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Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

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Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#61

Post by MollyR »

ethanbond wrote: post #6
koolba wrote: post #2

> The big factor, Harvard sociology professor Alexandra Killewald found, is the husband's employment status. For the past four decades, she discovered, husbands who aren’t employed full time have a 3.3 percent chance of getting divorced in any given year, compared with 2.5 percent for husbands employed full time. In other words, their marriages are one-third more likely to break up. Interesting. I'd be curious to see…

I imagine there are a lot factors. Time spent together skyrocketing, financial instability causing stress, and the fact that a lot of men tie their identity to their employment so strongly. Becoming unemployed is immensely turbulent in pretty much every way.

I was wondering why men tie their identity to employment so much. Is it because society expects them to be providers, and ridicules men who don't ?

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#62

Post by MollyR »

Xunxi wrote: post #40
ktRolster wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This time damaged my marriage a lot and things never got back to how they had been previously. Wow, that sounds drastic. What happened?

Same boat, I was picking up almost any job to keep the family afloat, one time I got home and my partner was lying in the couch and crying. I thought it was the impending hardships we were going through so i cuddled and talked her into believing good times were ahead. Her response was "baby I'm pregnant and I'm not sure its yours" The rest is history. Luckily I bounced back, the boy was mine but phew..!

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#63

Post by enave »

cname wrote: post #49
rustynails wrote: post #39

It's a disappointing article in that it makes many narrowly focused and unfounded assumptions and one conclusion. I've recently been doing an indepth study of sexism in Australia starting at 1970. I've poured over archives (and I'm documenting it) to see how Australia went off the rails with its sexist attitude (eg. Domestic Violence is male only, or a revised false history of voting-who could and when). What I have…

Aiming STEM programs at girls isn't sexist. That just isn't what "sexist" means. Those programs exist to correct an imbalance caused by actual sexism.

> Those programs exist to correct an imbalance caused by actual sexism.

But the evidence of sexism is the existence of the imbalance. This whole thing is circular.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#64

Post by ethanbond »

MollyR wrote: post #61
ethanbond wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I imagine there are a lot factors. Time spent together skyrocketing, financial instability causing stress, and the fact that a lot of men tie their identity to their employment so strongly. Becoming unemployed is immensely turbulent in pretty much every way.

I was wondering why men tie their identity to employment so much. Is it because society expects them to be providers, and ridicules men who don't ?

I'd assume so. As much as HN likes to ridicule the notion of "the patriarchy," this is a component of it that's awfully harmful to men.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#65

Post by karmajunkie »

ethanbond wrote: post #64
MollyR wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was wondering why men tie their identity to employment so much. Is it because society expects them to be providers, and ridicules men who don't ?

I'd assume so. As much as HN likes to ridicule the notion of "the patriarchy," this is a component of it that's awfully harmful to men.

Yes absolutely. Sexism harms everyone.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#66

Post by karmajunkie »

DominikR wrote: post #45

I don't know what the laws are in the US regarding divorce but there's an astonishing imbalance in favour of women in many EU countries that causes marriages to be an unacceptable risk for me and many other men. You can get divorced for no cause (no infidelity, financials are fine and you didn't do anything else wrong) and you'll be forced to hand over 40% of your net income to your ex-wife for the rest of your life.…

It varies widely from state to state. Texas doesn't have alimony except under some narrow conditions, but Massachusetts is so liberal with it that it actively discourages women from remarrying.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#68

Post by zaroth »

MollyR wrote: post #62
Xunxi wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same boat, I was picking up almost any job to keep the family afloat, one time I got home and my partner was lying in the couch and crying. I thought it was the impending hardships we were going through so i cuddled and talked her into believing good times were ahead. Her response was "baby I'm pregnant and I'm not sure its yours" The rest is history. Luckily I bounced back, the boy was mine but phew..!

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

For what definition of "healthy"? Few marriages are perfect, and many are quite broken in many respects. Stress drives people to do all sorts of things they might later regret. But if an affair is unhealthy, by that definition literally most marriages are.

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#69

Post by enave »

bruceb wrote: post #56
exstudent2 wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Men haven't had that liberation; a large part of society still believes in specific roles and responsibilities for men that coupled females are (at their option) exempted from. This probably leads to increased stress to both individuals and also an increased risk of negative feedback loops for the situation and everyone involved. Sadly that role restructuring, when driven by men, is still almost universally derided…

I would say you are getting down voted because the MRM seems to be not limited to trying to make things better for men but also endless attacking women and creating stawman(woman) feminism. Men do face many challenges. Some men have dangerous jobs which they die providing for society (fishing, war, etc). This doesn't get enough acknowledgement. But one doesn't have to be a total jerk to make this point and tear other…

> the MRM seems to be not limited to trying to make things better for men but also endless attacking women

?? Are you implying that feminism is limited to just helping women? Surely you're not that naive. If we were to play a game where each time you post a crazy thing an MRA has said, I have to post two crazy things feminists have said, I'll win that game. I'll win it easily. I'll win it with politicians and academics and people who have real power in our society while you'll be scouring fringe websites. And if ever I run low on important people, I still have the Tumblr feminists.

So yeah, I don't really know what point you thought you were making, unless the point was to demonstrate the totally different standard that you hold these groups to.

If you think feminism has legitimacy (and it most certainly does) it's because you're choosing to listen to the points that have merit, and disregard those that don't. It's selection bias, sure, but I do it too.

Consider trying the same thing with three MRM

Re: Harvard Study: Biggest Factor in Divorce Is Husband's Employment Status

#70

Post by MollyR »

zaroth wrote: post #68
MollyR wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

For what definition of "healthy"? Few marriages are perfect, and many are quite broken in many respects. Stress drives people to do all sorts of things they might later regret. But if an affair is unhealthy, by that definition literally most marriages are.

Stress doesn't absolve you of responsibility for your actions. Most marriages being degrees of unhealthy doesn't equate to most marriages having affairs in them. If my husband had an affair, child or no child, It would be an instant divorce. I could never trust him again.
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