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Burnout and Mental Health

stephaniehurlburt.com

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Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#81

Post by mgkimsal »

geerlingguy wrote: post #45
ryandrake wrote: post #21

> I was used to being scared of being fired-- not that long ago, I'd been scraping by, had a hard time finding work. I didn't fully realize that I had more power now as a programmer. I didn't think about power struggles-- how other people did go home, but because they took the risk of standing up for themselves. This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining powe…

It's extremely important (and often underrated) to build up a good emergency fund to help in this type of situation. It's not the same as FU money—more of a security blanket of at least 3 months (hopefully 6 months plus) of liquid savings (checking, savings, CDs... not stocks, not real estate). Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough pers…

Agreed on emergency fund. I'd probably even add that, once you get to 6 months, shoot for 9 or 12. Still don't have FU money, but have had periods where I've had 2 years of minimal expenses saved up, which I'd never had before (and don't now, but that's a different story). It will give you a different perspective and some mental freedom. I still stressed about work/projects, but never like I had before.

Part of that, for me, is being > 40, the notion of "3 months of savings" just doesn't feel like anywhere near enough. If I needed to go get a new job... most of my >40 yo colleagues who have looked for jobs... it's taken most of them far more than 3 months. In one case it took a friend more than 9 months, and there were moving expenses involved as well. If he'd had "3 months" and that was it... I'm not sure what situation he'd have been in by that point.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#82

Post by mgkimsal »

tequila_shot wrote: post #4

This is exactly what I am going through right now. It's been 5 months and I don't have any recollection of my first month. I'm in the middle of a high profile project which goes to UAT in two weeks, and I know it is slated to fail. There's just too many issues. I have been working 85+ hours every week constantly for the past ~5 months. Being an Immigrant ( H1B) makes it more difficult. All I do these days is code for…

> that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails.

Not trying to be rude here, but what is the worst outcome here? What does being made a scapegoat actually mean? Will you be fired? Deported? Or just... have people at work making you feel worse than you already do? Honest question - not trying to trivialize your situation at all.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#83

Post by CrackpotGonzo »

fredleblanc wrote: post #65

I gave a talk on burnout and "digital overwhelm" in 2015. It's a bit of my story and some tips on coping under the weight of the world. If you're interested: https://vimeo.com/147213533 — Slides are linked in the comments.

Loved this and I completely agree with most of the points you're making. What happened to wonder and boredom? What's your current system? Do you use a smartphone? Intentionally disconnect for periods of time?

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#84

Post by JDiculous »

I completely relate to this.

I realized things needed to seriously change when I couldn't recall how long I'd been living in NYC or my apartment (4 and 3 years), and when I did the math I couldn't believe how much longer it was than I thought. The last year or so has basically been a blur aside from a few interesting memories (eg. vacations). It's not even like I've been working really hard, I've just been living a dull life on autopilot doing the same thing over and over again.

I've noticed that time passes slower when you're doing more interesting things. When I'm on vacation, the days feel much longer and fuller and I remember them in vivid detail. On the other hand, a month at the office is often just one continuous blur (I wrote about this here: http://jdiculous.blogspot.com/2016/04/slow-down-time-routine...). Also I'd been struggling to wake up before 10am and generally feeling sleep-deprived during the week, but on vacation I naturally wake up bright and early at 6:30-7:30am and fully awake.

I just quit my job and flew to Tokyo just to experience something different. My first day I woke up at 7am and went to bed at 7am. That single day was more memorable than the weeks if not months before I quit my job.

I've just managed to land a remote job. My plan is to travel around, and I'm hoping that the freshness of constantly being exposed to new environments and experiences outside my comfort zone will keep me sharp and more engaged with life rather than another forgettable year in an air-conditioned open office at the same desk around the same people.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#85

Post by curun1r »

geerlingguy wrote: post #45
ryandrake wrote: post #21

> I was used to being scared of being fired-- not that long ago, I'd been scraping by, had a hard time finding work. I didn't fully realize that I had more power now as a programmer. I didn't think about power struggles-- how other people did go home, but because they took the risk of standing up for themselves. This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining powe…

It's extremely important (and often underrated) to build up a good emergency fund to help in this type of situation. It's not the same as FU money—more of a security blanket of at least 3 months (hopefully 6 months plus) of liquid savings (checking, savings, CDs... not stocks, not real estate). Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough pers…

This is such good advice, I feel the need to echo it. But there are more dimensions to an emergency fund than you've listed. For instance, I've used the fact that I had 6+ months of savings to push back against an assigned task at work that I felt was unethical. Knowing that I would be okay if they didn't back down and fired me allowed me to protect my integrity. Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy freedom. Freedom from stress, freedom to pursue something you feel is important, freedom to do the right thing when the wrong thing is convenient.

And the beautiful part of the saving process is that you're almost getting 2-for-1 on each dollar you save. People with little savings are, duh, spending basically what they earn. In that state, it may seem daunting to think, "How can I save 6 times what I spend when I have so little left over each month?" But as you cut back expenses, you start to see how little you actually need to survive. And that 6-month target, when translated into dollars (or whatever currency you're saving), starts to shrink. So, for instance, say you make $5k/mo after taxes and are spending just about that much. Saving $30k seems really hard. But if you can cut your expenses by 30% down to $3500/mo, now you're saving $1500/mo and only need to save $21k to get to 6 months of savings. That can be done in roughly one year.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#86

Post by curun1r »

itg wrote: post #15
theparanoid wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Walk away. I waited too long and lost a year of my life. It took 4 years to get back on track.

>Walk away H1B folks can't easily do that. One reason why companies love hiring them.

H1Bs, especially those from poorer countries, are often more able to walk away. They just can't walk away and stay in the US. Being able to return to a place with a lower cost of living means you need less money in the bank to feel comfortable turning in your notice.

The world is getting smaller and more companies are realizing that remote workforces are possible. The network of people you build is far more important for finding a job than your location. Coming to the US can be an excellent way to break in and establish that network. But once you've done that, it's not necessary to stay here.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#87

Post by galfarragem »

geerlingguy wrote: post #45
ryandrake wrote: post #21

> I was used to being scared of being fired-- not that long ago, I'd been scraping by, had a hard time finding work. I didn't fully realize that I had more power now as a programmer. I didn't think about power struggles-- how other people did go home, but because they took the risk of standing up for themselves. This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining powe…

It's extremely important (and often underrated) to build up a good emergency fund to help in this type of situation. It's not the same as FU money—more of a security blanket of at least 3 months (hopefully 6 months plus) of liquid savings (checking, savings, CDs... not stocks, not real estate). Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough pers…

Completely agree. I would just add: keep your expenses low enough that allow you to make an emergency fund of 12+. It's liberating.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#88

Post by tequila_shot »

mgkimsal wrote: post #82
tequila_shot wrote: post #4

This is exactly what I am going through right now. It's been 5 months and I don't have any recollection of my first month. I'm in the middle of a high profile project which goes to UAT in two weeks, and I know it is slated to fail. There's just too many issues. I have been working 85+ hours every week constantly for the past ~5 months. Being an Immigrant ( H1B) makes it more difficult. All I do these days is code for…

> that I'll be made a scapegoat if the project fails. Not trying to be rude here, but what is the worst outcome here? What does being made a scapegoat actually mean? Will you be fired? Deported? Or just... have people at work making you feel worse than you already do? Honest question - not trying to trivialize your situation at all.

I'm thinking I'll be fired, and then because staying in US without an employer even for a day is illegal, I'll be forced to go back.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#89

Post by 20andup »

I just came back from a 5 day holiday. I was working so much on my own project that I burnt out. It took me a few days to realize what was going on since my project was getting easier and yet I felt a lost in motivation.

So I locked my computer up, took a road trip for 3 days and did literally nothing for another 2 days. I started working again yesterday afternoon and was quite surprised how much more agile my mind has become.

It's hard to let go and relax sometime when there is always so much to be done. I think we are need to realize everyone is human and every few months we need some break no matter if we feel like we do or not.

After working for 10 years now, I now realize that nothing is really every that urgent. No matter what anyone tells you. Its your perception (or your boss's) that make it urgent, but objectively, it probably isn't.

The world won't stop spinning just cause you took one more day to finish something. Burn yourself out, and it may even take up more time.

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