"As such, R^2 answers the question: 'does my model perform better than a constant model?' But we often would like to answer a very different question: 'does my model perform worse than the true model?' "
Maybe I'm over-generalizing here, but I think this fundamental assumption is untrue for most people who use statistical models to solve actual problems. All of the "undesirable" behavior of the R^2 metric makes complete sense when you view it as a comparison with the most naive model (the constant model), and while R^2 certainly doesn't measure how close to "true" a model is, it very well captures the utility of using a more sophisticated model over an extremely simple one, which (I believe) is a critical question.
For example, if you had predict a process where measurement noise overwhelms variation in the process itself, as in his first example of log(x) from .99 to 1.0, then the constant model is pretty much the best you can do, and both log(x) itself and the linear model offer little additional benefit. Getting low R^2 values for those two models makes total sense--they offer no marginal benefit. In fact, if you had to make the decision "should I use log(x) or the constant model?", you're often better off going with the constant model for simplicity and predictability (unless you have domain knowledge motivating a different choice).
I like well thought-out articles like this one on statistical concepts because they make me think about things I often take for granted, and while treating R^2 like a better version of RMSE or MAD is clearly wrong, it often better captures things people actually care about by taking the difficulty of the problem into account. If you're doing advanced statistical modeling, it's easy to underestimate how common it is for a beginner to celebrate getting (say) 96% classification accuracy on a 2-class problem where one class makes up more than 95% of the samples--an issue that using R^2 can quickly reveal.
tldr: Awesome article but (imo) R^2 is more useful than most other metrics, not less