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Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

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41–50 of 360 posts

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#41

You aren't wrong. Most of us are stuck in conformist, drab and conservative societies, where we're forced to participate in the market economy. This is soul-crushing, and bad for nearly everyone, but especially those in poor countries. I recommend: 1. Don't work hard. Try to reduce your productivity. 2. Don't work long hours. Reduce your working week to the minimum necessary. Most university graduates earn enough to…

In addition to that I suggest abandoning the idea of trying to be somebody. More important than individuals are what they achieve when working together.

This belongs to point 4: "do things for other people". Doing things for others often works best when joining existing efforts. Many projects with a social agenda don't have enough funds or supporters, because they operate outside of the simple profit model.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#42
Congrats for your degree!

My 2 cents:

1. You are not your work. You are not what you do.

2. Do what you like/love and make sure to do it with other people.

3. Don't do things to be successful in the eyes of others.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#43
Currently I am pretty much in the same position. I am about your age, also about to finish my master in business. Can't provide a quick fix, sorry. I guess it has everything to do with "knowing yourself".

And I think it is all about the environment you find yourself in. Taking a not so full-filling job is nothing to worry about if you're surrounded by people who make your life worthwhile and/or help you to do something else in the long run. Being an isolated, merely self-sustaining cog in the wheel is what's terrifying.

Also, I have to say I find your language a bit odd. Even though I agree with your sentiment that working in an office is not a great prospect, your "more than just.."-bit sounds a bit unhealthy. I mean if office jobs aren't for you that's okay and if you happen to like them that's also okay. But why so judgmental?

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#44
>You have the drive and motivation to get to your destination but once you are there -- you're left wondering -- "what else could I have done?

Time to pick a new destination. Probably something a little more long-term, like becoming a C-suite executive or starting a family. It took you 4-5 (or more) years to get to your first destination. Plan something that takes twice that amount of time.

If you literally just finished (as in 1-2 months ago), might be worth it to take a vacation if you can afford it.

You don't even have to settle on a new destination right now, just stay active physically and mentally. 29 is too young to autopilot your life.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#46
Yes. I always take solace in the knowledge that I could leave all this behind and go live in a tent in the forest if I wanted to. But even that probably isn't true because I've never been camping. I'd probably eat some poison berries and end up like Christopher McCandless.

Working out helps a lot though. So does going outside, especially in natural environments.

> I feel like I should go back to school but do I really want to rack up all that loan?

If you're not sure, the answer is probably 'no'.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#48

I can tell you what not to do; I really mean this. Don't drink. At least not for a while. It could lead to suicidal ideation. Then it's possibly a literal death spiral. You're depressed that you don't get anything done (hobbies, side project, etc). This makes you more depressed. You don't get anything done. This compounds the feelings of trapped/existential worthlessness. Eventually you might come really close to sui…

This can't be upvoted enough. Drugs and alcohol are great, but they should be used to celebrate good times, not to overcome bad ones.

To an extent, you are correct. But my experience has been slightly different.

Having a major-ish depression once or twice a year is customary for me now. This happens no matter how good or bad things in life are going on: whether I'm working on something I really like near an infinity pool in Kuala Lumpur, or whether I'm out of client work and desperate.

Alcohol helps me get through that ("you should go to a shrink", anyone?), and then when this periodic depression is done, I'm back to enjoying the things I do.

With some occasional alcohol when I feel like it, or when dealing with legacy PHP code (no kidding).

One thing I also noticed is having a great, caring, friendly partner reduced my alcohol consumption—significantly.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#49
post #37

I'd climb rocks and find Jesus. In the opposite order, but that sounds less poetic :P Either way, I vouch for both and if you want to know more about either, get in touch. If moderate success doesn't equal moderate happiness then is our whole societal model of success equals happiness broken? I think so. Love, -Daniel

The only way I'd ever be likely to find Jesus is if I fell off the rock for about 3s (depending on height).

That and when I hit my thumb with a hammer since screaming "Random fluctuations in the space time continumn damnit that hurt" just doesn't have the same feeling.

Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

#50

You aren't wrong. Most of us are stuck in conformist, drab and conservative societies, where we're forced to participate in the market economy. This is soul-crushing, and bad for nearly everyone, but especially those in poor countries. I recommend: 1. Don't work hard. Try to reduce your productivity. 2. Don't work long hours. Reduce your working week to the minimum necessary. Most university graduates earn enough to…

Abolishing the world order seems unnecessary but the rest is reasonable advice :)
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