Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#151

Post by mason240 » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:11 PM UTC

ChuckMcM wrote: post #122

How about stopped doing? There was a weekend where I had spent close to 20 hours playing World of Warcraft to farm materials and reagents for the epic engineering mount. After I had finished it, and spent the requisite time showing it off in-game, I looked around and realized that all of thrill of lifelong learning and making things in the "real" world has been subsumed when all my spare time was consumed in a virtua…

I had a similar epiphany when I started to learn programming (I was about 27 at the time). I realized I was spending all my time just incrementing numbers in a server.

Since then I've dropped almost all gaming, reducing it to about 4 hours a week of phone games and shifted to doing outdoor activities like running, biking, ect. PokemonGo has been a way to meld the two.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#152

Post by Another223 » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:11 PM UTC

Podcasts! I was considering jobs on the buy-side and a friend recommended a couple of financial podcasts. Knowing that part of the interview would be about my financial style and what industry leaders I followed / read I had a strong incentive to give them a try. I quickly became hooked.

More convenient during my (on-transit) commute than a book and there's such a vast range of topics available to keep you interested.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#153

Post by exolymph » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:12 PM UTC

nailer wrote: post #112

Listening to other people more. I'm the youngest of six children, and it's hard for me to get a word in edgewise when I'm at home. Then one day I realised that women thought I was sexist and men thought I was an asshole because I dominated the conversation. I'm a grown man and don't need to take advantage of every opportunity to speak.

Leaving aside the gender politics because that can be controversial on Hacker News, I heartily agree that listening more is beneficial. It can be extended as a philosophy. Reading more and publishing less — though not necessarily writing less. Feeling more and judging less. (Please don't be pedantic about this, anyone; you know what I mean.) Giving other people the space to teach you can be a wonderful experience.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#154

Post by louprado » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:12 PM UTC

hndude wrote: post #96

louprado wrote: post #69

Reducing my carbohydrate intake, limiting workouts to 20 high intensity minutes, practicing better sleep hygiene, asking more questions and arguing less, taking vitamin D supplements, setting limits on gifts and travel, avoiding alcohol and limiting to 3 drinks maximum on any given night, cutting my own hair, buying rental property, realizing that absent mindedness is a symptom of poor planning, focusing on problems…

Could you please expand on "realizing that absent mindedness is a symptom of poor plannning"? Also limiting gifts and travel?

The problem with absent mindedness is that is it dismissed as just part of one's personality. Being an absent minded professor is almost a badge of honor. "It isn't my fault that I have such a brilliant mind that it is exclusively focused on important matters". I missed work meetings (people would just call me), I forgot final exams in college, I'd walk out of my house leaving the door wide open. When I forgot things that were important to others, it caused them pain and burden. But I dismissed it as "not my fault" because "I have a bad memory" or "I am always thinking about more important things and most people just can't relate".

Having a bad memory is easily remedied using notes, day planner (look at it each morning), smart phone apps, habits, etc. Using these tools will declutter your mind and inherently make you less absent minded. I have a fantastic memory now. And when I find my old ways creeping up (usually because I am short on-time or moving too fast) I immediately remedy it with planning.

Ultimately being absent minded implies "I don't care". I don't care enough to write things down or plan, or who I burden. If you think of it that way then you are more likely to improve. And if you are enabling someone who is absent minded, please stop. Tell them it isn't a symptom of brilliance or a genetic quirk. Every one has a smartphone. So it is a problem of not caring, lack of empathy, and irresponsibility.

As for gifts and travel, these are the major reason people fail to save enough money. If you are going to help someone in need, set a limit before you start helping. I've seen people self-destruct their high-paying careers because they felt too guilty to set limits. But without the high-paying job they can finally say no, without guilt.

Finally, you should travel because it makes you happy. Every year people joke that the holidays with the family involves getting the flu and intense family fights. If you are having this problem, explain that next year you won't travel if anyone in the house has a cold or until you personally establish habits that reduce your susceptibility to colds. When a fight gets out of control with your remote family explain that you might not visit next year until we can learn to be more civil. Establish a boundaries but also lower them once you as you build trust and respect.

Hope this helped.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#155

Post by adjwilli » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:13 PM UTC

chriswarbo wrote: post #75

Automated testing. There's loads of stuff written about dos/don'ts, TDD, etc. but doing some testing is better than none. It's not a silver bullet, and it's possible to get too caught up in tests to the detriment of the system; but you can cross those bridges if/when you get to them.

I was looking for someone to write this answer. I admittedly don't write tests and have been seriously questioning this lately. Maybe it's a desire for confirmation bias, but I'm glad someone said this.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#156

Post by tcoppi » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:13 PM UTC

chollida1 wrote: post #126

3 things for me: 1) Meditation, I used to think it was something hippies did. I now think its worth 10 IQ points. I honestly can't recommend it enough. 2) Sleep, I'm getting close to 40 and the last 2 times I pulled all nighters I ended up deleting pretty much all the code I wrote from 11pm onward. 3) Occasional Fasts. I normally fast from 6pm until noon the next day but I now do one 3 day fast each month. I think th…

Any reason/research why you decided on 3 day fasts?

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#157

Post by beachy » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:14 PM UTC

Sukotto wrote: post #20

Declining to reveal my previous salary when negotiating a new job. I ended up with a significantly better salary than they originally offered and never even said a number. Just built a good rapport with the hiring HR rep and agreed that the offered amount would be totally reasonable for [someone else with good experience]. Then I pointed out that I also bring to the role [additional, relevant, and desired experience]…

I reckon if you don't do negotiation on a regular basis, learning to keep your mouth shut, as this post says, is the single best and easiest thing you can do to improve your outcomes.

When you ask your question (this one is great btw - what can you do to make that number better), the other side may, subconsciously or (for more experienced negotiators) consciously just say nothing for a while. They're waiting for you to crack - to immediately fear the silence and blurt out something like "if that's possible of course" or "it would really help me, I've got 3 kids to feed". Following up your own ask with an immediate mini-backdown like this - without even making them say their piece - will lose you $.

Just wait. Silently. Lock eyes with them, not aggressively or weirdly, but patiently. After ten seconds (which may feel like 60), if the heat gets too much, raise an eyebrow slightly, clasp your hands, something.

Nothing's guaranteed but if you can do this you'll get better outcomes more often. And that's especially true on larger deals with very elastic prices (like selling an expensive piece of software) than something like your salary which often has real and hard bounds around it.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#158

Post by cookiecaper » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:14 PM UTC

ecliptik wrote: post #104

Using GPG more. After all the recent email leaks and privacy breaches, encryption and verification of plaintext communications is more vital than ever. If only it didn't have such a steep learning curve.

I spent about 2 years harping on everyone I know to use this, including clients, bosses, friends, colleagues, and everyone else I would send more than 2 or 3 emails. I was only able to get a couple of people using it (and that was probably mostly because they were worried I would be able to get them fired if they didn't keep me happy). I eventually gave up.

Crypto is super important, but it's way too hard to get practically anyone, even technical people, to use it. This area is ripe for disruption I think, especially as more and more high-profile leaks get released. Someone could sell some great, easyish-to-use crypto software and get a lot of money.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#159

Post by exolymph » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:14 PM UTC

isxek wrote: post #107

patio11 wrote: post #9

Every time I start seriously exercising this hits in about week ~4. Sadly, I only generally keep it up for 6 months before falling back to old habits. Professionally: email lists. If you have any reason to have a blog, you should have an email list. It surfaces the identities of the people who are actually interested in what you have to say, and ties people to you much, much tighter than "Oh yeah, that thing you wrot…

If you have any reason to have a blog, you should have an email list. Is it better to write posts for a blog than an email list, then? I feel it's better for someone relatively unknown to start out with a blog, then perhaps switch to a mailing list when you're better known. (Case(s) in point: you, Jason Calacanis, etc.)

It doesn't have to be an either-or thing. Use the blog to collect emails, then send occasional announcements / links or particularly high-quality content via the email list.

Re: Ask HN: What was your “why didn't I start doing this sooner” moment?

#160

Post by paloaltokid » Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 6:15 PM UTC

Tenoke wrote: post #140

chollida1 wrote: post #126

3 things for me: 1) Meditation, I used to think it was something hippies did. I now think its worth 10 IQ points. I honestly can't recommend it enough. 2) Sleep, I'm getting close to 40 and the last 2 times I pulled all nighters I ended up deleting pretty much all the code I wrote from 11pm onward. 3) Occasional Fasts. I normally fast from 6pm until noon the next day but I now do one 3 day fast each month. I think th…

>1) Meditation, I used to think it was something hippies did. I now think its worth 10 IQ points. I honestly can't recommend it enough. I wish this was true && that there was well compiled evidence that could convince me that this is the case.

Why not just give it a try on your own? Do it for 21 days and don't let yourself have an opinion on it until that stretch of time is done. Then see how you feel and make a decision.