Check out the book "How to Find Fulfilling Work" by Roman Krznaric. Literally changed my life.
Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
31–40 of 360 posts
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#32I'm 32 and I've had similar thoughts at least since I was 27. A kind of existential crisis tinged with deep boredom and non-clinical depression.
I've found 3 things that have helped me deal with my depression/boredom:
1. Have things to look forward to:
Always, always find things to anticipate and look forward to in the short and long term. Whether it is something small, like a treat at the end of the day or something big like a vacation or short trip away.
2. Side projects & working towards self-employment.
Ultimately, the aim is to be the master of my own time. I no longer have to wake up at 8am because I HAVE to but because I (may) WANT to. This for me is so important. To be the master of my time. I'm 32 now, if I'm lucky to live to 70 you can say that I have about 14-20 years of productive time in me. I want to use it for myself.
3. Spirituality.
I know that this isn't for everyone. Personally, I find religion and spirituality helps me to cope with every day issues. It gives me strength where I might otherwise just find a gaping void of pointless-ness into which to fall.
I hope this helps you. As mentioned by another comment try to avoid alcohol. You won't find the answers you need a the bottom of a bottle.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#33As the late Christopher Welch said,
Do not go back to college!
Don't! Do not do that. Go work at Burger King. Go into the woods and forage for nuts and berries. Do not go back to college!
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#34It's nice to hear that everyone here (and yourself) are talking about job and being productive or not.
Maybe it's hard to hear this right away after your major, but a job is just one part if your life. As someone already wrote, also concentrate on your private life, your body and social connections.
And, forget that you will be something super special or will feel super special. You don't have to be Steve Jobs, probably won't be and nobody says that Steve Jobs was a happy person.
Do what you feel is right for you at the moment, have a couple of good friends, work out, and maybe look for a job which helps you for your "birds eye view".
Have a look at Freuds "Über-Ich" [0] and maybe start to listen more at your emotions than on money and job. Nobody says that both couldn't go hand in hand, but after leaving a well paid job, starting at a very poor paid one but with good friends, it's totally worth it.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#35[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#36Here is what I've got for you. Maybe together we'll have four cents: Sounds like you need to set some goals. In school you had them - they were to get to here. Now its time to take stock and set some new ones. Then you'll know where you're going and you won't be lost. For what its worth, here is my mission statement: At home, my wife, kids, friends and family will know they are loved and will see it through my action…
That's a great mission statement, and it's not too lofty to be impossible to attain.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#37I'd climb rocks and find Jesus. In the opposite order, but that sounds less poetic :P Either way, I vouch for both and if you want to know more about either, get in touch. If moderate success doesn't equal moderate happiness then is our whole societal model of success equals happiness broken? I think so. Love,
-Daniel
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#38Usually on this site and Quora, when people have a post like yours, the posters usually offer a piece of advice, that in my humble opinion, advices are useless because usually they say more about the advice-giver, what they wish they could've done when they were younger (doctors/lawyers who studied hard to make bank, advising all students to have fun when they're young but how did they get there?), or tout their own…
Shit. That scares me. Thank you for posting.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#39A few thoughts immediately came to mind in regards to your post.
1. You are intelligent. (you finished your degree, considered several options, you are not making a brash decision, and you are seeking advice. All very positive and responsible things to do.)
2. You are looking for fulfillment in your education/work. (Find an occupation that supports you, your loved ones, and then find fulfillment outside of the 8-5.)
3. Your entire post is generally self seeking. (Find fulfillment in spending time with others, get in shape/fit, find someone that could use your help and enjoy their friendship, volunteer your time/expertise to a worthy cause, pick up a hobby that you always wanted to do. But the most important thing is to find others to enjoy your free time with.)
Edit/Comment: I agree with others, drugs/alcohol should be completely avoided.
Re: Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life
#40I've felt this way.
When you are in school you are given a reward structure to work within, and there is a definite end goal.
Now you are in an open ended situation with no set goal. The transition between the two can be jarring.
I think it might be time to just experiment and try a few things that interest you. Write an ebook, travel, code up an app, whatever appeals to you.
Sometimes we just need to wander a bit before finding our way. Every hero's quest has a period of wandering aimlessly in the wilderness before finding a worthy goal.
Don't just look for something to do, look for the right people to do it with. Choose those people carefully. Especially leave behind people that aren't right for you.
Later, after you've lived a satisfying life and look back, you'll see that all the pieces of that life were there in this very moment. You just can't see them now, but they will come together.
Trust in that, and don't worry too much.
[edit: more advice...]