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Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

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101–110 of 166 posts

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#101
I always say that it's best to retire every few years.

If I wait till I'm 65 (or 70 now) will I be be able to mountain bike, surf, rock climb and do all the other activities I enjoy?

If I wait till I'm 65, I'll be too broken to do any of that.[1]

[1] I know that my interests will change by the time I'm 65, but that doesn't mean those interests aren't worth pursuing now, while I do enjoy them.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

one advice - take a backpack, turn off your phone and go around india for couple of months, low key, low budget. either himalaya, or south, or anything in between (varanasi can be a powerful experience). it changed my life for better, much better, and so did for many more people. It doesn't have to be india per se, but it's the most exotic place to western culture out there and supremely huge. if you look for some en…

It's a good advice, but not everyone needs to run away from something. Sometimes we just have to face ourselves and do a deep introspection on our lives.. I, for myself, find it really hard sometimes to know how I should run my life, or what are my goals. Maybe sometimes there isn't any need to have goals, or maybe my goal is to accomplish every goal so that I empty my goal bucket.. Whatever, I think each one of us a…

> It's a good advice, but not everyone needs to run away from something.

I prefer to think of it as "running towards"...towards something new, interesting and different.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#103
post #92

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

This is why I love teaching. You get a "mini-retirement" for the two summer months every year. After a few years, this gets old and you are forced to find new hobbies to fill the time. Nowadays, I look forward to my summers off precisely because I can start working on my hobbies/side projects for 30 hours a week.

I once heard someone say that there are three reasons they love being a teacher: June, July, and August.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#104

I always say that it's best to retire every few years. If I wait till I'm 65 (or 70 now) will I be be able to mountain bike, surf, rock climb and do all the other activities I enjoy? If I wait till I'm 65, I'll be too broken to do any of that.[1] [1] I know that my interests will change by the time I'm 65, but that doesn't mean those interests aren't worth pursuing now, while I do enjoy them.

If you take care of your body there is no reason you can't mountain bike, climb or surf at 65. I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#105
post #72
post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a counterpoint, I've been off on a sabbatical for 4 months now, and I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do. I honestly thought that I would be bored and craving work at this point. But it turns out that I have enough open source ideas that 3 months can fly by with pleasure, and I extended my sabbatical for another few months. I also have neighbors who I'm friends with, which helps tremendously. And I get to…

Great points. To me, any act of creation or any act that aids in creation = work. Programming, gardening, reading, investing, polishing shoes - anything that makes you feel like you've done something. Rest is all consumption. Chill out = consumption, which I think has some limits. I meant to say 10 hours of sleep, but hey 8h is the new 10h :)

Mindset I guess. To me, chilling out involves a feeling of accomplishment. Programming, reading, playing music, brewing alcohol, exercise, etc.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#106
post #21
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> When you would leave the house or office, nobody would be able to get in touch with you and you could do what you wanted to do without interruption or distraction. It was nice. It was nice? You can still leave your phone at home.

apparently, for some, many even, this puts them under some stress and pressure, socially and organisatoric.

This certainly applies to me. The workaround is to just let those close to you know that you'll be off the grid for a while but are still ok. Then you don't need to worry about them worrying.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#107
post #62

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

I recognize I'm in this situation, but I have no idea what one could do to make a life meaningful, outside of good work or raising great kids, hopefully with a loving partner. I have already tried many things: Living in 3 other countries for 4 years in total (but I was missing family and friends support), being self-employed (I do B2B software like P.McKenzie), learning to dance (3 times, but I feel crap at it), musi…

I have an anecdote about my experience not working for a long period of time. Sounds like I'm in quite a different place in my life to you but I hope you don't mind me sharing and maybe there might be some part of it that is useful. :)

I just spent a year on maternity leave when my second child was born in May last year and headed back to the office in April this year. I'm a software developer for a medium sized team.

Adjusting to not being at work was quite difficult for about the first four months, particularly towards the end of the fourth month where the novelty had worn off but I hadn't really figured it out yet.

Because it was my second leave, I knew that to be content I would have to work through my feelings around my identity without work. It was both difficult and freeing to rediscover myself outside of the pressures of work. I personally felt a little bit afraid that there wouldn't be much left (kind of sad, I know), but I tried to just stay patient with my feelings. I feel like my identity now is more grounded. It was interesting that actually most of the things I value about myself didn't really change. One less thing to feel irrationally afraid of, I guess. :)

With a toddler and a baby at home, I didn't have trouble filling my days, but I thought a lot about how I could best enjoy the time. My goal was just to feel content, not necessarily happy or fulfilled.

The best thing was spending time with my local mum friends. The kids and I would meet up with our friends during the day at least three times a week. I think having a strong, available local network was really important for feeling connected and staying sane.

I joined a local charity for supporting families with babies and ran a group for parents with new babies. It was lovely doing something I felt very passionate about that made the world a tiny bit better. It was kind of nice to be able to use my organisational skills to get it all up and running. A slightly surprising (to me) result was it expanded my social network quite a lot.

I worked on a personal programming project. With all the other things going on, I really needed something just for myself and to work my brain in that way. I would really look forward to the middle of the day when both my kids were resting.

At around four months, we all fell into a fairly comfortable routine. Our days had a fairly standard rhythm and we had regular playdates and play groups to break up the week. The weeks actually started to pass quite quickly at that point.

I feel quite proud that I learnt to live at a slower pace. I miss being able to walk the buggy up to the park just because the day is sunny. It felt quite luxurious to be able to spend as long as I (or my kids) wanted on things, to choose what I was going to do with my day and to not be on a timetable.

I was kind of ready to come back to work after my time was up (small kids are physically and emotionally demanding!), but I was really glad to have the experience. I think in an ideal world, I'd have a career break every five years. It was such a wonderful way to unwind and get some perspective on things.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. I am baffled by friends and family that talk about how they couldn't retire because what would they do? My response is to list the many, many things I want to do that I can't because I 'have to work': read more, learn new languages (spoken & computer), take up the piano/guitar, try new games (board, tabletoprpg, computer), write, program, etc. The only reason I ever get bored is because I don't have the time, r…

My problem is similar but different. The last couple of vacations I've taken have been staycations. Even though I have many hobbies and interests - several musical instruments, writing music, drawing, dabbling in code, reading - not having the structure of a job and expectations of others weighing on me to 'be productive' I procrastinated quite a lot. I frequently felt anxious and unfulfilled. I took this experience…

I've found that when I've been stressed out or overly busy, it can take a while to adjust to a more relaxed rhythm. At first I just want to slack off completely. After a couple of days, this gets boring, but it takes longer than that for my motivation to come back.

Last year I was unemployed for about a month, and it was really only near the end of that time that I started to get some momentum going with side projects and hobbies.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#109

I always say that it's best to retire every few years. If I wait till I'm 65 (or 70 now) will I be be able to mountain bike, surf, rock climb and do all the other activities I enjoy? If I wait till I'm 65, I'll be too broken to do any of that.[1] [1] I know that my interests will change by the time I'm 65, but that doesn't mean those interests aren't worth pursuing now, while I do enjoy them.

If you take care of your body there is no reason you can't mountain bike, climb or surf at 65. I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to.

> I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to.

Of course this is true, but my chances of being fit enough to engage in those activities at 65 go down with the passage of time, and from many factors outside of my control (accidents, major illnesses, something else...)

But there's a more subtle point. By the time I'm 65 I may not want to surf or mountain bike, but I do now.

I need to retire the 20 year old me, the 30 year old me, the 40 year old me .... so that I can enjoy some freedom at each stage of my life.

By the time I'm 65, I literally won't be the same person anymore.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

well, staying at one place makes no sense if you want to have ultimate experience. one can easily spend 10-20 years travelling from one exotic location to the next, if cash is present. even just tropical paradise hopping can be done for 1-2 years. best setup i've seen is to travel around the globe maybe 2 years, through all possible locations. enjoy given country for few weeks/months if it's a big one and move. after…

For me at least this isn't didn't work. As just a small example I went to Europe for 3 months. Helsinki->Stockholm-Antwerp->Brussels->Berlin->Copenhagen->Tromso->Amsterdam->Koln->Dusseldorf->London. Seeing each city was great but the actual things to do start to get very similar. Each city has 2-3 churches. A bunch of art museums with many of the same artists. Yet another farmer's market or marketplace. Shopping cent…

i would never consider visiting any western (or westernized) country to be on par with truly exotic ones, especially when backpacking. maybe they just 'click' with me and all people I know that went through this and describe similar effects, you can be surely different.

but until you try that india experience I suggest, backpacking, on low budget, we're talking about completely different experiences in depth and intensity. 3 months were enough for me, went twice like that.

just one comparison - after a month, all life back home was a very distant memory. after additional month spent hiking in nepal, all my previous life seemed like a faded memory of a dream i had a month ago, unreal. or like childhood memories. not sure how to describe it better

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