Ask HN: When you feel stuck in life

I'm 37. I've felt that way in the past. I've felt that way recently. I've had successes and I've had failures. Most people don't wake up and say "I've made it", if you are looking for that, it rarely comes. I agree here, except with less concentration on "build a business around it". Find something you are passionate about and build the hell out of it (software, pizza, wood product). Don't build it for other people build it for yourself and become the best at it. I've failed at businesses that I thought were completely earth-shattering ideas, I've succeeded at businesses where people wanted the product and it was painfully obvious because they were already buying the product elsewhere.

There have been times when I used a goal as a distraction from other stuff. When it was completed, I could no longer avoid things.

Other times I have reached a big goal and not been making new goals to complete next.

In either case, for me the solution involves getting quiet and writing out how I feel. YMMV, i am fairly introverted and work things out internally.

"Life is a journey, not a destination."

I can tell you what not to do; I really mean this. Don't drink. At least not for a while.

It could lead to suicidal ideation. Then it's possibly a literal death spiral. You're depressed that you don't get anything done (hobbies, side project, etc). This makes you more depressed. You don't get anything done. This compounds the feelings of trapped/existential worthlessness. Eventually you might come really close to suicide. No booze.

Grain of salt / what works for others won't work for you / etc.

Don't leap back to school without carefully vetting whatever program has caught your attention. A lot of hoop jumping, and a lot of curriculum that's a decade out of date (or more) out there these days. I've tried to go back a few times, and it's been a complete waste of time/money.

Read Pressfield's "The War of Art." It's cheap, it's short, and it's helpful. There are a few passages that don't quit hit home, but it does one thing really well. It gives you the kind of internal vocabulary you need to get out of the "I'll do it tomorrow" sort of procrastination. "Tomorrow" is really dangerous thinking when there's not an actual deadline. You'll be saying tomorrow for years at a time, without actually moving the needle.

Move the needle every day. Do -something- that counts as forward progress. Momentum goes a long way. Track what you're doing. "What gets measured gets improved" sort of thing.

Be honest with yourself. What have you done that makes you think you should be more than just another office peon? Put in the work. Stop wishing. Earn it.