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Burnout and Mental Health

stephaniehurlburt.com

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Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#41

Post by Retric »

jondubois wrote: post #29
kafkaesq wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you care to share - why would that be?

I've been working on my latest project for about 5 years (before that I spent 5 years on a project which ended in failure) with my latest project, the market has kept changing and I keep pivoting in subtle ways to stay relevant. I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep…

Plus minus 2 weeks is not going to kill a 5 year old project. Take a little time, recharge and think about exiting sell / quit ect. You only have one life and burning 10 years for a nominal return is enough.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#42

Post by netule »

jondubois wrote: post #29
kafkaesq wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you care to share - why would that be?

I've been working on my latest project for about 5 years (before that I spent 5 years on a project which ended in failure) with my latest project, the market has kept changing and I keep pivoting in subtle ways to stay relevant. I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep…

It's scary to think that with some minor alterations I could have written your previous two posts.

The worst thing is that deep down I enjoy the pressure even though I know it's slowly destroying my life and everything I love. I just seem to take it and turn to stone.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#43

Post by netule »

nul_byte wrote: post #33

I hope I don't sound conceited here, but this was me and I resolved the issue. Meditation. 15 minutes a day is all it takes, and I get myself to that place of not giving a care in the world and feeling all the stress just drop away. The only way I can describe it as, is like when you go on a beach holiday and you're lying in the sun, not sure what day it is (Saturday, Wednesday?) and feeling content. Its now become v…

Can you recommend any resources for beginning meditation?

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#44

Post by jondubois »

gt565k wrote: post #24
jondubois wrote: post #12

This sounds like the past 10 years of my life. I can't even enjoy normal life activities anymore... And I can't afford to take a long enough break to recover (if that's still possible?). I don't even care about memories anymore - I'm in survival mode; I'm just a bullet moving towards its target. It's like I've been running through a tunnel as fast possible for a long time and I can finally just see the light at the e…

Take 2 weeks off and buy an airplane ticket asap. It helps to have something to look forward to. Go to a different country, a change of scenery, new cultures to explore are always a great way to take your mind off the daily grind.

I refined my initial comment a little to not to sound so depressing. I do enjoy my work itself but the pursuit of success is not enjoyable when you don't get any meaningful results - Especially when the whole system feels like it is stacked against you.

I did change countries recently - I'm working remotely but it's definitely not a break.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#45

Post by geerlingguy »

ryandrake wrote: post #21

> I was used to being scared of being fired-- not that long ago, I'd been scraping by, had a hard time finding work. I didn't fully realize that I had more power now as a programmer. I didn't think about power struggles-- how other people did go home, but because they took the risk of standing up for themselves. This is a real part of burnout--the realization that as employee #3422 you don't have much bargaining powe…

It's extremely important (and often underrated) to build up a good emergency fund to help in this type of situation. It's not the same as FU money—more of a security blanket of at least 3 months (hopefully 6 months plus) of liquid savings (checking, savings, CDs... not stocks, not real estate).

Ever since I finally saved that amount, it's helped a LOT with that feeling... If I lose my job today, I'll have enough personal runway to take a little time and find a good new job. I'm lucky in that I've never personally been laid off, but I know some people who have, and it's definitely a huge burden if you don't have even a month's worth of solvency.

Takeaway: do whatever you can to save at least 3 months' spending in a liquid emergency fund. Try for 6+, especially if you are supporting a family.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#46

Post by g0v »

simonswords82 wrote: post #7

This article strikes home with me...I've not told this story publicly before: I've burnt out twice, it ain't pretty and once you've experienced burnout it opens doors in your brain that are difficult and time consuming to close again. So you're best off making sure those doors remain closed by taking care of yourself :) For the first five or so years of my software company I worked like a dog on meth. It wasn't smart…

Something that I've been learning lately is that balance is vital to survival.

I'm a student, and I had a burnout a couple months ago. Thankfully, I was able to learn important things about myself, namely certain limits of mine (and I was studying limits at the time for calc class). I was far behind and yet I was struggling everyday to grasp the material. I ended up having to drop two out of three classes and managed to save the one I didn't drop.

I had been ignoring other parts of my life, like social interaction, and with my thoughts always running I eventually developed delusions(I have mental disabilities also). Since then I've put away social media and have been making time to go outside and around people to try to make connections, as well as yard work (can be therapeutic).

Now I see imbalances in my life more clearly than before. So, like a problem solver, I'll see what I can do about it. :)

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#47

Post by outworlder »

Swizec wrote: post #39
tequila_shot wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is a legitimate question, not a criticism: why do you think that you, specifically, will be the scapegoat? Because I am the lead developer on this project and the manager of this project was always unavailable to escalations / concerns. In the end I just think he'd wipe his hands off and say he was never involved in this project ( though he is supposed to be working 50% on this project)

Sounds like a great scapegoat to me! Hope you have all those email threads stored :) If not -> start producing them.

Oh yes please build a paper trail. This should be your no.1 job starting now.

Doesn't matter what the actual outcome will be, the paper trail is your only defense.

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#48

Post by xyience »

jondubois wrote: post #12

This sounds like the past 10 years of my life. I can't even enjoy normal life activities anymore... And I can't afford to take a long enough break to recover (if that's still possible?). I don't even care about memories anymore - I'm in survival mode; I'm just a bullet moving towards its target. It's like I've been running through a tunnel as fast possible for a long time and I can finally just see the light at the e…

What's your burn rate? That is, if you stop doing any income-producing activities, how long can you live off of savings? Considering burning through them all for a long period of no work. Or if you think you can manage for longer, try to get to the magic number where 4% of your investments (assuming at least 5% annual ROI) covers your expenses, thus making you 'retired'.

Recovery (at least partial) is still possible, but you might be at the point where the first year of recovery looks like a lot of doing nothing but sleeping: http://jacquesmattheij.com/dealing-with-burn-out

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#49

Post by smokeyj »

jondubois wrote: post #29
kafkaesq wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you care to share - why would that be?

I've been working on my latest project for about 5 years (before that I spent 5 years on a project which ended in failure) with my latest project, the market has kept changing and I keep pivoting in subtle ways to stay relevant. I've never raised any funding and I'm competing against really well funded startups so basically every few months, I see some other company implement my idea (ahead of me) and I have to keep…

I've experience the exact same thing. It becomes a cyclical rut of feeling like you're not making enough progress on a project, then feeling guilty for spending time enjoying other things. Thoughts like "why should I enjoy my sunday morning in the park? I could be working feature x".

My advice isn't for everyone, but I got over the rut by realizing we're not going to be young and healthy forever. The term YOLO has become epitomized with young people making stupid decisions but some of us should really take it to heart.

I read a piece about making life decisions based on a regret minimization framework. Essentially you ask yourself which life you'd regret least when you're 80 and that's what you should do. I asked myself whether I'd regret never launching a successful product more, or never living a fulfilling life with adventure and meaningful relationships.

On a more concrete note, it's important for me to schedule time for exercise and fun. It helps by keeping me productive and my brain healthy, but also you won't have that voice in your head saying "hey, you should really be working on that other feature right now".

Re: Burnout and Mental Health

#50

Post by dhruvkar »

cta11419 wrote: post #17
dhruvkar wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having seen people close to me experience this, I feel for you. However, I haven't heard any success stories that have made it any OTHER way. It's usually in looking back, that people say burn out was wrong and I probably shouldn't have done it that way. What's the alternative?

> success stories that have made it any OTHER way It often hinges on what you count as success. If you want to grow something to a place where you can appoint a managing director to take over your least comfortable responsibilities, you'll often need to work yourself into burnout or burn through a ton of capital. But plenty of people set up little lifestyle businesses or contract shops without all that. You just have…

> It often hinges on what you count as success.

Agreed. However, even in a lifestyle business, I have a hard time imagining not working like crazy to get it off the ground. I've tried starting a couple (obviously doing something wrong since I didn't succeed), but that's the way I felt I needed to work.

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