could put yourself in these states without actually needing those substances. (btw, I am not suggesting you dabble in drugs at all)
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#6Talkative:
* Make a question
* Hear the answer
* Repeat the answer with your own words
* Relate yourself with the answer: me too and... / not me, but I experienced something similar...
* Repeat
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#7Alcohol, ecstasy and cocaine might be of help: only in terms of a mind-state reference point. People that have had cocaine try and remember what it's like to be in that cocky and confident state and relive it. Also the memories of being drunk: if you can trick your mind into behaving tipsy or loose. Or the openness of ecstasy. If only you could put yourself in these states without actually needing those substances. (…
Drugs might work for the very short term but in the long term
not so. Try Toastmasters. Not only will you learn how to speak in public but meet everyone else who is in the same boat.
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#8http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=carnegie...
I 100% agree, however, also get the audio CD or mp3 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671579592/ref=dp_proddesc_... (not an affiliate link)
Listen to the book all the way through at least once a month for at least a year. I go for a hike or bike ride on Saturday mornings and often I listen to this book.
The book is like an onion, you have to read it (or listen to it) multiple times, pulling back the layers, more and more, to really get the most out of it.
If you read it after not looking at it in a long time, you will probably slap yourself on the forehead a few times for all the negative social interactions you have been participating in or causing.
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#9Lots of good ideas here. One thing, its probably easiest if you start with people with very similar interests (development or otherwise) so you know the topic well.
Re: Ask HN: How to become friendly, communicative and talkative?
#10http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=carnegie...
I 100% agree, however, also get the audio CD or mp3 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671579592/ref=dp_proddesc_... (not an affiliate link) Listen to the book all the way through at least once a month for at least a year. I go for a hike or bike ride on Saturday mornings and often I listen to this book. The book is like an onion, you have to read it (or listen to it) multiple times, pulling back the layers, more and…
Hi read some reviews of this book in amazon and I saw this:
WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
? Don't argue! Give in! Agree that the other person is right; often they are and if they aren't, you'll never convince them of it by arguing.
and I ask what?! don't argue with people? that is exactly my problem, if i don't stand to my points and argue with people they won't respect me for having my own views! I don't think that is a good quality at all! people should be heard! what do you think?