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Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

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Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#91

Post by vasilipupkin »

crdoconnor wrote: post #67
andyjdavis wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I think it's a myth that one can just chill out forever Absolutely. My wife and I spent a few years traveling full-time, mostly SE Asia. I worked remotely while my wife was busy with various projects. In particular, tropical islands are incredibly damaging to your motivation and general happiness. We arrived grossly overestimating how much we would enjoying hanging out on a tropical islands and met a great many peop…

The things that got me were the mosquitoes, sunburn and lack of a decent cup of coffee. I hate tropical islands now.

Move to Venice Beach or San Diego. No mosquitoes

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#92

Post by neap24 »

andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

This is why I love teaching. You get a "mini-retirement" for the two summer months every year. After a few years, this gets old and you are forced to find new hobbies to fill the time. Nowadays, I look forward to my summers off precisely because I can start working on my hobbies/side projects for 30 hours a week.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#93

Post by TeMPOraL »

tajen wrote: post #62
andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

I recognize I'm in this situation, but I have no idea what one could do to make a life meaningful, outside of good work or raising great kids, hopefully with a loving partner. I have already tried many things: Living in 3 other countries for 4 years in total (but I was missing family and friends support), being self-employed (I do B2B software like P.McKenzie), learning to dance (3 times, but I feel crap at it), musi…

I too don't feel having a partner and a family is enough for me to consider life fulfilling. For me a more meaningful life would also include doing more programming - but on a projects that I believe in, instead of ones I get assigned by my employers. It would also include a lot of what you'd call hard work in other domains, like electronics, chemistry, etc. - but again, self-directed, and for things that I care about.

Basically, I have shit ton of projects, ideas how to improve things for myself and people around me, that I don't have time to pursue because of $dayjob and $obligations. And I guess one could summarize it with one word - autonomy. This is something that I think leads to a more fulfilling life.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#94

Post by chipsambos »

andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.”

That is why it's important not anchor your identity in the transient. The world is full of people who do and it invariably hits them hard when things inevitably change: Mothers with empty nest syndrome, ageing people clinging desperately to their youthful good looks, jobless and retired people who find their self-esteem smashed and consider themselves useless.

It helps if you clearly define the roles you play in your life: a husband, a father, a brother, a friend, a software dev, a jogger, a cyclist, a member of the local club, an avid collector of y and, above all, a person who can create new roles and find new places for yourself.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#95

Post by TeMPOraL »

maroonblazer wrote: post #47
ergothus wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. I am baffled by friends and family that talk about how they couldn't retire because what would they do? My response is to list the many, many things I want to do that I can't because I 'have to work': read more, learn new languages (spoken & computer), take up the piano/guitar, try new games (board, tabletoprpg, computer), write, program, etc. The only reason I ever get bored is because I don't have the time, r…

My problem is similar but different. The last couple of vacations I've taken have been staycations. Even though I have many hobbies and interests - several musical instruments, writing music, drawing, dabbling in code, reading - not having the structure of a job and expectations of others weighing on me to 'be productive' I procrastinated quite a lot. I frequently felt anxious and unfulfilled. I took this experience…

I've recently started scheduling stuff I'm doing in advance and trying to stick to it, and I found it incredibly empowering. I too ended up wasting a lot of free time despite having a growing bucket list of things to create - scheduling free time helps to overcome that and generally makes me happier. I hope to use the same technique if/when I retire.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#96

Post by TeMPOraL »

somethingsimple wrote: post #26
ams6110 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know if everyone is this way, but at 50 I am losing a little of the starry-eyed excitement. I've seen a lot of the same ideas come around again and again as a new great thing. And yet the pace of change is so fast, if you try to stay current you feel like you never really become an expert in anything. You get jaded. If and when I "retire" I would not see myself not working, but I do think I might do somthing…

I'm 28 and have lost all the starry-eyed excitement :( I was top of class in college, then advanced in huge strides in the first years of my career; now I just want to go home and read a non-technical book. I might be burnt out.

I've lost the starry-eyed excitement about most "new cool tech" long time ago. Pretty much before the time I entered the job market. But that only means I'm free to ignore all the hip trends and focus on building something I like, on solving some problems I feel need solving, on optimizing things around me. After all, isn't that the purpose of all those tools?

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#97

Post by TeMPOraL »

clentaminator wrote: post #78
somethingsimple wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 28 and have lost all the starry-eyed excitement :( I was top of class in college, then advanced in huge strides in the first years of my career; now I just want to go home and read a non-technical book. I might be burnt out.

27 and I feel the same way, in that I don't feel much excitement around technology for technology's sake anymore. The latest version of macOS? Neat, but unlikely to be as "game changing" as Apple might have you believe. The rate of change in some areas of technology can make you think that you're missing out on some kind of important development, however if things are changing that fast then perhaps nothing is really…

One thing I discovered some time ago is that the industry is basically running in circles. There isn't much new being really created; people keep reinventing the same solutions that have been made in the 70-s, only worse, and they still miss some. I think it's better to slow down a bit, brush up on some history, and then build stuff you want to build without worrying you're missing something important.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#99

Post by abledon »

cko wrote: post #79
tajen wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recognize I'm in this situation, but I have no idea what one could do to make a life meaningful, outside of good work or raising great kids, hopefully with a loving partner. I have already tried many things: Living in 3 other countries for 4 years in total (but I was missing family and friends support), being self-employed (I do B2B software like P.McKenzie), learning to dance (3 times, but I feel crap at it), musi…

I'm like you, but I'm 30 and don't want a family or kids. And travel sounds incredibly boring. I've been investing 90% of my income the past five years. When the article or any coworker says "enjoy your hard earned money" it makes no sense to me. What does spending money have to do with happiness? And yet, more money is all I want. If you gave me a billion dollars tomorrow my first thought would be "how do I turn tha…

I might recommend you start Qi-Gong, or some authentic energy manipulation art. After 20 years of practicing or so (If one has a good teacher/school), things can get pretty interesting internally. This type of hobby is a prerequisite for shaolin monks who want to go further into the depths of zen meditation. (which would be quite dangerous at advanced levels without qi-gong allowing them to control their internal organizational cell energy (or Qi/Prana in Asian terms))

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#100

Post by gerbilly »

andyjdavis wrote: post #64
deepGem wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

+1. If your finances are sorted out, it's good to take a break from work for 2-3 months and do absolutely nothing. What you once craved, 8 hours of sleep, hanging out with friends, traveling, spending time with family etc, once you experience them for a long enough time, will start hurting and you will start craving for work. I think it's a myth that one can just chill out forever, which is why I also believe that UB…

>I think it's a myth that one can just chill out forever Absolutely. My wife and I spent a few years traveling full-time, mostly SE Asia. I worked remotely while my wife was busy with various projects. In particular, tropical islands are incredibly damaging to your motivation and general happiness. We arrived grossly overestimating how much we would enjoying hanging out on a tropical islands and met a great many peop…

>In particular, tropical islands are incredibly damaging to your motivation and general happiness.

For me it wouldn't be if the island had a good surf break.

Living on the cheap for a few years on an island like that would be awesome for me.

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